Menstrual ballet-sex and body doubling

Posing for Morning Wood before menstrual ballet-sex

The Photo: Wearing tights over a thong-back leotard and a Reflexions flat spring diaphragm I’m CD2 and prepared for menstrual ballet-sex. I’m posing for a photo of Morning Wood’s latest pointe fetish, menstrual ballet-sex, with me in red satin Gaynor Mindens.

Morning Wood and red satin pointe shoes: Returning readers will recall that Marvin AKA Morning Wood, my former psychiatrist and sometime lover, has a delusion that when I wear his dead wife Jenna’s Bloch Alpha S0104 pointes I become her. Given that the supply of Bloch Alpha shoes she had is finite I’ve been trying to guide his fetish toward a pointe maker that suits me better. Shoes that are more comfortable and that last longer, Gaynor Minden, not that Jenna’s shoes don’t fit me amazingly well considering. I think absence has made Marvin much more ardent this past weekend even though my wards who are at school at Cambridge report that he has been seen with Grad school girls on his arm. But then who am I to begrudge him sexual release when I crave intimate companionship as well while we are away from each other.

I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t care, I do and I just want him to be safe. That’s why I’ve had the Grad school students he is being intimate with checked out to make certain they are on LARC which they are, hormonal IUDs in the cases of all three girls, and are free of STIs. It wouldn’t do his career any good to have him impregnate a student lover, not that wouldn’t give his ego a huge boost, briefly. I’m just protecting what’s mine. I want to give him a bit of slack on his psychological penis leash not castrate him. I think his being away at Cambridge is working since when we are together he talks openly about how tight I am – no one else has been able to give him Pompoir – and the other women just provide him relief, not that he isn’t kind and considerate with them.

Since Nikolai was dancing in Romeo and Juliet this past weekend at the ROH Marvin, now a Cambridge Don (at least for this year) came down from Cambridge to keep me company for the first several days while I’m menstrual as I tend to become sexually insatiable then and need a man or men who enjoy menstrual sex. Nikolai understands and I’ve let him know that it’s perfectly all right to bring home one of his ballet Odalisques for sexual release and I’ve had a suite opened at Blackthorn House for his use while Marvin is with me. I know all his Odalisques who returning readers will recall I hand picked for him so when he gets home from the theater, Marvin and I are often up, we will unwind together before we all go to bed.

Since we have been together Marvin has become an ardent connoisseur of menstrual sex as his wife would never have sex with him while she was menstrual so he is extremely ardent during my periods. My circle know that when I wear red pointes I’m menstrual and that idiosyncrasy has trained Marvin when in my presence to become erect and anxious to give me orgasms to relieve my cramps and leave me draining his liquefied semen mixed with menstrual discharge. Actually, he doesn’t really need my pointes color code to tell as he has a keen sense of smell and could tell from my pheromones – not my pelvic musk – when I’m menstrual and wearing a Diva cup as well as when I’m fertile.

Diaphragms for flow control: Depending where I am in my menses I will wear a Reflexions on light days and a Milex Omniflex on heavy days for flow control during menstrual sex when I’m not on thick dark colored towels on my bed or in the shower. This past weekend I was CD 1 and 2 so I wore a Reflexions which allowed Morning Wood to stretch it deep into my anterior fornix which is always a thrill for us both. Even so regardless of how strong the seal is the rim moves around a bit which will leave a sheen of blood on the vaginal walls which transfers to a lover’s penis.  Of course having menstrual ballet-sex while wearing tights is almost certain to get blood on them, but I wear nylon ones for those encounters and try to avoid dripping on them. If I can get to the toilet to kegel out his load in the 20 minutes or so before it liquefies and starts flowing out of me I can sometimes prevent getting blood on them at all.

Fitting actresses for diaphragms: Taryn’s video production company which specializes in porn videos is ramping up to produce a full length film about the Escort service, somewhat like what was done for classical ballet in the 2010 film Black Swan which starred Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. It is to be set in the mid 50s when use of the diaphragm was at the peak of its popularity in the UK. There will be no escorts losing their minds thinking that they are morphing into birds, but a lot of diaphragm fitting and insertion/ removal scenes, abortions and vanillas penile-vaginal intercourse as well as a great deal of fetish sex in pointe-shoes and ballet-boots.   

There will be body doubles in sex scenes for well known actresses if they don’t want to actually have PVI on camera, which I’m told they don’t. Tanaquil, a legendary Courtesan in her day, who is now Taryn’s Procuress, is producing and directing the film has asked me to be the body double for the lead actress since I’m her size with no tats or piercing and I can easily perform ballet-sex and give her A-list leading man Pompoir which none of the other body doubles can. Tanaquil wants to get the actor’s reaction to having his penis milked while he is fully erect, inserted and stationary inside me. He is currently unmarried (recently divorced from his third wife) so milking the penis of this gorgeous and available hunk will be every woman’s fantasy. He is in his early 40s and is supposedly marvelous in bed. However, I’m thinking of recommending he take a performance enhancer so he is less likely to go limp at an inopportune moment since I’m told he has never fucked a woman on camera before. During production of a film I mean.

The A-list actress I’m doubling can hardly stand in pointe-shoes though she supposedly took pointe when she was in high school and has been training for the role for six months. She is somewhat better in ballet-boots as she can stride with considerable confidence, but even with electrolyte and vitamin therapy her calves cramp after she stands in them for a few minutes. She is best while posing sitting putting on or taking off fetish footwear or standing briefly looking fetching while delivering her lines. So, it sounds as though I’m going to get a good bit of screen time. I’m to be listed in the credits so any one who is interested will know who was fucking the male star on cam.

The psychology of a pointe-shoe fetish

Trolling for penis en pointe in Bloch Alphas with my ribbons untied

The photo: Teasing Morning Wood; in sous-sus sans ribbons with my toes packed in the blocks of an old pair of Jenna 1’s 4 ½ xxx Bloch Alpha, SO104 pointes. Marvin gets so aroused watching me put on pointe shoes especially Jenna’s old ones. 

Marvin and “Goodbye sex”: Its good to get back to what passes for my ‘normal’ routine after being at Location Z to celebrate the Vernal Equinox on the day we had a nearly total eclipse of the sun and then six days later being in the congregation at the reburial of Richard III in Leicester cathedral. It isn’t every girl who gets groped to a clitoral orgasm while listening to the Archbishop of Canterbury’s remarks before Richard III was lowered into what one hopes is his final resting place after 530 years.

Our morning ritual is that he showers then comes to watch while I break in new Freeds pointes; sewing on the ribbons and elastics, rasping the soles and softening the blocks. Before we have breakfast I always put on a pair of Jenna’s Alphas for him. In size 4 ½ xxx they are a half size too small for me to perform in and tight enough that even w/o the ribbons tied they won’t slip off my heels if I’m not wearing tights. That way I can seduce him into a quick “Goodbyes-sex” encounter and he leaves for work sexually sated. I like to quickly insert a menstrual cup after he withdraws to collect his semen as it liquefies and drains into the cup while we are having breakfast. Then I carefully pull out the cup filled with our coital discharge and hand it to him. He always savors the scent before drinking the contents with the last of his coffee. He is always so appreciative of what I do for him!

Marvin and the significance of untied pointe ribbons: Because I’m dominant and refuse to let Marvin untie my pointe ribbons, even when I’m going to take my shoes off to ice my feet he is fixated on me walking around en pointe with the ribbons untied. I won’t let any man untie my ribbons because I think letting him do that would signify my giving myself to him spiritually which I’m not yet ready to do so Marvin bides his time and watches me carefully when I’m preparing new pointes for class and performances.

He thinks my walking around on my toes with the ribbons untied makes me extremely sexually desirable and vulnerable which he finds wildly erotic. He’s right, to the extent that with untied ribbons I can’t really run in them nor use them as weapons as they could be easily pulled off my feet by an attacker. He hates me walking around in the studio with untied ribbons when other men are present since he believes I’m giving off a subliminal message that I’m interested in a sexual encounter. But a little jealousy can add intensity to a lover’s performance so it’s not all bad. However, its standard practice for dancers to walk around in new shoes with the ribbons untied, but we do have to be careful not to trip ourselves on the ribbon ends. Men! It’s amazing what erotic fantasies the lovesick or jealous male mind can create with untied ribbons trailing from a dancer’s pointes as she prepares for her work day.

A psychological penis leash: After the first few days Marvin and I spent together (with me as Jenna) I quickly picked up on his erotic fascination with my untied pointe ribbons. As I mentioned before he thinks me walking around en pointe with the ribbons untied makes me incredibly sexually desirable so by doing that I’m inviting a sexual encounter.  Of course since I know his weakness for untied ribbons he’s right, especially during the week I am fertile and very sexually needy in the mornings. I always use the untied ribbons as foreplay to mind-fuck him into agreeing to something I want to do while he is distracted intent on getting into my panties. 

Relic and talisman conservation: I don’t wear Jenna’s original Alpha pointes to dance in as they are now talismans of the eroticism that nearly consumes Marvin when I wear them. They are almost holy relics to Marvin so I wear them carefully making sure only to wear them to arouse him to take me for special occasions which we celebrate with sex and for a “goodbye encounter” before we part for the day.  Some couples kiss before they part with us it’s a bit more intimate, but he can be very quick and an orgasm he gives me during goodbye sex is always unbelievably intense.

Used that way Jenna’s’ Blochs are a potent symbol of her - and now my - femininity “an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace” I can use to convince him to see things my way when we disagree.

Thrust therapy:  In Marvin’s psychiatric practice he specializes in performing artists with sexual problems. Things like a female ballet dancer’s fear of men after her rape or a male dancers fear of women, if you can imagine that, and there seem to be quite a few who if not scared of women are  very uncomfortable handling the female body. You can imagine what a problem that must be for a young gorgeous virile heterosexual man to have. Marvin says he thinks its caused in men from the sexual repression of upper class and some middle class males in all-male schools and Mothers of aristocrat and upper class daughters putting them on the pill rather than allowing them to experience the natural cycle of their hormones with a copper IUD.

Whatever the reason there seems to be a much greater need for sexual repression therapy here than in the U.S. and what works best over time is what I call “Thrust therapy” where the male is the thruster and the female (physical therapist) is the thrustee in repeated gentle acts of sexual intercourse. 

The need for Thrust therapy seems to be grater for men than women so Marvin has been able to accommodate his women patients needing it himself while referring his male patients to me, introducing me as his sexual therapist and dressed in ballet practice clothes – tights over a thong-back leo and pointe-shoes - so the patient can see and handle my body at the start of our session. I use a small soundproof therapy room at Marvin’s clinic with a bed and mirrored wall with a barre attached. With a receptive male patient just a few forty-five minute thrust therapy sessions is all it takes for me to ease a patient’s mind that even the most experienced women won’t hurt him physically though some of us who are ballet dancers, are amazingly tight and can verbally cut a man to shreds with our tongues if sufficiently provoked.

Someone like Us, SLU: Word gets around amazingly quickly what with social media and Marvin’s practice is getting calls from young aristocrat women who want to improve their pelvic skills. They don’t want Thrust therapy they want to work with a female pelvic trainer to learn the most effective ways to use Ben Wa balls and dildos to strengthen their pelvic muscles. In that case they have to go through the clinic and have STI panels run before they can book sessions with me. I know Ashley, Jack, Lord Sandbach’s fiancée, and Maya, the Russian ballerina and former mistress of Jack’s father, the Duke of M**** who’s abortion I arranged, as well as my good friend Tanaquil the French procuress and mistress to a French Prince, have been spreading the word about my expertise as a trainer and the go-to girl for guidance in increasing pelvic skills.  Nor does it hurt – because the aristocracy can stil be quite snobbish - to be known to have succeeded to an ancient hereditary title of my own not from marrying a man, something that most of them seem to envy me for which in their view makes me approachable on their social level as “she is someone like us”.   

British Summer Time: The clocks in the UK were all set forward an hour on Sunday (March 29, 2015) to the British version of Daylight Saving Time in the U.S. So now the UK is again 5 hours ahead of the U.S.

My wards return to Las Vegas: Bea, Willow and the Swan Twins will be returning to Vegas aboard Limnaea II with Anya on Thursday April 2^nd as UNLV spring break ends on the 4^th and classes resume on the 6^th. They have had a wonderful time and all are safe, STI free and no pregnancies despite the number of unprotected sex partners they each had. Of course that’s what we expected as they all have stringless copper bead GyneFix IUDs implanted.  It’s a tribute to the efficacy of the GyneFix and the biocide in DiveGel+.

 

Mind-fucking Marvin

A pair of Jenna’s Bloch Alpha pointes which fit me perfectly when I’m fertile

The Photo: A pair of Jenna’s Bloch’s Alpha, style SO104, pointes. It’s one of Marvin’s fave pics of Janna’s toe-shoes so returning readers are likely to see it again from time to time. Wearing her pointe shoes when we are together and especially during sex is instrumental in allowing me to bend my psychotherapist to my will by reinforcing his delusion that I am the embodiment of his dead wife. As I work through her pairs of Alphas I’m slowly adding new pairs as at some point hers will be wearing out though I take good care of them and reharden the blocks and am gentle with the shanks. The Chi from all the sex she had with Marvin and other men while wearing them is available to me while I’m wearing them.  

Therapy with Aphrodite and Morning wood: Marvin, my current lover and psychotherapist, is helping me better understand and adapt to my role as a priestess of the late Neolithic (4,000 BCE or perhaps earlier) Greek Goddess Aphrodite and how she and therefore I came to be celebrating cosmological events in a miserably cold wet mountaintop temple in Scotland. As my therapist he is stressing my limitations, or rather what limitations I should impose, on the powers given me so as not to warp the time space continuum any more than it already was when the powers of a Priestess of Aphrodite were given to me in the temple of Venus in the undercroft of Crag Abbey.

I have been cautioned to use my powers only to enhance sexuality and intimate relations between the sexes within my sphere and not for profit or personal advancement which could have unintended consequences. There are so many things I would like to do; end hunger and bring about world peace, but the Goddess and Marvin have both cautioned me against such overreaching. 

The story of Aphrodite, later known as Venus by the Romans, was first set down by the Greek poets Homer and Hesiod. Homer, the author of the Iliad and the Odyssey, is revered as the greatest of the Greek epic poets and is thought to have been Born around 8th - 9th century B.C. Hesiod is generally thought by scholars to have been active some time later between 750 and 650 BC. The two accounts of Aphrodite’s birth are very different.

In Homer’s telling Aphrodite was the daughter of Zeus and Dione and the wife of Hephaestus to whom she was not a faithful wife representing sexual passion rather than the bond of marriage. Hesiod based his story of her birth on the supposed derivation of her name from ‘aphros’ (foam) by which she emerged fully formed from the sea at Paphos in Cyprus or on Cythera. For when Cronos had cut off the genitals of his father Uranus, he threw them into the sea; foam gathered around them and they were transformed into a woman. I like to think Hesiod was correct because Aphrodite the goddess of passion seems more likely to derive her raging libido from the genetic material from which she was created. Having a raging libido myself I think Hesiod’s version is a wonderful story!

Fetish sex with my therapist: This past week I was fertile and very needy for male intimate attention. I know it’s a conflict of interest for Marvin to be having sex with a patient, but he has such an amazing way about him and can convincingly explain how being physically intimate with me will help us both to resolve my insecurities. I know he just wants to spend himself in a deep, hot, wet and extremely tight vagina, but to him I’m not just any tight deep vagina.  I am physically identical to his dead wife Jenna, so I let him think I’m fooled by his reasoning, but it’s really his delusion that I’m Jenna when I’m with him that makes him easy to manipulate. He’s considerate and gives me my pleasure first and I love draining his thick cream after we’re finished. For free therapy sessions and marvelous sex with a great looking and considerate man how can a girl go wrong? And so I give him the fetish sex he craves taking me in as many positions as he wants while I’m wearing a pair of Jenna’s Bloch Alpha pointe shoes.

Sex in Bloch Alphas: Marvin is particularly fond of ballet-sex which as returning readers will recall is the woman being entered from behind while sur les pointes a la seconds bent over holding on to a barre, table or chair, and in Marvin’s case with me wearing a pair of his dead wife’s SO104s. He likes me to wear a pair of Alphas that I’ve just taken class and sweated in so the paste in the blocks is melted and fragrant and the leather and satin are moist so the shoes give off a bouquet of scents that he identifies with Jenna. In order to take full advantage of the scent of sweaty pointes while I’m wearing them he takes me on my back with my legs folded at the hips so I’m in a hairpin with my feet and sweaty shoes on either side of my head while he mounts me in missionary.

That way he can keep his weight on his elbows while gripping the blocks of my pointes with his hands holding my feet pointes and me in place beneath him as he rams his glans into my anterior fornix stretching the latex membrane of my Reflexions so it simultaneously pushes up on my uterus while squeezing his glans in the tightly stretched rubber he forces into my anterior fornix with every powerful thrust. That’s a duality we both dearly love!

Ben Wa balls and condoms: Jenna didn’t like giving him head and while I’m more amenable to doing it I’d much rather him fill my vagina with semen than me swallowing it. I think I can do so much more for a man with his penis in my vagina rather than my mouth. And I do have a much tighter vaginal grip than Jenna which I discovered when Marvin and I first became intimate.

He wanted to wear a condom so he would be sure not to get me pregnant even though I was wearing an Oves cap or a diaphragm. I rarely have sex with men wearing condoms as I require partners to have negative full STI panels and the men leave contraception to me. What we found with Marvin in a condom is that though he stayed wonderfully hard the condoms almost always come off inside me which he said never happened when Jenna was dancing and wanted to be certain she didn’t get pregnant during the SF Ballet’s season.

The condoms we use – we don’t use them any more for contraception, just for rubberiest play, but more about that later – are usually Japanese super sheer latex of the correct size and rolled on correctly, but even when relaxed my grip is so tight that his pre-cum is squeezed out of the reservoir tip and down around his glans and shaft so after a few minutes he slides right out leaving the condom inside me and a textured condom comes off even faster! Using an intimate silicone lube and latex diaphragm and condom reduces the likelihood of latex grab between the condom and diaphragm and prevents micro-tears in my vaginal walls from friction, but adds no additional time before he slips out. In thinking about it I’ve decided that the condoms coming off is an unanticipated side effect of strengthening my vaginal grip by training with Ben Wa balls because until I started my Ben Wa training regimen several years ago the only time a man slipped out of a condom while with me was when he went flaccid.  

The tease, the altar ego and an ANR

Teasing Marvin in a pair of my old Gaynors

The photo: Me introducing “Morning Wood” to Gaynor Minden pointes teasing him with the ribbons – tying my feet into my shoes which he thinks of as ‘ballet bondage’ - before our first ballet-sex encounter with me wearing them. He understands as few other men have how important wearing pointes is for me as they boost my confidence exponentially.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder): After watching Brad switch, change personalities, from his vanilla in-charge self when he is the professional psychiatrist helping me understand my new role as a sexual libertine, to his kinky identity when he is a asexually assertive submissive in my thrall when I am wearing Jenna’s things I’ve concluded that he has at least two distinct personalities; the eminent psychiatrist and the love-sick sexually assertive submissive.

Marvin “Morning” Wood: For a link to an article about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) article click: HERE.   This article says that multiple personalities occur from some childhood trauma from which the individual is trying to protect him or her self. Nothing that Brad has told me about his childhood indicates that so perhaps he is just good at hiding it. However, I think his marvelously studly sexual  submissive identity, Marvin “Morning” Wood, began appearing shortly after his marriage to Jenna (I’ve seen letters addressed to her from Marvin Wood when he traveled so she knew of his alter ego’s obsession with her in pointe shoes) as he craved her approval for his masculinity. From what he’s said I think the ‘Morning Wood’ persona was developed fully shortly after her death as he began the search for her replacement. For the time being he seems to have settled on me and he is thoughtful and affectionate and a magnificent lover as his fetish personality suggests, and, during a sexual encounter with me as Jenna he takes directions wonderfully. I love it that when we are out together with me as Jenna he likes me to call him ‘MW’ or Woody.

He named his alter ego appropriately as I’ve never seen a harder or more ready man when he wakes and he usually needs to get off several times before his penis wilts. I’ve begun having a casino car pick me up at his place when I sleep over because some of the best sex with him is in the mornings, so I need time after I shower to get myself together before leading an early morning class at the casino. I don’t think he is violent or that I’m in any danger, but I believe he wouldn’t mind if I was able to give him such an intense sexual encounter that it killed him. I think I mentioned earlier that sometimes before we have sex he is so needy he seems suicidal.

Jenna, Marvin and pointe shoes: Brad’s alter ego Marvin was so needy when I returned from Scotland! I‘ve decided to try and gradually expand his sexual experiences with me as ‘Jenna’. And because he is so into pointe shoes I think I stand the best chance of getting him accepting new things in that area of his fixation since he relied on her to show him what she liked which influenced him. Not that he is getting tired of Jenna in Bloch Alpha pointes he still lusts for her in them, but eventually her supply of Alpha shoes will be used up so this is a good time to ease and tease him into what I hope will be a strong fascination with GMs.

I’ve already begun to limit the amount of ballet-sex I’m offering him while wearing Alphas, explaining that I’ve just found Gaynor Minden shoes which are more comfy while lasting longer. He’s not concerned about the cost of her shoes, but he does appreciate her making good economic choices. So while he was cautious about loving her in GM pointes as much as in Alphas after the first several ballet-sex encounters with me on my toes in Gaynors he became a believer, because Jenna was a believer in them.

An adult nursing relationship (ANR):  I found Marvin loves breast milk. I had meant to pump my breasts before I went to Brad’s, but didn’t have time so I took the pump along thinking he might be interested in seeing me pump and perhaps would even want a taste. When I’d made the change to Jenna and unzipped the bag holding my Medela he wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I was going to pump my breasts as they were full (32 B/C cups when they are engorged) and I needed to be milked. I was about to offer him a meal at my breasts when he hung his head and asked quietly if he could please breast feed. I was amazed! It turned out that Jenna had needed all her output for their son and then as she started to wean him she refused Marvin’s request to breast feed because she was trying to stop lactating as she began getting her body back in dancing shape again.  That I hadn’t asked him was in keeping with Jenna’s earlier behavior, but when I agreed and put my pump away he was overjoyed and we lay on the couch in his living room with me on a thick soft towel to catch any nipple leakage when he hungrily latched on switching his sucking between breasts until he had emptied them.  

So an ANR is a huge plus in my favor in my role as Jenna as he is now more invested than ever in the delusion that I’m Jenna and with him developing an adult nursing relationship with me it should make my control of him more profound.  I am going to have to watch the quantity that he is taking because I don’t want my breasts to increase in size. Returning readers may remember that I’m taking meds to limit my milk supply so I don’t lose my 32B cup size and therefore my Balanchine figure. But lactating burns calories so I can eat just about anything I want and with my ballet training regimen, frequent intense sexual activity and being gently milked routinely my weight is stable at 105 lbs.

Reality chick

A pair of Jenna’s old Bloch Alpha shoes damp from ballet-sex

The Photo: A pair of Brad’s dead wife Jenna’s pointes I wear during his continuing sexual fantasy where he is convinced he’s having sex with his wife. He is delusional, believing that by me wearing her pointe shoes I become Jenna in the flesh and must wear one of her 70mm Milex Omniflex silicone diaphragms, which is two sizes too small for me, to protect her cervix.

An Alpha male: In the real world when Jenna died with their infant son in an auto accident eighteen months ago she was newly pregnant. Brad doesn’t know as the body was too badly burned for an autopsy and I haven’t told him as I think it would add to his grief. I only learned of her pregnancy from her Chi in her shoes from which I can tell a great deal about the former owner.

Brad is insistent that since I look enough like her - I could be Jenna’s identical twin - I wear her Bloch Alpha pointes as she was a ballet dancer and he thinks me wearing them helps in the transubstantiation process. He is at least partially correct because I use the traces of her Chi to help me be more authentic in my role as Jenna. When I’m dressed in her things we do look amazingly similar and with her scent and her mannerisms from videos I am a very convincing Jenna and Brad doesn’t need convincing. I think of myself as an actress in a role, a ‘Reality Chick’, helping a grieving husband find release to ease him through an emotional tragedy.  

He has this fascination with ballet-sex with me in her Alpha pointes, partially I think because he got so little of it. Perhaps that was because Alpha pointes are an advanced dancers shoe and almost impossible to relax in when en pointe so being taken on her toes in them was probably not fun for her. While I’m new to the Alpha shoe I think I’m adjusting well to ballet-sex in it. It’s not nearly as comfy and supportive as hard shanked Gaynor Minden shoes, but in Alpha’s favor is that the 4 ½ xxx is such a good fit that my toes go numb when I’m en pointe so with toe pads thrust-drop hasn’t been the problem I thought it might be though my platforms are lifted several inches off the floor during the last few thrusts before he comes. The Alpha style also appeals to the masochist in me not to mention the narcissist as they make my feet and legs look beautiful. Too, there is risk involved as they can be a dangerous shoe for high arched dancers to wear and that danger appeals to my sense of adventure.

After being taken several times while sur les pointes a la seconde while bent over holding on to the barre I Kegel his load into a puffs tissue and he carries me to bed. I sit on the bed and take off my sweat soaked Alphas and put them in a Ziploc bag so they retain the moisture and scent then give them to him to smell and fondle the next day. Then he sucks and tongues the toe-cheese from between my toes and I snuggle into his arms. It’s almost as if he’s been drugged how quickly he falls into a deep sleep. When he’s asleep I get up, shower and leave for the evening. When we meet the next day I spray the pair I gave Brad to fondle with a good anti-fungal spray and put them on the rack with the other shoes to dry.

Alphas in clubs: For a woman who can pull it off clubbing in Alpha pointes has advantages. Wearing Alphas in a fetish club establishes ones bona fides as an accomplished fetishist if you can walk around easily and confidently en pointe in them and stay on your toes the full time you are standing. Clean satin heels after a nights clubbing is a major indicator of the strength of the woman’s feet if she is in Alpha pointes.  Mincing around in them establishes the wearer as a pretender so almost no one tries as the discomfort is too great for experienced dancers and amateurs are rightly concerned about injury.  In vanilla clubs wearing pointes at all is extremely rare and then only by a professional dancer with strong feet. When Brad takes me dancing at a vanilla club when we take to the floor everyone else stops and watches us. I tease him that we should charge for entertaining. Satin trimmed off the platforms and darned platform edges ensure good traction on the slipperiest floors.

Toe-chicks: While I’m on the subject of Alphas for ballet-sex my wards in their after school jobs as assistant trainers working with male escort candidates are known as the toe-chicks because they are the only trainers who wear pointe shoes. Other trainers wear five inch stripper heels for ballet-sex which is a good approximation, but not the real thing because the pelvic muscles only develop maximum grip when the entire foot and leg is extended so they don’t give a male candidate the full-ballet-sex experience. As a consequence my girls are in demand as trainers.

I’ve mentioned before putting both Bea and Willow in Bloch Alphas. Willow can wear them marvelously well, but isn’t as fascinated with them as Bea and still performs in bespoke Freed Classics. Bea doesn’t want to take her Alpha pointes off and now takes class in them as well as wearing them when she is helping train escorts! Her combination of exuberance, energy and love of a challenge have her far more comfortable in Alphas than Willow and she is a favorite with the escort candidates she works with. The swan twins aren’t ready for Alphas and probably never will be. They are still in Freeds for ballet class and hard shanked Gaynors when working with their assigned escort trainees. They love the sex, but aren’t interested in the work required to be able to wear Alphas confidently and not hurt themselves.

Brad and Reflexions: I’m trying to move Brad away from Jenna’s 70mm Omniflex diaphragms because he is damaging his frenulum by under-thrusting them in missionary.  In my persona as Jenna I’m substituting a correctly fitting (for me) 80mm latex reflections while pointing out how much softer, stretcher and more natural the dome feels since it transfers body heat so much better than the silicone of an Omniflex. So far he does like the feeling, but I think his acceptance had a lot to do with the fact that ‘Jenna’ suggested it. I’m relieved I got him to accept Jenna wearing an 80mm Reflexions because I’ll need it for effective flood insurance when I teach him about dive-sex. My period will be starting tomorrow, Saturday. I have a Reflexions inserted now as I’m already spotting and I can’t wear Oves for flood protection while I’m menstrual.

Winter still: We had a taste of early Spring here this past Wednesday 4/2 when the temps were in the mid 60s and there was snow again in the Spring Mts. So it was still good weather to wear latex catsuits to the clubs and private parties. Not so next week as the forecast is for the high 70s and low 80s, really sticky latex catsuit weather.

Seduction in Bloch Alphas

New Bloch Alpha pointes from Jenna’s last order

Bloch Alpha pointes for Bea: A few days ago I had the Bloch rep stop by when she was in the area. She was delighted to fit Willow and Bea and said in the past week there had been increased interest in the S0104 style from local dance shops in the area.  Curiously, Bea seems to be adjusting to the Alphas more quickly than Willow, but then Bea was keener to try a different style shoe and loves the fetish aspect of purely satin sheathed heels.  The ¾ outer soles light shanks have given her a challenge to increase her strength enough to stay over the blocks during ballet-sex and she is managing that amazingly well in so short a time, but then she is wearing one pair or another of them and on her toes in them most of the time. She so wants to be like Willow who she has taken as her role model!

Seduction in Bloch Alphas: I’m not the only one who is sexually arousing men while wearing Bloch S0104s. Willow is using hers for performing and while not as enamored of the shoes as Bea she is using them to her advantage to seduce her audiences with her gorgeous legs and feet with fabulous results. The men in the audiences are wild about her pointes especially the ones where her coitial discharge, a mixture of her arousal lube, DiveGel+ and semen, drip on them while she is curtseying during curtain calls. I think it’s so strange that men want pairs of a woman’s shoes that have another man’s semen on them, but perhaps they overlook that in order to have a pair damp with the woman’s sweat as well as her vaginal secretions with their distinctive musky scent.

She has turned out to be a heartbreaker. Men in her audiences routinely try to masturbate while she is performing but some actually have ejaculated while still zipped up and most prematurely ejaculate if they have it in hand.  Some men in her audiences have offered her large sums for used pairs of her Alphas, but with her trust fund she doesn’t need the cash. I’ve counseled her against selling or giving them away because once you start then every man no matter how tenuous the relationship wants a pair and all the bother isn’t worth it.

When using the Bloch Alpha for fetish wear the indicator of very strong feet – which is the only women who should be wearing them - is to have as little stage or studio grime on the heels as possible indicating that the wearer is on at least quarter-pointe when flat. Try that some time, not putting your heels on the floor for long intervals of time when standing but you aren’t on pointe.

Death rubber diaphragms and The Lorelei: Another source of death rubber diaphragms for me has become Adolph’s spa, The Lorelei. As I wrote in an earlier post our clinic fits Guests at the Lorelei with flat spring rim latex Reflexions diaphragms for flood insurance protection during dive-sex. When the vagina floods as it often does during underwater sex the hydraulics of a partner’s thrusts can force water, or far worse an air bubble, into his partner’s uterus where the water can cause PID or the air bubble could migrate into the bloodstream and cause blood clots in the lungs, a heart attack or stroke. 

Most of the guests at The Lorelei are using hormonal contraceptives or are menopausal so use of a diaphragm for contraception by guests isn’t its primary function, its flood control. So I fit them with two sizes, one that they can comfortable wear when not aroused if they want to desensitize a dry land encounter to lengthen it a bit. The other is one a size larger for flood control during underwater sex that they can only comfortably wear while aroused. The larger size makes it almost impossible for even a masochistic sadist partner to under-thrust the rim. I began wearing one size larger (an 85mm) myself double bagged over an Oves so not even Adolph who is the only man I know who has the skill, determination and loves penile pain enough to be able to routinely under-thrust and enjoy ejaculating in the dome of a Reflexions correctly sized for contraception, meaning it can be worn after IC for eight hours w/o causing the wearer discomfort and a UTI.

Death by misadventure: The size is on the outside of the dome of each Milex next to the rim and comparing the two it is easy to see one is larger, but so many guests wear the smaller one into the encounter pools it has to be intentional. And with the number of women guests and the number of acts of underwater sex there are inevitably individual tragedies many of them occurring to German or Austrian women from wealthy families or members of their circles who aspire to being like their idols.

Too, in more instances than you might imagine, the younger women are being channeled into risky behavior by their older female family members. The risky behavior supposedly proving (to interested males) that they are from warrior class families and so would make a good match for a suitable Aryan male looking for a female partner willing to take physical risks for sexual thrills.  The Lorelei had an instance of that several weeks ago when an aunt brought her sixteen and seventeen y/o nieces to the spa for their initial ballet-sex and dive-sex encounters. Both girls had Nexplanon implants and both took 70mm for conventional fitting and/75mm Reflexions for flood insurance.

I fit the aunt with Reflexions in my sizes 80 and 85mm. The nieces followed my instructions and enjoyed having their brains fucked out repeatedly by Pirate’s escort divers. The aunt went into the encounter pool wearing the smaller size after instructing her escort to under-thrust the rim. She was menstrual and very aroused. During foreplay he had blown air into her vagina. He under-thrust the rim and compressed air got in the dome. When they surfaced it expanded, entered her uterus, got into her bloodstream and she had a massive heart attack during sex while floating on the surface.  I pulled the 80mm Reflexions from her vagina myself - to add to my collection of death rubber diaphragms - and inserted a new 80mm so the ME would see the proper size. The ME is used to seeing risky sex end that way and all the proper wavers had been signed holding the Business and its employees blameless for her death by misadventure.

Brad, Jenna, and the Succubus: Brad has begun to work out with a personal trainer, is taking energy supplements and as I mentioned in an earlier post he’s now on testosterone and performance enhancing meds. When I’m costumed in Jenna’s clothes, pointes and with her Milex 70mm Omniflex diaphragm inserted he is convinced I’m Jenna and I can easily sexually exhaust him regardless of how much stamina he has at the beginning of our encounter. Immediately afterward he falls into a deep sleep for hours.

It’s fortunate that I’ll be in Scotland for the next week or so which should give him time for at least a partial recovery before I return and Jenna’s Succubus continues to suck him dry. I think he is so into this Jenna fantasy he will eventually commit suicide so he can be with her.

Sex with a Succubus - the dead wife fantasy

Jenna’s Bloch Alpha S0104 ¾ outer sole pointes

The Photo: My New psychiatrist’s, dead wife, Jenna’s, size 4 ½ Bloch pointes she wore throughout her cycle except when menstrual. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post when menstrual she wore a 5 ½ in Bloch Alphas.

The dead wife fantasy: In my experience some virile men after losing a mate to death seek solace in fantasy sex and it happens more than you might think. But they often feel guilty about cheating on the memory of their mate. Brad’s wife had been a ballet dancer with the San Francisco Ballet when they met and married while he was in med school. He has photos of her in practice clothes and costumes in his condo and she was a lovely 27 y/o with a Balanchine body (long legs and neck, short trunk, small head and breasts and relatively big feet) when she died. He has repeatedly told me how much I look like her and from the photos of her in his home I could be her identical twin.

It turns out that beautiful Brad has a very active imagination and one of his fantasies is that I’m his dead wife and when we are alone he calls me Jenna. He has given me permission to use her dressing room and bathroom in their Condo when I share his bed. And I’m encouraged if not required to wear her clothes, jewelry and perfume. Nothing in her suite had been touched, except to be dusted and her last dirty laundry was still in her hamper with her scent still on it. I went through her lingerie drawers and closets and I have very similar tastes to hers. She had nursing bras and was still breast feeding when she died so we have that in common too. And just like me she also wore LilyPadz breast pads to help with leaking nipples. 

I meet him at his Condo for our sexual and psychotherapy sessions. Jenna’s small studio with a Marley floor, barre and mirrored wall was converted from a bedroom and can be reached through a connecting door from her dressing room.  I change into her practice clothes which fit me wonderfully well, empty my bowels and bladder, insert one of her Omniflex diaphragms and my sports plug and wear her scent. I come out of her dressing room into the studio where he is waiting for me and only then put on my pointes (Jenna’s Bloch Alphas) where he can watch. All during these sessions he calls me Jenna. After a 20 minute warm-up I change into her stripping costume and back in the studio put on Beautiful Dreamer which was one of Jenna’s favorites. The routine is about 3.5 minutes long and leaves me wearing only my Alpha pointes and plug.

I had intended to wear my own pointes as she wore Bloch in a slightly smaller size and I like hard shanked Gaynors when I’m having sex on my toes since then I don’t have to worry about proper technique and can put my weight on my heels and enjoy being made love to and concentrate on timing my orgasm with my partner’s which is always special being hurled into ecstasy simultaneously. But all that changed, at least while I’m Jenna and recently when I’ve gone clubbing with Brad while dressed in her things. When I tried on her Bloch Alphas I found that I love how they fit and with the ¾ outsole how well they display my high arches! I do just a tiny glamour charm – it’s easy to do with today’s cosmetics - so to him my face and body look and feel and my voice sounds exactly like Jenna’s. When I do that he is in my power and I can do anything I want with him or to him.

His penis is massive! It's wonderfully hard and dripping pre-ejaculate when I finish stripping down to my pointes and plug. He is so ready to take me!  I let him back me against the barre, remove my sports plug and slip it into my mouth as I fondle his testicles all snugged tight against his pubic bone with one hand and caress his nipples with the other while I suck my own secretions off my sports plug before I turn, to face the barre, go on pointe in second position, bend over and grip the barre with both hands and band over and relax my pelvic muscles as much as possible while on my toes so he can enter me. Jenna was one of the few classical dancers who had started wearing plugs to intensify male interest (she was fitted at Gepettos, I checked, and she bought it 6 months before she was killed) so I wonder how faithful Jenna may have been. But I’m certainly not going to mention that to Brad. I’m using my own sports plug as each is custom made to fit the wearer’s pelvic anatomy. Sucking on my sports plug muffles my screams if he rams my cervix tip to tip.

Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex: I’ve written about this before but it bears repeating as there are readers of this blog who try to imitate my use of footwear, often to their sorrow after injuring themselves. Wearing Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex should not be attempted by inexperienced women. Alpha pointes are for women very experienced in pointework advanced pre-professional students or at the professional level and then only by ones with very strong feet. Brad so wants me to wear her shoes when I’m on my toes while we make love, I was skeptical, but I’m glad I agreed to try as I love wearing her shoes! She had almost finished preparing a new order of shoes with ribbons and elastics so she has almost two dozen pairs. Many have already been broken in and are ready to go.

She had lost her baby weight and regained her stamina, I can tell from the level of her Chi, so she was planning a return to performing in the near future when she died though from her aura I can tell she hadn’t told Brad she was returning to performing professionally again. I’m so entheuastic about the Alpha style I’m going to selectively put some of my wards and women escort trainees in Alphas to increase the difficulty of their training. Both Bea and Willow have Giselle feet and strong arches and Bea could use the additional challenge so I’m going to introduce both of them to the Alpha style which I think they will like.

Channeling a ghost: I wear the same scents she wore; vanilla, Chanel #5 and Shalimar. I use the heavy spicy scent sparingly mixed with my fertile musk and dab it on my pulse points a combination that ensnares men from the slightest whiff.  Her tights and leotards fit me perfectly and she had quite a few thong-back leos for practice and to play in w/o tights or with tights over her TB leo for quick access just like I do! It is scary how seemingly alike we are! It’s as though she has gone away for the weekend and I’m just taking her place temporarily. Thought of like that everything seems almost normal for a new white hot infatuation. Over time however while the intensity of Brad’s obsession has only increased my need to test his stamina and exhaust him while I’m channeling Jenna has become troubling.

When we’re alone at his place he has me dress in her clothes. Often he wants me barelegged in a thong back long sleeve turtleneck leotard and Alpha pointes as he conducts my therapy session. In her clothes and with her Milex inserted I can feel her presence guiding me and telling me the little things she did that enchanted him so, like forcing her tongue under his foreskin to caress his glans before he becomes aroused and massively erect. He is so into that fantasy when I’m kneeling between his legs with my tongue sheathed by his foreskin as I gently caress his testicles! I’m sure that my being a ballet dancer as well as a sexuality expert was why he approached me to work with him in his study of hypersexuality. He was taught by the Psychiatrist I helped years ago when he was studying habitual sexual offenders and I’m certain my name and contribution to that study came up.  

Even at my age I can easily pass for being in my very early 30s so physically there is very little difference between the in-shape 27 y/o in the photos and me as an in-shape and very well preserved 43 y/o classical ballet dancer. Except that I’m much tighter than she ever was! I was thrilled to hear that! I don’t think he intended to tell me, but it sort of slipped out between gasps the first time I ripple gripped him. When we first met I immediately sensed he was hoping for an intimate relationship as well as an assistant since he kept telling me how much I look like her. I know I’m repeating myself, but he just tells me that over and over! He says he knows he can’t bring her back, but wants so badly to relive some of their most intense times together. However, there is a much darker side to Brad’s fantasy with me being Jenna.

Jenna as a Succubus: From Wikipedia: “A succubus is a female demon or supernatural entity in folklore (traced back to medieval legend) that appears in dreams and takes the form of a human woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual activity. The male counterpart is the incubus. Religious traditions hold that repeated sexual activity with a succubus may result in the deterioration of health or even death.

In modern fictional representations, a succubus may or may not appear in dreams and is often depicted as a highly attractive seductress or enchantress; whereas, in the past, succubi were generally depicted as frightening and demonic.”

The sex is so intense for us both that in the last few days, as I’ve spent more time as Jenna, I’ve begun to see signs of him physically weakening. He is now on Cialis and topical testosterone, which are helping his stamina to some extent. I’m beginning to think Jenna ghost is not as benign as either of us once thought because when I’m channeling her I’m insatiable! Not that I mind for myself as I’m enjoying the experience. But when I’ve drained Brad and know I should let him rest her control over my libido has me keep going sucking out all his fluids and keeping him erect for hours at a time until he is bordering on Priapism except that I’m continuously stimulating him and his penis is so sore, but neither of us want to stop. When I’m, or is it Jenna who is eventually sated Jenna aura fades and Brad will collapse and fall into a deep sleep of twelve to sixteen hours, which has played havoc his practice of psychiatry.

 

 

 

The ultimate fetish pointe-shoe

The ultimate fetish pointe-shoe: the Bloch Alpha (S0104) ¾ outsole pointe.

The Photo: The Bloch Alpha (S0104) ¾ outsole pointe. They show off a woman’s high arches wonderfully and guys seem to like the heels totally sheathed in satin. These are my menstrual shoes a bit larger that the ones I wear during the rest of my cycle.  The Alpha S0104 should only be worn by experienced dancers, but that hasn’t stopped wannabes buying them from their LDS after I recently began wearing mine to the clubs in town. If that continues the sports Orthropods should be busy with ankle and foot injuries. I thought I’d post this shot as men always seem to appreciate seeing me with my legs in the air.

The Bloch Alpha as a fetish pointe-shoe: Not only are pointe-shoes more physically and technically difficult to wear than ballet-boots, but the Bloch Alpha is (in my opinion) the most difficult pointe-shoe to train, perform and play in. Since I’ve been wearing Alphas to the foot-fetish venues at Naughty Pleasures there has been a spike in interest in Bloch Alpha pointes by other women far less qualified to wear them than me.

Alpha pointes for ballet-sex: Wearing Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex [defined as: being penetrated from behind while bent over holding on to a barre, chair or table with the feet sur les pointes a la seconde] should not be attempted by inexperienced women. Alpha pointes are for women very experienced in pointework at the professional level and then only by ones with very strong feet. A friend suggested I try Alphas for ballet-sex. I was skeptical, but I’m glad I agreed to try them as I love wearing Alphas when being taken by a lusty man!

Returning readers know how much I like hard shanked Gaynors for ballet-sex since they allow me to not have to concentrate on staying over the blocks and let me enjoy my orgasms. And with platform pads Gaynors provide the best protection against injury from thrust-drop with a much taller partner. With Alpha’s very light full insoles - a 2.5MM red board just above the outsole cut while a full-length top layer of leather board is placed to protect the arch tendons and muscles - no appreciable weight can be put on the heels for any length of time though the insole will flex during thrust-drop. But putting weight on the heels (called ‘sitting in the shoes’) can crush the light insoles which provide no support.  However, Alpha pointes look and feel amazingly erotic!  Alpha runs 2 ½ sizes smaller than my street shoe size and the widths are narrower than in Freeds. The 4 ½, my regular size, are just a tiny bit snug on me with toe pads which I like in a pointe-shoe made of conventional materials because they will stretch slightly with wear. The 5 ½ size I wear when I’m on my period.

The eroticism of wearing Alpha pointes and knowing how they show off my high arches motivates me to both stay over the blocks and be able to relax enough to enjoy my orgasms something I’d found difficult to do before in shoes made of conventional materials. And, satin under the heels gives them an inverted heel ratio that stretches the Achilles tendons when flat, which is always a good thing. They are a bit different and harder to balance in when used to wearing full soled more heavily shanked pointes because of the lack of full supportive shanks, which I think is good in a training shoe. And the width is narrower, but the broad box is excellent for the Giselle/peasant foot with three toes of the same length which I have and I love the sueded insole liner.

Risks and rewards: There are risks for dancers like me with high arches when wearing Alpha with a ¾ outsole and basically no shanks as we typically have weak arches and need hard shanked shoes. However, I have very strong feet and more than thirty years on my toes so I feel quite safe while wearing them for ballet-sex even when with a partner where there is significant thrust-drop. That’s because as tight as the shoes are my toes are numb by the time I warm up and he gets his rhythm going. I just need to be sure my nails are cut close so I don’t bruise a nail when I’m dropped on my platforms. As a masochist I like the feeling of being dropped on my toes and as a narcissist I love how well the shoes show off my high arches, satin sheathed heels and make my feet and legs look gorgeous! 

 

 

In thrall to a witch

Me in Jenna’s menstrual size Bloch Alpha pointes

The Photo: a pair of Jenna’s Bloch Alpha pointes that I wear for ballet-sex with Brad, my new psychotherapist. Alpha runs 2 ½ sizes smaller than my street shoe size and I was amazed to find that she had been wearing Alphas to perform in and was using them to play in as well. Her Menstrual size, 5 ½, pictured above should fit me perfectly during my periods. The size she wore during other times in her cycle, 4 ½, are just a tiny bit snug on me with toe pads which I like in a pointe shoe made of conventional materials because they will stretch slightly with wear. Brad wants me to wear her shoes when I’m on my toes while we make love and in a new relationship like this wearing his dead wife’s pointes with her Chi from their love making still very fresh in them is an amazing boost to my libido. Not that I needed one as I get wet, my nipples harden and I need to be milked when ever I’m around him.

My therapy sessions with Brad: As I wrote in my previous post “I think I know what he wants, a hypersexual mate. He lost his wife, Jenna, and baby son in a car accident eighteen months ago and he says I remind him of his wife.  I’m pretty sure he is already in love with me though I have only been seeing him professionally, as his patient, for the past few weeks.”

He is helping me come to terms with being a handmaiden of the Goddess Aphrodite and also being a witch of sorts which is an attribute of being in the service of Venus/Aphrodite. I want to do so much to help others, but there are unforeseeable long term implications in using magic to change things. So he is working with me to channel my energy into helping my wards, my students at St Lucy’s and the men and women who pass through my escort classes make the best possible use of their sexuality skills and wiles as that will bring about an amazing amount of intense pleasure, something an earthly servant of Aphrodite is charged to do.

It took only several small spells to show him I wasn’t certifiably insane or delusional. Things like lighting candles and his fireplace from across the room, levitating a bronze vase and causing a small gentle rain over his office building was all it took to convince him.

In thrall to a witch: Sex with Brad is awesome! He was so ready though he knew it is unethical for a therapist to enter in to an intimate relationship with a patient. I relieved his mind by suggesting that we be friends instead of having a doctor-patient relationship. That way he could analyze and coach me with his knowledge as he learned first hand about my intimate powers. It was the same reasoning I used with all my previous psychoanalysts and it quickly brought him under my spell. We discussed it in a way that left him convinced that it was his idea to analyze me as a friend. It’s so much easier to steer a man in the direction you want when he thinks it’s his idea.

Vagina Dentata: Even so, the first time we were intimate I didn’t let him penetrate me except with his fingers, which for him had its scary moments. But I did let him breast feed since my breasts were full and Jenna had let him breast feed as she had been weaning their son and was already cycling naturally again and using a Milex Omniflex diaphragm for contraception.

It was a great relief to have him milk me and the wonderful time during his gentle breastfeeding helped to allay some of his concern about penetrating me with his penis. I think I may have given too much away when I tightened my muscles around the two fingers he had inserted in my vagina. I squeezed his knuckles together until they hurt just to show him how strong my vaginal muscles are and how easily I can squeeze the cream out of his éclair. He was more than impressed; he was a bit scared and thought I might have Vagina Dentata, an extremely rare (but not mythical) condition where a woman has teeth in her vagina. I had to let him feel around for quite a while to convince him that I had no teeth in my vagina just the normal musculature that had been strengthened by ballet and specialized training to convince him my vagina wasn’t going to crush or eat him.  

Brad is such a deliciously hunky man! In his late 30s he is in great shape with a gorgeous body and he is extremely well endowed (with a beautiful uncut penis) for a psychiatrist and I’ve had sex with quite a few by now. But he still has this teen male wonderment about women and sex. I think his wife was the only woman he had ever had sex with so he is, for all practical purposes, still virgin. Of course he has been thoroughly screened and is free of STIs. Even so he’s blown away that I use only cervical barriers and let him penetrate me w/o him in a condom even when I’m fertile. I’ve assured him I’m perfectly safe and have let him watch me insert my Oves cervical cap and screw it down tight on my fertile cervix.

I know he still thinks, perhaps hopes, he is going to get me preggers and I can tell that is a huge turn-on for him as it has been for many of the men who I have let inseminate me.  I was CD9 and newly fertile more than a week ago when we began our series of intimate penetrative therapy sessions and they have certainly relaxed him in my presence. So sex with him the past week was marvelous! My allowing him penetrative sex was after he permitted me complete access to Jenna’s suite of rooms and all her clothing and other possessions which he had jealously guarded and that had remained untouched since her death.