Sunday, January 11, 2015

The funeral


Frenched and denuded rack of lamb

The Photo: These two full racks of lamb have been frenched down to the eye muscle and denuded, so there is no fat or silver skin left. The bones are completely cleaned, exposing almost their full length, and only a delicate morsel of delicious lamb is left. This elegant cut makes a striking presentation when served as a full rack and sliced at the table. But it’s also perfect for quick grilling; the chops can be eaten out of hand at an outdoor party.

There were 300 guests for the reception. My cook, Mrs. Harris, prepared spring rack of lamb with six ribs per serving for the meal held in the great hall of the castle after the funeral. Doing the math 300 guests x 6 ribs each, that’s 113 lambs, if anyone is counting. The lambs were from the Barony’s flocks which are noted for the sweetness of their meat and sought after by up-market restaurants. All the mourners raved about the meal! As well they should as Mrs. Harris also baked her prize winning strawberry scones!

The Funeral:  I’m very pleased to say that the 22nd Baroness gave a flawless final performance in a staring role and I thought my social début, in a supporting role as her successor, went quite well. I attribute my nearly flawless performance to the fact that Marvin and I fucked for nearly three hours the night before so that I was still boneless and gasping in afterglow when I fell asleep. I was CD28 on Friday and spotting so had a silicone Milex Omniflex inserted for flow control as I began my period on schedule in spite of all the stress this past cycle.

As predicted the weather was wet in the afternoon with the temperature in the low 40s F, but other than the smell of damp wool clothing in the chapel. The Bishop was generous and brief in his remarks about the life of Edith, 22nd Baroness Blackthorn. Afterward everyone enjoyed themselves celebrating the life of the late Baroness demonstrated primarily by the speed with which they devoured a fine feast. Mid-afternoon His Grace’s party departed in a light rain as the pilot said the flight controllers told him the weather was good enough for their flight back to Inverness. 

Family matters: Seeing Jack departing with Ashley on his arm and almost certainly pregnant, depressed me a bit, but I’m really fond of Marvin and his sperm viability check has come back saying that he has very high quality sperm so we should be good to start trying for a family. No, I have no intention of getting pregnant. Years ago I had some of my eggs harvested and cryogenically stored so Marvin and I will marry at some point and go the IVF route and have a surrogate carry the baby. I hope this doesn’t sound harsh, but having spent my life up to this point keeping my body in top shape for the strain that ballet puts on it I don’t see losing my conditioning for a year or longer with one or more pregnancies and I’m sure I’ll love the baby none the less for not having carried her myself.  

Scavenger hunt: On Monday my Lady’s Maid (think Dresser, who had been with Edith for more than 20 years) and I will begin going through Edith’s things and her most personal and private closets the keys for which the Barony’s solicitors gave me in a sealed packet after the funeral.  Well, that description was probably unkind, but there is no telling what we will find.  I can hardly wait!

Anya and my wards leave for London: Anya took Bea, Willow, Odette and Odile and their escorts back to Blackthorn House in London on the 10:34 from Caersws. That gives the railroad 20 minutes to switch The Dragon in Birmingham to the Euston train arriving at 3:41. For a 3 ½ hour trip I wouldn’t have sent them down on The Dragon, but we never transferred their luggage and they aren’t traveling light so they may as well enjoy the trip while they can be pampered.

Home alone: Finally! Marvin and I are here by ourselves. Well, not exactly as there is the permanent house staff of ten, but they are nearly invisible unless you ring for one so with just the two of us here it is almost lonely. The servants in descending order of importance are:

Females: A staff of six: the Housekeeper, Mrs. Wallace; the Cook, Mrs. Harris; Emily, my Lady’s Maid/Dresser; two Housemaids and a Kitchenmaid. 

Males: A staff of four:  Charles, Chamberlain of the Household (Estate Steward); the Butler, Mr. Harris, the cook’s husband; a Footman/chauffer and an under-footman.

I’ve already spoken with His Grace about a Valet for Marvin. Marvin insists he doesn’t want one, but a secretary/Valet might be more acceptable and His Grace has a man he can recommend. Marvin is amazed at the labor needed and Edith the 22nd hardly entertained at all in the last few years. I don’t propose to try to out Downton Downton Abbey, but if I can afford it and I’m expected to entertain why not do it properly and in style?


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Powys , Wales, United Kingdom
I'm a classically trained dancer and SAB grad. A Dance Captain and go-to girl overseeing high-roller entertainment for a major casino/resort