The tease, the altar ego and an ANR

Teasing Marvin in a pair of my old Gaynors

The photo: Me introducing “Morning Wood” to Gaynor Minden pointes teasing him with the ribbons – tying my feet into my shoes which he thinks of as ‘ballet bondage’ - before our first ballet-sex encounter with me wearing them. He understands as few other men have how important wearing pointes is for me as they boost my confidence exponentially.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder): After watching Brad switch, change personalities, from his vanilla in-charge self when he is the professional psychiatrist helping me understand my new role as a sexual libertine, to his kinky identity when he is a asexually assertive submissive in my thrall when I am wearing Jenna’s things I’ve concluded that he has at least two distinct personalities; the eminent psychiatrist and the love-sick sexually assertive submissive.

Marvin “Morning” Wood: For a link to an article about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) article click: HERE.   This article says that multiple personalities occur from some childhood trauma from which the individual is trying to protect him or her self. Nothing that Brad has told me about his childhood indicates that so perhaps he is just good at hiding it. However, I think his marvelously studly sexual  submissive identity, Marvin “Morning” Wood, began appearing shortly after his marriage to Jenna (I’ve seen letters addressed to her from Marvin Wood when he traveled so she knew of his alter ego’s obsession with her in pointe shoes) as he craved her approval for his masculinity. From what he’s said I think the ‘Morning Wood’ persona was developed fully shortly after her death as he began the search for her replacement. For the time being he seems to have settled on me and he is thoughtful and affectionate and a magnificent lover as his fetish personality suggests, and, during a sexual encounter with me as Jenna he takes directions wonderfully. I love it that when we are out together with me as Jenna he likes me to call him ‘MW’ or Woody.

He named his alter ego appropriately as I’ve never seen a harder or more ready man when he wakes and he usually needs to get off several times before his penis wilts. I’ve begun having a casino car pick me up at his place when I sleep over because some of the best sex with him is in the mornings, so I need time after I shower to get myself together before leading an early morning class at the casino. I don’t think he is violent or that I’m in any danger, but I believe he wouldn’t mind if I was able to give him such an intense sexual encounter that it killed him. I think I mentioned earlier that sometimes before we have sex he is so needy he seems suicidal.

Jenna, Marvin and pointe shoes: Brad’s alter ego Marvin was so needy when I returned from Scotland! I‘ve decided to try and gradually expand his sexual experiences with me as ‘Jenna’. And because he is so into pointe shoes I think I stand the best chance of getting him accepting new things in that area of his fixation since he relied on her to show him what she liked which influenced him. Not that he is getting tired of Jenna in Bloch Alpha pointes he still lusts for her in them, but eventually her supply of Alpha shoes will be used up so this is a good time to ease and tease him into what I hope will be a strong fascination with GMs.

I’ve already begun to limit the amount of ballet-sex I’m offering him while wearing Alphas, explaining that I’ve just found Gaynor Minden shoes which are more comfy while lasting longer. He’s not concerned about the cost of her shoes, but he does appreciate her making good economic choices. So while he was cautious about loving her in GM pointes as much as in Alphas after the first several ballet-sex encounters with me on my toes in Gaynors he became a believer, because Jenna was a believer in them.

An adult nursing relationship (ANR):  I found Marvin loves breast milk. I had meant to pump my breasts before I went to Brad’s, but didn’t have time so I took the pump along thinking he might be interested in seeing me pump and perhaps would even want a taste. When I’d made the change to Jenna and unzipped the bag holding my Medela he wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I was going to pump my breasts as they were full (32 B/C cups when they are engorged) and I needed to be milked. I was about to offer him a meal at my breasts when he hung his head and asked quietly if he could please breast feed. I was amazed! It turned out that Jenna had needed all her output for their son and then as she started to wean him she refused Marvin’s request to breast feed because she was trying to stop lactating as she began getting her body back in dancing shape again.  That I hadn’t asked him was in keeping with Jenna’s earlier behavior, but when I agreed and put my pump away he was overjoyed and we lay on the couch in his living room with me on a thick soft towel to catch any nipple leakage when he hungrily latched on switching his sucking between breasts until he had emptied them.  

So an ANR is a huge plus in my favor in my role as Jenna as he is now more invested than ever in the delusion that I’m Jenna and with him developing an adult nursing relationship with me it should make my control of him more profound.  I am going to have to watch the quantity that he is taking because I don’t want my breasts to increase in size. Returning readers may remember that I’m taking meds to limit my milk supply so I don’t lose my 32B cup size and therefore my Balanchine figure. But lactating burns calories so I can eat just about anything I want and with my ballet training regimen, frequent intense sexual activity and being gently milked routinely my weight is stable at 105 lbs.

Reality chick

A pair of Jenna’s old Bloch Alpha shoes damp from ballet-sex

The Photo: A pair of Brad’s dead wife Jenna’s pointes I wear during his continuing sexual fantasy where he is convinced he’s having sex with his wife. He is delusional, believing that by me wearing her pointe shoes I become Jenna in the flesh and must wear one of her 70mm Milex Omniflex silicone diaphragms, which is two sizes too small for me, to protect her cervix.

An Alpha male: In the real world when Jenna died with their infant son in an auto accident eighteen months ago she was newly pregnant. Brad doesn’t know as the body was too badly burned for an autopsy and I haven’t told him as I think it would add to his grief. I only learned of her pregnancy from her Chi in her shoes from which I can tell a great deal about the former owner.

Brad is insistent that since I look enough like her - I could be Jenna’s identical twin - I wear her Bloch Alpha pointes as she was a ballet dancer and he thinks me wearing them helps in the transubstantiation process. He is at least partially correct because I use the traces of her Chi to help me be more authentic in my role as Jenna. When I’m dressed in her things we do look amazingly similar and with her scent and her mannerisms from videos I am a very convincing Jenna and Brad doesn’t need convincing. I think of myself as an actress in a role, a ‘Reality Chick’, helping a grieving husband find release to ease him through an emotional tragedy.  

He has this fascination with ballet-sex with me in her Alpha pointes, partially I think because he got so little of it. Perhaps that was because Alpha pointes are an advanced dancers shoe and almost impossible to relax in when en pointe so being taken on her toes in them was probably not fun for her. While I’m new to the Alpha shoe I think I’m adjusting well to ballet-sex in it. It’s not nearly as comfy and supportive as hard shanked Gaynor Minden shoes, but in Alpha’s favor is that the 4 ½ xxx is such a good fit that my toes go numb when I’m en pointe so with toe pads thrust-drop hasn’t been the problem I thought it might be though my platforms are lifted several inches off the floor during the last few thrusts before he comes. The Alpha style also appeals to the masochist in me not to mention the narcissist as they make my feet and legs look beautiful. Too, there is risk involved as they can be a dangerous shoe for high arched dancers to wear and that danger appeals to my sense of adventure.

After being taken several times while sur les pointes a la seconde while bent over holding on to the barre I Kegel his load into a puffs tissue and he carries me to bed. I sit on the bed and take off my sweat soaked Alphas and put them in a Ziploc bag so they retain the moisture and scent then give them to him to smell and fondle the next day. Then he sucks and tongues the toe-cheese from between my toes and I snuggle into his arms. It’s almost as if he’s been drugged how quickly he falls into a deep sleep. When he’s asleep I get up, shower and leave for the evening. When we meet the next day I spray the pair I gave Brad to fondle with a good anti-fungal spray and put them on the rack with the other shoes to dry.

Alphas in clubs: For a woman who can pull it off clubbing in Alpha pointes has advantages. Wearing Alphas in a fetish club establishes ones bona fides as an accomplished fetishist if you can walk around easily and confidently en pointe in them and stay on your toes the full time you are standing. Clean satin heels after a nights clubbing is a major indicator of the strength of the woman’s feet if she is in Alpha pointes.  Mincing around in them establishes the wearer as a pretender so almost no one tries as the discomfort is too great for experienced dancers and amateurs are rightly concerned about injury.  In vanilla clubs wearing pointes at all is extremely rare and then only by a professional dancer with strong feet. When Brad takes me dancing at a vanilla club when we take to the floor everyone else stops and watches us. I tease him that we should charge for entertaining. Satin trimmed off the platforms and darned platform edges ensure good traction on the slipperiest floors.

Toe-chicks: While I’m on the subject of Alphas for ballet-sex my wards in their after school jobs as assistant trainers working with male escort candidates are known as the toe-chicks because they are the only trainers who wear pointe shoes. Other trainers wear five inch stripper heels for ballet-sex which is a good approximation, but not the real thing because the pelvic muscles only develop maximum grip when the entire foot and leg is extended so they don’t give a male candidate the full-ballet-sex experience. As a consequence my girls are in demand as trainers.

I’ve mentioned before putting both Bea and Willow in Bloch Alphas. Willow can wear them marvelously well, but isn’t as fascinated with them as Bea and still performs in bespoke Freed Classics. Bea doesn’t want to take her Alpha pointes off and now takes class in them as well as wearing them when she is helping train escorts! Her combination of exuberance, energy and love of a challenge have her far more comfortable in Alphas than Willow and she is a favorite with the escort candidates she works with. The swan twins aren’t ready for Alphas and probably never will be. They are still in Freeds for ballet class and hard shanked Gaynors when working with their assigned escort trainees. They love the sex, but aren’t interested in the work required to be able to wear Alphas confidently and not hurt themselves.

Brad and Reflexions: I’m trying to move Brad away from Jenna’s 70mm Omniflex diaphragms because he is damaging his frenulum by under-thrusting them in missionary.  In my persona as Jenna I’m substituting a correctly fitting (for me) 80mm latex reflections while pointing out how much softer, stretcher and more natural the dome feels since it transfers body heat so much better than the silicone of an Omniflex. So far he does like the feeling, but I think his acceptance had a lot to do with the fact that ‘Jenna’ suggested it. I’m relieved I got him to accept Jenna wearing an 80mm Reflexions because I’ll need it for effective flood insurance when I teach him about dive-sex. My period will be starting tomorrow, Saturday. I have a Reflexions inserted now as I’m already spotting and I can’t wear Oves for flood protection while I’m menstrual.

Winter still: We had a taste of early Spring here this past Wednesday 4/2 when the temps were in the mid 60s and there was snow again in the Spring Mts. So it was still good weather to wear latex catsuits to the clubs and private parties. Not so next week as the forecast is for the high 70s and low 80s, really sticky latex catsuit weather.

Suicide sex

A handmaiden tending her temple

Suicide sex:  Can a woman kill a man just with her vaginal muscles or mind-fuck him into suicide? Absolutely, but only under certain conditions! I’ve seen depressed women commit suicide by intentionally going too deep in a training pool get nitrogen narcosis then remove the reg from their mouths and try and breathe water. The two I’ve watched didn’t even try to surface, just spasmed vomited and stopped moving and immediately sank to the bottom of the pool.

The men were a bit different as two knew that they had heart conditions and still couldn’t stay away from the women who were their obsessions. There has also been one who had a heart condition for which he was taking nitrates and he intentionally took a large dose of Viagra. He was with me when he unbeknownst to me took the Viagra and a few minutes after he penetrated me in missionary his blood pressure dropped so low he stopped breathing just after he came in me and told me how tight and what I great fuck I was. His fifth ejaculatory thrust seemed to tip him over the edge. He gasped, “Oh God!” his eyes got real wide and he collapsed on top of me.

Brad, my current psychoanalyst, has been emailing me several times a day since we’ve been in Scotland wanting to know when I will be home to recreate the Jenna fantasy for him. When we agreed to work together I had no idea he would become so fixated on having sex during his fantasy with me dressed in his dead wife Jenna’s ballet practice clothes, shoes and her 70mm Milex wide seal Omniflex contraceptive diaphragm. I think if we keep on with the intensity and duration of the encounters he is having with me as Jenna he will almost certainly kill himself as some part of his body will fail catastrophically. I think it’s my duty to help him by providing extremely intense fantasy sex so he can be united with Jenna as soon as possible and be at peace.

Paraphilias: While thinking about Brad and his need to fantasize about having sex with his dead wife I came across an interesting article about paraphilias, problems with controlling impulses that are characterized by recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, The article can be found Article It’s interesting to see in print a list of some of the sexual fantasies our escorts are trained deal with in order to serve those with a paraphilia fulfill their sexual needs.

MH 370 and my G650: Several readers have asked what I think about the disappearance of Malaysian Airways flight MH 370, the Boeing 777, which disappeared with two hundred and thirty-nine people on board two weeks ago. As of today, Saturday March 23, 2014, searchers haven’t found a trace of it. I have no idea what happened. However, I do think the Malaysian government handled the first week of the search very, very poorly. Unlike the Malaysian airline I haven’t skimped on maintenance computer programs for Limnaea II that link to satellites every few minutes so if (Goddess forbid) something happens while we are in the air everyone who should know will know what the problem was and where we went down. I just love the ‘new car’ smell of the leather seats and everything is so shiny and new, not that my 550 was shabby in any way.

Aphrodite’s temple and Jack: Since the equinox I have been spending evenings with Jack in Aphrodite’s temple behind the chapel in the undercroft of Crag Abbey. The enclosed space has the scent of ripe pomegranates and beeswax from blessed beeswax candles which provide the only illumination. I’ve been praying to Aphrodite and making offerings of her favorite fruit, Pomegranates; with the hope that she felt that my solution to Brad’s deep depression and his Jenna fantasy was acceptable. He has tried psychotherapy and anti-depression drugs that make him listless and kill his libido so he stopped them as he craves being with Jenna, when I dress in her things for him.

Nothing has worked to break his sex-with-his-dead-wife fantasy. If anything some therapy sessions seem to make him worse until he can be with me, so I anticipate a marathon of very strenuous, very intense sex when I see him next.  I think Brad needs release and I think by increasing the intensity of our encounters I can bring him peace more quickly.

We were all fertile for the equinox celebration on the 20^th and I ovulated today so there is a slim chance that Jack might impregnate me as I only have the Oves screwed down on my ripe cervix. But it has never failed me in the ten plus years I’ve been using Oves so there is no reason to think it will fail now. Jack has been so sweet to hold me and take me slowly and gently in missionary as I lay flat across the mosaic of the Venus-Aphrodite image giving me wave after wave of delightfully gentle orgasms so I’m kept blissed out before he gives me one strong one that gets him off as well.. It’s only then when my primary lover is filling me with thick hot cream containing millions of his sperm that I feel closest to my Goddess and blissfully content.

 

The trip to Inverness and Ullapool

Spring in the mountains near Ullapool

Ullapool in the early spring: The Met office forecast for Ullapool on the 20th is for 8°C (about 46°F) with a 24 mph winds and heavy rain during the previous evening and day and that’s at sea level. Several thousand feet up at Location Z it will be freezing or below and with the wind the wind chill will be brutal! This is about what passes for normal at Loc Z. this time of year At least they aren’t calling for snow. I’m hoping the peat fires in the fire pits will make the site more hospitable during the initiation ceremonies than at the Winter Solstice, though everyone managed to survive that.

The trip out: I took delivery of my new Gulfstream 650, Limnaea II, several weeks ago, but hadn’t flown in it until now while I let the crews fly courier services for the government to make sure all the features were working as they should before we departed for Scotland.  I love the ‘new’ smell of the cabin, mainly from the leather of the seats. We stopped briefly at Dulles to deliver courier packages and top off our tanks before our flight to Inverness a bit more than 3,400 miles.

The flight was uneventful except for the marvelous sex with Willow who is really getting good at milking me with her talented tongue she knows me so well now had me so aroused she just inserted two fingers and got me off while breast feeding! She is awesome! Then I caressed the shaft of her clitoris, something she dearly loves, and after she came we snuggled and went to sleep in each other’s arms. What a marvelously restful night!

When we got to Inverness after a 8 hour flight from Dulles (with a brief stop at Stansted) it was 50° F and cloudy with good visibility. Jack and out male Gyn, Chris, were there to greet us with a convoy of four Range Rovers. They helped unload our things and off we went over the Mts. to His Grace’s hunting lodge in the hills below Location Z. Jack and I are going up to the site tomorrow, well later today, the 19^th as it’s midnight here so I can see the fire pits and plan how to distribute the incineration powder to get the best results.

I've been so Busy: So much else has been going that I haven’t written about acquiring my exquisite new jet. There just hasn’t been time what with Andrea’s blood clots from the failure of her gas-guard during dive-sex and getting comfortable with Brad, my new therapist, who is helping me come to terms with my responsibilities as a handmaiden to the Goddess Aphrodite and my role as Chief-Priestess at Location Z for the celebration of geophysical events which bring new life (read men) back to the old ways. Of course I’ve been helping Brad make his fantasy of being with his dead wife Jenna come true. At least while I’m dressed in her things and wearing her scent while on his arm or in his bed and especially while he is hard, long and deep inside me thrusting into my cervix. He is so blissed out when he’s inside me he wants it to never end. I’m so glad my participation in the vernal equinox festivities will give him a week away from me as he desperately needs the rest from sexual exertion.

I had intended to get a post off before we left Dulles, but with loading Fiona’s things and taking her aboard – returning readers will remember she is Jack’s sister – and who we dropped off at Stansted before going on to Inverness there wasn’t time.

 

Sex with a Succubus - the dead wife fantasy

Jenna’s Bloch Alpha S0104 ¾ outer sole pointes

The Photo: My New psychiatrist’s, dead wife, Jenna’s, size 4 ½ Bloch pointes she wore throughout her cycle except when menstrual. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post when menstrual she wore a 5 ½ in Bloch Alphas.

The dead wife fantasy: In my experience some virile men after losing a mate to death seek solace in fantasy sex and it happens more than you might think. But they often feel guilty about cheating on the memory of their mate. Brad’s wife had been a ballet dancer with the San Francisco Ballet when they met and married while he was in med school. He has photos of her in practice clothes and costumes in his condo and she was a lovely 27 y/o with a Balanchine body (long legs and neck, short trunk, small head and breasts and relatively big feet) when she died. He has repeatedly told me how much I look like her and from the photos of her in his home I could be her identical twin.

It turns out that beautiful Brad has a very active imagination and one of his fantasies is that I’m his dead wife and when we are alone he calls me Jenna. He has given me permission to use her dressing room and bathroom in their Condo when I share his bed. And I’m encouraged if not required to wear her clothes, jewelry and perfume. Nothing in her suite had been touched, except to be dusted and her last dirty laundry was still in her hamper with her scent still on it. I went through her lingerie drawers and closets and I have very similar tastes to hers. She had nursing bras and was still breast feeding when she died so we have that in common too. And just like me she also wore LilyPadz breast pads to help with leaking nipples. 

I meet him at his Condo for our sexual and psychotherapy sessions. Jenna’s small studio with a Marley floor, barre and mirrored wall was converted from a bedroom and can be reached through a connecting door from her dressing room.  I change into her practice clothes which fit me wonderfully well, empty my bowels and bladder, insert one of her Omniflex diaphragms and my sports plug and wear her scent. I come out of her dressing room into the studio where he is waiting for me and only then put on my pointes (Jenna’s Bloch Alphas) where he can watch. All during these sessions he calls me Jenna. After a 20 minute warm-up I change into her stripping costume and back in the studio put on Beautiful Dreamer which was one of Jenna’s favorites. The routine is about 3.5 minutes long and leaves me wearing only my Alpha pointes and plug.

I had intended to wear my own pointes as she wore Bloch in a slightly smaller size and I like hard shanked Gaynors when I’m having sex on my toes since then I don’t have to worry about proper technique and can put my weight on my heels and enjoy being made love to and concentrate on timing my orgasm with my partner’s which is always special being hurled into ecstasy simultaneously. But all that changed, at least while I’m Jenna and recently when I’ve gone clubbing with Brad while dressed in her things. When I tried on her Bloch Alphas I found that I love how they fit and with the ¾ outsole how well they display my high arches! I do just a tiny glamour charm – it’s easy to do with today’s cosmetics - so to him my face and body look and feel and my voice sounds exactly like Jenna’s. When I do that he is in my power and I can do anything I want with him or to him.

His penis is massive! It's wonderfully hard and dripping pre-ejaculate when I finish stripping down to my pointes and plug. He is so ready to take me!  I let him back me against the barre, remove my sports plug and slip it into my mouth as I fondle his testicles all snugged tight against his pubic bone with one hand and caress his nipples with the other while I suck my own secretions off my sports plug before I turn, to face the barre, go on pointe in second position, bend over and grip the barre with both hands and band over and relax my pelvic muscles as much as possible while on my toes so he can enter me. Jenna was one of the few classical dancers who had started wearing plugs to intensify male interest (she was fitted at Gepettos, I checked, and she bought it 6 months before she was killed) so I wonder how faithful Jenna may have been. But I’m certainly not going to mention that to Brad. I’m using my own sports plug as each is custom made to fit the wearer’s pelvic anatomy. Sucking on my sports plug muffles my screams if he rams my cervix tip to tip.

Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex: I’ve written about this before but it bears repeating as there are readers of this blog who try to imitate my use of footwear, often to their sorrow after injuring themselves. Wearing Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex should not be attempted by inexperienced women. Alpha pointes are for women very experienced in pointework advanced pre-professional students or at the professional level and then only by ones with very strong feet. Brad so wants me to wear her shoes when I’m on my toes while we make love, I was skeptical, but I’m glad I agreed to try as I love wearing her shoes! She had almost finished preparing a new order of shoes with ribbons and elastics so she has almost two dozen pairs. Many have already been broken in and are ready to go.

She had lost her baby weight and regained her stamina, I can tell from the level of her Chi, so she was planning a return to performing in the near future when she died though from her aura I can tell she hadn’t told Brad she was returning to performing professionally again. I’m so entheuastic about the Alpha style I’m going to selectively put some of my wards and women escort trainees in Alphas to increase the difficulty of their training. Both Bea and Willow have Giselle feet and strong arches and Bea could use the additional challenge so I’m going to introduce both of them to the Alpha style which I think they will like.

Channeling a ghost: I wear the same scents she wore; vanilla, Chanel #5 and Shalimar. I use the heavy spicy scent sparingly mixed with my fertile musk and dab it on my pulse points a combination that ensnares men from the slightest whiff.  Her tights and leotards fit me perfectly and she had quite a few thong-back leos for practice and to play in w/o tights or with tights over her TB leo for quick access just like I do! It is scary how seemingly alike we are! It’s as though she has gone away for the weekend and I’m just taking her place temporarily. Thought of like that everything seems almost normal for a new white hot infatuation. Over time however while the intensity of Brad’s obsession has only increased my need to test his stamina and exhaust him while I’m channeling Jenna has become troubling.

When we’re alone at his place he has me dress in her clothes. Often he wants me barelegged in a thong back long sleeve turtleneck leotard and Alpha pointes as he conducts my therapy session. In her clothes and with her Milex inserted I can feel her presence guiding me and telling me the little things she did that enchanted him so, like forcing her tongue under his foreskin to caress his glans before he becomes aroused and massively erect. He is so into that fantasy when I’m kneeling between his legs with my tongue sheathed by his foreskin as I gently caress his testicles! I’m sure that my being a ballet dancer as well as a sexuality expert was why he approached me to work with him in his study of hypersexuality. He was taught by the Psychiatrist I helped years ago when he was studying habitual sexual offenders and I’m certain my name and contribution to that study came up.  

Even at my age I can easily pass for being in my very early 30s so physically there is very little difference between the in-shape 27 y/o in the photos and me as an in-shape and very well preserved 43 y/o classical ballet dancer. Except that I’m much tighter than she ever was! I was thrilled to hear that! I don’t think he intended to tell me, but it sort of slipped out between gasps the first time I ripple gripped him. When we first met I immediately sensed he was hoping for an intimate relationship as well as an assistant since he kept telling me how much I look like her. I know I’m repeating myself, but he just tells me that over and over! He says he knows he can’t bring her back, but wants so badly to relive some of their most intense times together. However, there is a much darker side to Brad’s fantasy with me being Jenna.

Jenna as a Succubus: From Wikipedia: “A succubus is a female demon or supernatural entity in folklore (traced back to medieval legend) that appears in dreams and takes the form of a human woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual activity. The male counterpart is the incubus. Religious traditions hold that repeated sexual activity with a succubus may result in the deterioration of health or even death.

In modern fictional representations, a succubus may or may not appear in dreams and is often depicted as a highly attractive seductress or enchantress; whereas, in the past, succubi were generally depicted as frightening and demonic.”

The sex is so intense for us both that in the last few days, as I’ve spent more time as Jenna, I’ve begun to see signs of him physically weakening. He is now on Cialis and topical testosterone, which are helping his stamina to some extent. I’m beginning to think Jenna ghost is not as benign as either of us once thought because when I’m channeling her I’m insatiable! Not that I mind for myself as I’m enjoying the experience. But when I’ve drained Brad and know I should let him rest her control over my libido has me keep going sucking out all his fluids and keeping him erect for hours at a time until he is bordering on Priapism except that I’m continuously stimulating him and his penis is so sore, but neither of us want to stop. When I’m, or is it Jenna who is eventually sated Jenna aura fades and Brad will collapse and fall into a deep sleep of twelve to sixteen hours, which has played havoc his practice of psychiatry.

 

 

 

In thrall to a witch

Me in Jenna’s menstrual size Bloch Alpha pointes

The Photo: a pair of Jenna’s Bloch Alpha pointes that I wear for ballet-sex with Brad, my new psychotherapist. Alpha runs 2 ½ sizes smaller than my street shoe size and I was amazed to find that she had been wearing Alphas to perform in and was using them to play in as well. Her Menstrual size, 5 ½, pictured above should fit me perfectly during my periods. The size she wore during other times in her cycle, 4 ½, are just a tiny bit snug on me with toe pads which I like in a pointe shoe made of conventional materials because they will stretch slightly with wear. Brad wants me to wear her shoes when I’m on my toes while we make love and in a new relationship like this wearing his dead wife’s pointes with her Chi from their love making still very fresh in them is an amazing boost to my libido. Not that I needed one as I get wet, my nipples harden and I need to be milked when ever I’m around him.

My therapy sessions with Brad: As I wrote in my previous post “I think I know what he wants, a hypersexual mate. He lost his wife, Jenna, and baby son in a car accident eighteen months ago and he says I remind him of his wife.  I’m pretty sure he is already in love with me though I have only been seeing him professionally, as his patient, for the past few weeks.”

He is helping me come to terms with being a handmaiden of the Goddess Aphrodite and also being a witch of sorts which is an attribute of being in the service of Venus/Aphrodite. I want to do so much to help others, but there are unforeseeable long term implications in using magic to change things. So he is working with me to channel my energy into helping my wards, my students at St Lucy’s and the men and women who pass through my escort classes make the best possible use of their sexuality skills and wiles as that will bring about an amazing amount of intense pleasure, something an earthly servant of Aphrodite is charged to do.

It took only several small spells to show him I wasn’t certifiably insane or delusional. Things like lighting candles and his fireplace from across the room, levitating a bronze vase and causing a small gentle rain over his office building was all it took to convince him.

In thrall to a witch: Sex with Brad is awesome! He was so ready though he knew it is unethical for a therapist to enter in to an intimate relationship with a patient. I relieved his mind by suggesting that we be friends instead of having a doctor-patient relationship. That way he could analyze and coach me with his knowledge as he learned first hand about my intimate powers. It was the same reasoning I used with all my previous psychoanalysts and it quickly brought him under my spell. We discussed it in a way that left him convinced that it was his idea to analyze me as a friend. It’s so much easier to steer a man in the direction you want when he thinks it’s his idea.

Vagina Dentata: Even so, the first time we were intimate I didn’t let him penetrate me except with his fingers, which for him had its scary moments. But I did let him breast feed since my breasts were full and Jenna had let him breast feed as she had been weaning their son and was already cycling naturally again and using a Milex Omniflex diaphragm for contraception.

It was a great relief to have him milk me and the wonderful time during his gentle breastfeeding helped to allay some of his concern about penetrating me with his penis. I think I may have given too much away when I tightened my muscles around the two fingers he had inserted in my vagina. I squeezed his knuckles together until they hurt just to show him how strong my vaginal muscles are and how easily I can squeeze the cream out of his éclair. He was more than impressed; he was a bit scared and thought I might have Vagina Dentata, an extremely rare (but not mythical) condition where a woman has teeth in her vagina. I had to let him feel around for quite a while to convince him that I had no teeth in my vagina just the normal musculature that had been strengthened by ballet and specialized training to convince him my vagina wasn’t going to crush or eat him.  

Brad is such a deliciously hunky man! In his late 30s he is in great shape with a gorgeous body and he is extremely well endowed (with a beautiful uncut penis) for a psychiatrist and I’ve had sex with quite a few by now. But he still has this teen male wonderment about women and sex. I think his wife was the only woman he had ever had sex with so he is, for all practical purposes, still virgin. Of course he has been thoroughly screened and is free of STIs. Even so he’s blown away that I use only cervical barriers and let him penetrate me w/o him in a condom even when I’m fertile. I’ve assured him I’m perfectly safe and have let him watch me insert my Oves cervical cap and screw it down tight on my fertile cervix.

I know he still thinks, perhaps hopes, he is going to get me preggers and I can tell that is a huge turn-on for him as it has been for many of the men who I have let inseminate me.  I was CD9 and newly fertile more than a week ago when we began our series of intimate penetrative therapy sessions and they have certainly relaxed him in my presence. So sex with him the past week was marvelous! My allowing him penetrative sex was after he permitted me complete access to Jenna’s suite of rooms and all her clothing and other possessions which he had jealously guarded and that had remained untouched since her death.

Psychotherapy research and Hypersexuality

Foreplay: the lipstick as his penis fantasy

I’ve changed psychiatrists, again: With this one I’m not only in therapy, but am helping him with a study he is conducting about hypersexuality in couples. I’m helping in that study as a supplier of services to a couple in the study who are voyeurs. One watches their partner having sex and usually masturbates while watching.

The man is heterosexual while she is Bi so I can service both in the same session if needed, but I’ve never been asked to do that yet. There is competitiveness between them as to which one had the most intense orgasm, one with a partner and the other masturbating, but just replaying the videos it’s hard for me to tell. They wear an 8-track telemetry units that record blood pressure, heart rate, respiration rate etc. so the therapist will know if there is an attempt to dramatize their orgasmic responses.

As I understand the patient couple’s stated reason for therapy it’s to develop better at technique and have more intense orgasms while gaining insight from the therapist as to what is driving them to bring a stranger into their sex lives. Supposedly they have an open marriage and there is no jealousy between them over performance with a sexual services provider, but I’ve seen looks from one when the other is in the throes of an orgasm that indicate jealousy to me, and I’m a excellent judge of human emotions.

I’m sure my shrink (I’ll call him Bradley or Brad) is studying me as well as the hypersexual couple. However, I think I’m already ahead of him there and know what he wants, a hypersexual mate. He lost his wife, Jenna, and baby son in a car accident eighteen months ago and he says I remind him of his wife.  I’m pretty sure he is already in love with me though I have only been seeing him professionally, as his patient, for the past few weeks.

About the definition of Hypersexuality: From:  http://psychcentral.com/lib/hypersexuality-symptoms-of-sexual-addiction/00011488

“Sexual addiction can be considered a process addiction (as opposed to substance addictions such as drugs and alcohol), similar to gambling, binge eating or compulsive spending. As such, sexual addicts typically spend a much greater amount of time engaged in the pursuit of sex and romance (the process) than in the sexual act itself. They are addicted to the neurochemical and dissociative high produced by their intense sexual fantasy life and ritualistic behavior. This is their addiction.”

“While not yet fully acknowledged as a legitimate mental health disorder in the clinical literature (reportedly due to a lack of research study), sexual addiction and hypersexuality nevertheless is becoming identified in the public consciousness as a legitimate neuropsychobiological disorder”.

False Pretenses: From the above definition you can see that the couple Brad has me working with don’t at first glance fit the strict definition as they are (seemingly) far more interested in watching each other with a third person than to “spend a much greater amount of time engaged in the pursuit of sex and romance (the process) than in the sexual act itself.” Unless or course their participation in the study is a ruse, part of their “pursuit of sex and romance” to gain access to a therapist and sexual services provider (the process) w/o having to pay a lot for the experience because the study is funded by a grant.

Both Brad and I think that’s exactly what they are doing having the university and its resources involved in paying for their sex with medical and sexual services professionals as active partners. That aspect of their (Romantic Process) because of its unconventional nature was what got them a place in the study. Brad feels there is knowledge to be gained from the couple both physically and from the elaborate hoax they think they have successfully pulled off.

Of course Brad’s hypersexual patient couple I’m working with have been screened for STIs so there is no problem there and the wife has been fitted with hormonal (Marina) IUDs so she should be relatively safe from pregnancy, not a problem for her with girl-girl sex, but if they decide to have sex with one another she’s protected while we watch. But as I mentioned I’ve already seen indications of jealousy as she is watching me fuck her husband, though I suppose she imagines he is fucking me. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a problem with her