Monday, September 17, 2012

Newbies and Ben Wa balls

A 1” Pyrex glass Ben Wa set from Glass Fantasy

A reader recently asked: “Could you direct me to a pair of safe and affordable balls than I can buy online? What size of balls would be a good size to start at? My diaphragm size is 65mm if that helps at all.”

Full disclosure: First a caution, certain styles of Ben Wa balls may not be appropriate for women with an IUD inserted. That’s because the IUD strings might get caught in the strings or seams in the ball set and pull the IUD out when the balls are removed. And, second, I have no financial interest in nor have I been approached by the merchants mentioned in this post to mention them.

I compiled this information for members of another forum, but since I’ve been asked for my opinion about which type and size may be appropriate for someone new to Ben Wa balls I thought I’d post it here too.

Q: How should I go about getting the right set of Ben Wa Balls for me? There are different sizes, ones made of different materials and kinds, attached or not.

Since you are just getting started what you need might depend on your OB history. If you have given birth and have lax muscle tone you would probably do better at first with a larger size and a lighter (hollow plastic) set. The larger the ball diameter the easier it is to grip when you squeeze/clench your pelvic muscles. While I personally don’t care for large (1.5”) attached balls they may be better initially as they are easier to remove if that becomes a problem. If you get attached balls be sure they are attached by a solid plastic cord not a string passed through a hole in a hollow ball, as that kind is difficult to clean and disinfect properly. And be sure to keep them clean.

You may find it fairly easy (or not) to hold the balls inside you depending on your initial muscle tone and pelvic anatomy. Some women have a very pronounced/deep post-pubic vault and a pronounced pubic shelf (the area directly behind your pubic bone, while others have a very shallow one. For women with a deep post-pubic vault when standing the back of the pubic bone forms a ledge (the pubic shelf) on which the balls will rest that helps hold the balls inside you. For women with a shallow post-pubic vault the pubic bone offers less support for the balls and more of their weight is placed directly on the vaginal oculus and introitus if the wearer isn’t gripping them tightly with her pelvic muscles. A deep post-pubic vault can make individual balls more difficult to remove until you know the trick of pushing down as though having a bowel movement while with your fingers pushing in on your tummy just above your pubic bone to move the balls out of your post-pubic vault where, if you are still pushing down, they should pop out.

Once you are confident that you can walk around with the Ben Wa set inserted w/o being concerned that they will slip out you can advance to a heavier set of the same diameter, or a smaller diameter set. It takes more strength to train with smaller or heavier ball sets.

If you are already tight using a little water based intimate lube should allow you to insert them quickly and comfortably. Once inserted the balls should cause your vagina to self-lubricate. The amount of your natural lubrication can vary. If you are on hormonal birth control the amount of natural lube you produces may be limited due to the drying effect some women experience from the progestin. If you are cycling naturally the amount of lube you produce will depend on where you are in your cycle, peaking when you are fertile. I recommend water based lubes because they are safe to use while oily lubes will drastically shorten the life of condoms and cervical barriers.

To use a set of Ben Wa Balls for training to tighten and strengthen your pelvic muscles you should start by doing sets of clenching exercises. Squeeze down on the balls 5 times, holding each squeeze for a second then release and give yourself a minute between sets and do 10 set of 5 squeezes each. You can try that regimen several times in a morning and again in the afternoon and see how you feel. If you aren’t sore you can gradually increase the length and number of sets as you gain strength and stamina. You should begin to see improvement in two weeks or so. I think the nice thing about Ben Wa Balls for training is that once you are confident that you can wear them outside your home you can wear them at work or while shopping or driving to increase your strength and stamina w/o anyone knowing.

Q: What would you suggest for a beginner and what fun, creative and interesting ways have you use them?

Duo-tone balls, metal balls that have smaller balls inside that chime when the smaller balls move inside the larger, are fun to wear for the erotic feel as the smaller balls move and to enjoy the secret naughty pleasure while out in public.

You can also wear ball sets during foreplay letting your partner insert them for you, or let him penetrate you with the balls still inserted. That can be a weird feeling and not for everyone, but it is something you could try.

I like to let my partner insert a set in me and then when he is ready to penetrate me I’ll squeeze the balls out and pop them in to his mouth so he can feel my warmth and taste my secretions as he is thrusting in me. Or, if you are a Submissive and your Master/Dom has ordered you to wear the balls he might like for you to squeeze them out into his hand and pop them into your mouth before he enters you.

A WARNING HERE: Whoever takes the balls into their mouth should be very careful not to accidentally swallow one or both of them while the mind is focused on enjoying the pleasure of an intimate relationship. Putting them in my cheeks, like a squirrel with peanuts, works for me, but I find having training balls in my mouth is too submissive for me to allow a partner to do it very often.

You can wear the balls while using a G-spot vibrator while lying at an angle that lets the balls touch the vibrator. For me that can be awesome as it extends the area involved and intensifies the feeling. I do this with my individual one inch glass ball set.

The set I usually wear are individual one inch diameter solid Pyrex glass balls. These weigh .65 oz each and are very easy to clean as they can be boiled to sterilize them. And can be warmed or cooled under tap water before insertion to get a range of sensations. Once you get comfortable with insertion and removal and confident that you won’t expel them if you cough or sneeze you might want to consider Pyrex glass for long term training. Pyrex is hypoallergenic so you should be able to wear Pyrex continuously for several days at a time w/o a problem if your muscles can stand it.


One inch Pyrex glass balls: I purchased my 1” diameter Pyrex glass Ben Wa sets (I bought two) from: Glass  However, they are currently out of stock from this vendor. Another vendor is Adam and Eve at: Adam &  .

One and a quarter inch solid steel balls: I bought my 1.25” diameter solid chrome steel balls from VBX ball bearings . For someone looking for a challenge they weigh 4.61 oz each! That’s slightly more than 7 times the .65 oz that each of my 1” Pyrex glass balls weigh! As this is written I’m slowly making progress in getting used to wearing one, but realistically (for me) they are far too heavy to be worn anywhere but in bed or perhaps briefly around the house.

Three-quarter inch solid steel balls: Since my experience with the 1.25” solid steel balls I bought a set of ten .75” diameter solid chrome steel balls, again from VBX ball bearings and the .75 size is much more manageable. Ten is the smallest number I could get, but I rationalized that by thinking I would have spares if I lost one while out shopping. That way I could look amazed like everyone else and wouldn’t have to run after it. Each .75” ball weighs 1.0 oz so they are about 25% Small and 33% heavier than my 1” inch Pyrex glass set, which for now makes them ideal. They require a tighter grip and are heavier so I get a really good workout and I can wear them confidently out of the house. Having extra .75” balls also lets me insert four at a time when around the house. That’s not quite the equivalent of a single 1.25” but I have to grip tighter to hold the stack in place. Don’t try wearing metal balls through airport security.

Other sets and sizes: Both Glass and Adam and; have an extensive selections of Ben Wa ball sets.


  1. This was a very helpful post thank you very much! I would never have guess I could just go get some ball bearings! Are all of VBX balls made of material that is safe to keep in the vagina?

    1. Stainless steel should withstand the acidity of vaginal secretions well and if they begin to show wear (which mine haven’t) they are inexpensive to replace if you’ve bought a 10 pack.. VBX also has ceramic bearings, but they are much more expensive and I haven't found any of a size that works for me. For all around use I still like the 1" Pyrex glass ones

  2. Your recommendation of the Pyrex balls is excellent and I have a pair as you describe. I also have a pair of ivory balls that I acquireedin an antique shop in Taiwan many years ago. Today, they could not be imported and they are a bit light for my preference, but they are interesting and I have no idea how many women they connect me to over the years. Each one is drilled, apparently for a silk cord to connect them. This introduces hygiene problems and I do not like the linked balls.

  3. Question for Jill: I was rereading the description of the steel balls and it hit me that the numbers did not compute. I am confused as to how the 1.25" diameter solid steel balls could be 4.61 ounces but the .75" diameter is only one ounce; .75 is more than half of 1.25 but one ounce is not more than half of 4.61 ounces. Which is the correct weight??

  4. Hi Yvonne, I think the weight of a solid sphere has to do with its volume and what it’s made of.

    I used a very accurate scale to measure the weights and then entered the radius of each ball into the calculator to get the volume of each in cubic inches. I used the volume calculator at:

    .75 inch chrome steel ball = 1.0 oz
    1.00 inch surgical steel ball = 2.153 oz
    1.25 inch chrome steel ball = 4.61 oz

    Volume of a 0.75 inch sphere = .22097 cubic inches
    Volume of a 1.0 inch sphere = .52337 cubic inches
    Volume of a 1.25 inch sphere = 1.02304 cubic inches

    You can see that the weight increases match the increases in the volume of the spheres.

    I’m glad someone is paying attention and reading my posts. Please ask if you have more questions.

  5. Thanks for printing my second post ... but what happened to my first?? The first included a request for feedback on how best to create progressive resistance with the ben wa balls in the context of what else I was doing ... Thanks.

  6. In an earlier message Yvonne wrote:

    “The Kegelmaster is primarily about progressive resistance and I would like to find some way of creating a similar progressive resistance with some variation in the Ben Wa balls, that is I would like to find some way to keep adding weight in a precise and graduated way beyond the very limited range of the products I now have.”

    Hi again Yvonne: You might want to look into getting solid glass, and solid steel balls in various diameters up to perhaps a maximum of 2 inches (for glass) and work with them. When you are strong enough you can mix and match steel and glass sets of four of ever increasing sizes and weights with the largest/heaviest inserted first, eventually working up to four solid steel balls.

    That way you can train with a wide variety of total weights in the stack of four and the larger/heavier balls will put pressure on the smallest nearest the entrance to your vagina and make it very difficult to hold inside you while walking around. That makes a super workout!

    VBX ball bearings and similar baring sales outlets are good places to find stainless steel balls and a few 1.0 inch diameter solid steel balls are on eBay as Ben Wa sets. Also Shops that sell glass balls as marbles and others that sell them as decorative items for pool and flowerbed decoration are good places to find various sizes of solid and hollow glass balls.

    Good luck

  7. I really appreciate the suggestions,


  8. Hi I just use them for the first time it was very hard to get it out but when the second one came out it had a discharge of "cum" is that normal

    1. Hi and welcome!

      It could have been semen if you had sex w/o a condom up to several days before. Or, it could have been cervical discharge of some sort. Cervical discharge changes depending where you are in your cycle.

      If you aren't on hormonal contraceptives and it was thick and very stretchy it might have been fertile cervical mucus.

  9. Jill,
    When I went to the VXB site, all I could find were the circles within which ball bearings should go... not the spheres themselves.
    What did you enter in their search

    1. Hi Anon, welcome to my world.

      Look under loose bearing balls. If they don’t have the size you’re looking for email them. They have the ten packs of 1.0 and the .75 inch balls in stock. Here’s the link: . Let me know what you get and how you like them. Ok?

  10. I would like to know more re. weight and size relative personal to anatomy/accomodation along with muscular tone.
    I have read that smaller, heavier balls create a harder workout. I used to get incontinence stress when jogging/sneezing until my children got bigger and I got back into sex routine. Discipline and Kegels exercises also remedied and help eliminate the problem altogether.

    I am now past menopause and I have been seperated for a few years. I dont get the incontinence stress that I used to, unless occasionally I have a full to bursting bladder and someone makes me laugh a lot, so I figure my tone is not terrible/normal. I want to try the balls, are the vibrating/chiming ones less heavy?... also, my concern is vaginal dryness...does anyone know if the balls can help or irritate with this post-men problem?

    1. Hi Anon, welcome to my world!

      >I have read that smaller, heavier balls create a harder workout.

      Yes, that’s usually the case

      >I want to try the balls, are the vibrating/chiming ones less heavy?...

      It depends on the size and material (glass, plastic, or metal and whether hollow or solid. Usually for balls of the same size hollow (vibrating/chiming) balls are lighter than solid ones.

      >my concern is vaginal dryness...does anyone know if the balls can help or irritate with this post-men problem?

      Vaginal dryness is caused by a lack of estrogen which decreases significantly as we reach menopause. If you aren’t on or don’t want to start taking supplemental estrogen then I think when you start using Ben Wa balls you should start using a small amount of a good water based vaginal lube and see how you do. If you are using glass or metal you should be able to use a good quality silicone lube which is more slippery and lasts longer. However, silicone lubes can react with some plastic and make it sticky so unless you have an old set to test the silicone lube on first I think I’d stick with water based lubes to use with plastic balls. Silicone lubes are also harder to get out of undies and other clothes.

      Please ask if you have more questions and let us know what you decide


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Powys , Wales, United Kingdom
I'm a classically trained dancer and SAB grad. A Dance Captain and go-to girl overseeing high-roller entertainment for a major casino/resort