Training diaphragms & Libertines

A Milex diaphragm showing the extrusion nub

Training diaphragms at St Lucy’s: The Milex Arcing diaphragm with its ‘G-spot button’ in the center of the dome has become the choice for young women learning to identify their G-spots through a gas-guard. Both the Omniflex (coil spring) and the Arcing have extrusion nubs in the center of the inside of the dome but the Arcing diaphragm is preferred to train new users because the Arcing folds into a crescent making it easier to slip beneath and behind the cervix to place correctly. Some few women can actually feel the center nub press on their G-spots during penile thrusting (though most can’t) which is how the ‘G-spot button’ got its name. Milex has a deeper dome than the Semina (Barbie Barrier) of pink transparent silicone that is a fave of St Lucy’s students but a Milex is a more rugged device and better suited for use during rough or dive-sex.

Fluids in the dome: One of the first things students are taught about diaphragms, if they are using one for contraception, is immediately upon its removal to analyze the fluids collected in the dome. Depending on where a woman is in her cycle and if she has had sexual intercourse with a man the possible fluids that could be collected in the dome of a cervical barrier are: fertile cervical mucus (FCM), ovulation spotting, menstrual flow, naturally produced arousal lube, spermicide and if there is a leak, semen.

Reading the fluids in the dome of a diaphragm isn’t quite like reading tea leaves, but it isn’t an exact science either and it takes practice to do it well.

• FCM or egg white cervical fluid is (for most women) clear (though for some it can be yellowish), thick, slippery, bioadhesive and very stretchy. It occurs a few days before a woman ovulates and if sperm reaches a woman’s FCM it can swim up into her tubes more easily and live for as long as 5 days awaiting the release of her egg.

• Ovulation spotting occurs from the woman’s peaking estrogen destabilizing her endometrium at ovulation and is usually seen as a brown (oxidized blood) stain coloring any other fluids in the dome.

• Menstrual flow, collected in a diaphragm is a fluid colored from bright red to black (depending how long it has been collecting in the dome) or with clots if her endometrium is coming away from the walls of her uterus in chunks rather than dissolving into a thick fluid.

• Spermicide will liquefy ay body temperature and as a clear gel looks very much like FCM except that it is not stretchy.

• Semen a few minutes after it is released by the man turns clear and is bioadhesive and often not mix with other fluids so if there is a lot it can be easily seen if the woman knows what she is looking for. Spermicide will take care of the little that might get past the rim due to dynamic flexing of the walls and rim. If the diaphragm has displaced or if there appears to be a lot of semen in the dome taking EC is advised if the woman knows she is not in the luteal phase of her cycle or if she doesn’t know where in her cycle she is.

Jack on encounter sex: “Virtually all of the sex you write about is what I would term "encounter" sex... as opposed to relationship sex. Encounter sex is of course selfish as noted... and has nothing to do with establishing or holding on to a man in an enduring relationship. Of course, if both partners see sex as encounter sex, fidelity and relationship sex are not even a consideration. Sex, become a sport, a competition and we can see how BDSM and fetish fit so well into this paradigm with their strong emphasis on rules and roles. Sure when folks are single they go hunting for encounter sex to bars, parties and clubs where people are advertising their wares (attire). Most people, who are into encounter sex, want to have many conquests and variety. They wear these conquests like a resume… the more the merrier. So it might make sense if one approaches sex with the encounter paradigm that equipping oneself with all the skills and kit would make one more competitive and desirable in the "meat/meet" market. After all who would want as a partner for sex...some naive virgin or a kinky rubber BDSM chick who looked like she had a PhD in perversity? We all know men like women who look and act like whores in the "bed"? But we know that bed has nothing to do with fetish sex... I'm sure for singles class in perversity would be possible if one is trying to get a competitive edge in the dating mating encounter game. I don't see that moms and dads find this something to have their daughters educated in however. While to some they might become elite sexual performers and achievers, it hardly seems to be something one would proudly announce to grannie or the neighbors at a dinner party. I'll take that all with a bit of deep sea salt.”

Assertiveness & the mate market: “If both partners see sex as encounter sex, fidelity and relationship sex are not even a consideration.”

Not so, since from a woman’s perspective the market for the best mates is very competitive and assertiveness using all a woman’s skills is often necessary to participate successfully in the highest reaches of society today. Soft skin, lovely smiles, gloriously long satiny hair, Jimmy Choo stilettos and $1,500 Dior frocks in public tend to hide the ‘accidental’ sharp elbows and knees often used in women’s gyms and dance studios to move a competitor out of the way even in the most seemingly polite circles. This is why a competitor will often change classes, gyms or studios to escape training with a rival.

Coaching by Grannie: “I don't see that moms and dads find this something to have their daughters educated in however. While to some they might become elite sexual performers and achievers, it hardly seems to be something one would proudly announce to grannie…”

That’s an understandable, but incorrect, view from an outsider. St Lucy’s has been around long enough that we have a large percentage of legacy students whose grandmothers attended St Lucy’s themselves and not infrequently underwrite their granddaughters tuition. We have a very supportive alumnae organization that has enhanced the gene pool of a great many prominent families in North America and Europe while guiding female offspring toward an exceptional education of the mind and body at St Lucy’s.

Jack on Jill and Libertines: “ Eric, You are confusing the word liberal with libertine: A libertine is one devoid of most moral restraints, which are seen as unnecessary or undesirable, especially one who ignores or even spurns accepted morals and forms of behavior sanctioned by the larger society. The philosophy gained new-found adherents in the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, particularly in France and Britain. Notable among these were John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester, and the Marquis de Sade. ""Libertine" is defined today as "a dissolute person; usually a person who is morally unrestrained".[1] Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand wrote that Joseph Bonaparte "sought only life's pleasures and easy access to libertinism" while on the throne of Naples.[2]" That sounds like Jill, but I hardly believe any learning institution would subscribe to advancing a libertine philosophy. And then there's Jill's spiritual master: Marquis de Sade (2 June 1740 – 2 December 1814) (French pronunciation: [maʁki də sad] Audio) was a French aristocrat, revolutionary, politician and writer famous for his libertine sexuality and lifestyle. His works include novels, short stories, plays, dialogues, and political tracts; in his lifetime some were published under his own name, while others appeared anonymously and Sade denied being their author. He is best known for his erotic works, which combined philosophical discourse with pornography, depicting bizarre sexual fantasies with an emphasis on violence, criminality, and blasphemy against the Catholic Church. He was a proponent of extreme freedom, unrestrained by morality, religion or law.”

I rather like being thought of, by men anyway, as a Libertine. Being thought of that way lets me know that my actions and teachings are being understood and appreciated for their usefulness and not just as social constructs. In class I don’t espouse any beliefs. I just teach the methods available, their pleasures, risks and possible consequences making sure the students understand the safest way to use – or not use - the devices or perform the activity. And I do stress that assertive sexual tendencies should be carefully limited to personal social relationships since one does have to blend in to polite society.