Cervical barriers and BDSM

Reflexions flat spring latex diaphragm preferred by dive-sex professionals

Premature ejaculation in the fetish world: I’m working with my psychiatrist who is treating several of his patients for premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation (PE) in the vanilla world is annoying and embarrassing to men and frustrating to their women partners during recreational sex, but it doesn’t affect their fertility. If he is erect and can get it in before getting off he’s a success at procreational sex. In the fetish world where Viagra, Cialis and Lavitra are consumed like breath mints by males of all ages the inability to control the ejaculation reflex and retain an erection for extended intervals, even with a cock ring, can be a psychologically crippling condition and will affect a man’s standing with women while competing for the most desirable females.

Rather than medicate them with anti-depressants which make it more time consuming for some men to reach orgasm my psychiatrist is trying to have these patients become so used to visual erotic stimuli - in the form of a rubber-girl masturbating - that they can begin to regain control of their ejaculations. I wear a black latex catsuit with a hood that hides my features so I can’t be identified, ballet boots and special black latex exam gloves. I speak very little during a 25 minute session with each patient though I do gasp, mew, moan, whimper and occasionally scream while using my fingers or a dildo to give myself orgasms. The object for the patient is to be able to go the full 25 minutes w/o ejaculating while he watches me masturbate to multiple orgasms.

I wear an Oves cap (my secret) and then ‘double bag’ for safety (in case I’m overpowered during the session and the patient pulls my diaphragm out – see ‘BDSM and cervical barriers’ below) while letting the patient watch me insert a Reflexions (latex) diaphragm in case the patient loses control and mounts, penetrates and ejaculates inside me. In which case we begin again and a second occurrence of that behavior and the Doctor bills the patient $500 for each time I’m mounted. Having a guy drop $1,000 in less than 25 minutes usually focuses a patients mind. All sessions are videoed so there are no billing disputes. For my own safety I insist that all the patients I perform ‘erotic therapy’ with have been recently tested for STIs and are clean before I begin treatment since, as I mentioned, it is not unknown for men to lose control and mount their erotic therapist though it’s far more common to get splattered with semen, especially during the early sessions of a patients treatment.

One reason I wear black latex is that fresh milky white semen splatters show up well on a black background for the video. I wear a splatter mask, a pair of oversized contact lenses, to minimize the chances of getting semen in my eyes (it burns) since some patients have amazing force behind the first three or four ejaculations of semen. I’ve treated four patients so far and three have shown substantial increases in ejaculatory control by being able to go the entire 25 minute session w/o spilling seed after only 5 treatments each.

Many of these patients have wives and young children and had begun experimenting with fetishes to try and correct their inability to perform sexually at the level their wives require, so in addition to our therapy sessions I try to help the patients with tips about what to do to improve their standing at home. At the end of a successful session I allow the patient to mount and get off inside me (a non billable orgasm for the patient) or if he insists I’ll blow him. But then I give him a deep kiss and spit his semen back into his mouth and force him to swallow it. After that I’m not asked for any more blow jobs by that patient. I prefer to be mounted since I enjoy being able to have that much control over a partner and love having a man’s semen draining into my thong. I also like being able to release the patient’s tension after a difficult 25 minutes and taking him for my own pleasure gives me a feeling of accomplishment as well as feeling sated and confident after mutually orgasmic sex.

Cervical barriers and BDSM: A group of young Rubber Sluts (a rank in the local BDSM community that has nothing to do with a woman’s moral character) have asked me to give several seminars on the advantages and disadvantages of using a cervical barrier in the BDSM community. Almost everyone involved in dive-sex out here knows by now that wearing a gas guard during dive-sex is important for a woman’s safety but the choice of which barrier to use and the benefits and drawbacks of diaphragm vs. cap is not always clear. They felt the need for the class became obvious after there were several incidents involving local women in BDSM clubs that put women’s lives at risk. I offered to hold the classes for their entire club membership, but they wanted a private meeting rather than having their Masters or Doms present so they could ask as many personal questions as possible w/o feeling controlled by males.

Reflexions diaphragm: FemCaps and Reflexions flat spring diaphragms are the barriers of choice with the Reflexions far more often used because it is capable of providing a better fit, is less likely to be uncomfortable for a male partner regardless of his size, is nearly impossible for a male partner to under-thrust the rim, can being worn for protection at any time in a woman’s cycle and – unlike most silicone barriers - can be used safely with silicone intimate lubes (like DiveGel) during dive-sex. And the latex dome is stretchier and transmits heat better than silicone so it is almost like skin-on-skin contact. The only possible down-side to wearing the Reflexions is if the woman has a latex allergy. Latex cervical barriers are more easily damaged by oily meds and lubes than are silicone ones, but with proper care a latex diaphragm should last a year or perhaps two even in frequent use. Other diaphragms made of silicone like the Ortho All-Flex and Milex Arcing spring and Omniflex are more easily under-thrust and can be destroyed not only by oily meds and lubes, but also by silicone lubes used with them and silicone lubes are an important part of dive-sex safety.

FemCap: The FemCap is far less effective than a diaphragm as a contraceptive device primarily because of the small number of sizes available (three) which means that fewer women using it can get a really good fit. And the removal strap can often hurt a partner especially in positions where deep thrusting occurs. However, in the BDSM community the FemCap is very dangerous because it can be so easily misused; pulled out of the woman’s vagina before penetration and either used as a butt plug where the diameter of the cap with the man in her vagina gives her the discomfort of double penetration and the possibility of having to go to an ER to have it removed if her Dom/Master hadn’t tied a cord to the removal strap so he could retrieve it.

However, far worse from a safety standpoint, is to have the FemCap stuffed in her mouth as a gag. And I don’t mean from the bitter chemical taste of spermicide. Using FemCap as a gag is extremely dangerous and has resulted in brain damage from asphyxia when the cap was shoved too far down the woman’s throat and blocked her airway and the Dom/Master hadn’t pulled it out in time with a cord tied to the removal strap. If the removal strap is cut off there is nowhere to attach the cord and a strapless FemCap shoved down a woman’s throat will almost certainly lead to her suffocation. I recommend that FemCap not be worn by women in a BDSM relationship because of the possibility of and danger associated with its misuse. A latex Reflexions diaphragm is far safer and more effective device for dive-sex and is less likely to be misused by the wearer’s partner. To the extent that the Dom/Masters are predisposed to latex over silicone I try to steer the Rubber-Sluts toward using the Reflexions diaphragm for protection during dive sex and for other more vanilla uses in their lives.

Big Pharma and PE (premature ejaculation)

Oops! Premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation: I’ve never thought of premature ejaculation as a medical problem that needed a solution. Granted, as a woman on the receiving end of a semen transfer I had other things to think about, but it seems to me that if a guy can get hard enough to get it in before he shoots his wad then as far as the reproductive act is concerned its been a success. Wearing a condom slows a lot of guys down and using lidocaine and wearing a condom slows them down even more so if a guy has a PE problem and wants to last during recreational sex in many cases all he needs to do is wear a condom. There are some guys who go limp when a condom is rolled on. I think that’s psychological but for what ever reason it happens, then Viagra (the Pfizer riser) or another of the performance enhancers can probably help with that. I’m not sure there is a market for a PE med but if it’s talked up enough perhaps there is.

Some girls like going to Naughty’s to tease guys who come on to them by getting a guy off in his pants. It’s so dark and so packed in front of the bar in the ‘Meat Market’ a guy will try dry fucking a hookup and that’s when it’s easiest for her to open his zipper and fondle him to orgasm while he is trying to strangle her with his tongue down her throat as he’s twisting her nipple to get her to gasp so he can slip his tongue even further down her throat. That’s when I can tell if a man has a PE problem because I only have to cup his jewels and rub his glans a bit and he creams my hand. I wipe my hand on his slingshot or under shorts or on the back or sides of his shirt if he’s wearing a jacket. Then zip him up to give him time to reload if he has the nerve to come on to me again, but causing a guy to go in his slacks usually takes the starch out of him, literally as well as figuratively. I usually wear a latex skirt and leather boots or pointes when intending to play with a pickup’s semen. That way if it splatters it’s easy to wipe off. If you wear shoes or a skirt of natural fibers (silk, cotton, linen, wool etc.) semen can stain them.

The New York Times
December 13, 2009
Slipstream

Sure, It’s Treatable. But Is It a Disorder?
By NATASHA SINGER

VIAGRA and its pitchman, Bob Dole, turned erectile dysfunction into a modern man’s malady.

Out went impotence, an unfashionable condition that nobody wanted to discuss with his doctor or lover, and in came E.D., an in-the-know abbreviation for erectile dysfunction that neatly dovetailed with other pop-cultural acronyms like O.M.G. and L.O.L.

Now brace yourselves for P.E. — shorthand for premature ejaculation.

Johnson & Johnson has developed Priligy, a pill aimed at men who ejaculate before copulating or within seconds of beginning. Priligy, which is intended to help prolong latency time before orgasm, went on sale earlier this year in nine countries, but it has not been approved for sale in the United States by the Food and Drug Administration.

Meanwhile, Sciele Pharma, based in Atlanta, plans to seek approval from the agency next year to market a prescription drug in the form of a metered-dose aerosol sprayed on the skin that is intended to increase latency time. Company representatives have been making the rounds of medical conferences and meeting journalists, trying to drum up sympathy and attention for premature ejaculation as a widespread medical problem in need of a drug intervention.

“P.E. is more prevalent than E.D.,” Joseph T. Schepers, the company’s director of investor relations and corporate communications, told me when his team came to the office this week as part of a press tour in Manhattan. “One in three men actually have the condition.”

Donna Gibson Dell, Sciele’s senior product manager for the drug, concurred: “It’s a huge unmet need.”

Pharmaceutical companies dream of developing the next Viagra, a product that had worldwide sales last year of about $1.93 billion.

“Viagra, and I think E.D. along with it, have become part of the cultural fabric,” said Jim Maffezzoli, a senior director in marketing at Pfizer, which introduced the drug in 1998. “The brand, everybody knows it.”

Mr. Maffezzoli credited Viagra’s success to its status as the first prescription pill approved to treat a man’s inability to develop or maintain an erection.

But creating a blockbuster quality-of-life drug like Viagra involves more than just being innovative or being first. Sometimes it requires a drug maker to create and market a whole new category of disease.

The template goes something like this: Start with a legitimate quality-of-life issue — like fitful sleep or shyness — that does not yet have its own prescription medication and is debilitating to a few people a lot of the time. Next, position the quality-of-life issue as a medical condition with symptoms so common it covers vast numbers of people who had previously not identified themselves as having a health problem, or who thought they were just experiencing an occasional and normal annoyance.

Articles in medical journals with high estimates on the prevalence of the issue help convince doctors and journalists of its scope. F.D.A. approval of the new drug legitimizes the condition as a problem with a medical solution.

The uncertainty for drug makers as this kind of script plays out is whether doctors and the public will buy into a hitherto unrecognized disease, said Alan Cassels, a pharmaceutical policy researcher at the University of Victoria in British Columbia.

“Marketers know you don’t sell the steak, you sell the sizzle,” said Mr. Cassels, the co-author of “Selling Sickness: How the World’s Biggest Pharmaceutical Companies Are Turning Us All Into Patients.”

With premature ejaculation drugs, he said, “It will come down to convincing physicians that this is a serious disease and convincing most men that, if they have unsatisfactory intercourse and they don’t last up to a minute, they have a medical problem.”

Premature ejaculation can be extremely distressing for men, said Dr. Wayne J. G. Hellstrom, a professor of urology at the Tulane University School of Medicine in New Orleans.

“They don’t usually last in their relationships,” said Dr. Hellstrom, who has consulted for Johnson & Johnson.

The International Society for Sexual Medicine, a professional association, has developed a definition for premature ejaculation. It is a condition “characterized by ejaculation which always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of vaginal penetration,” and which is accompanied by feelings of distress and lack of control.

Sciele’s spray-on drug contains lidocaine and prilocaine, which act on sensory nerve endings in the penis, said Dr. Mike Wiley, director of urology for Sciele.

The company studied the product on several hundred men who had a typical ejaculation time of about 36 seconds, Dr. Wiley said. After using the product, the typical time from penetration to ejaculation was about 2.6 minutes — about a two minute increase.

While there is no doubt that some men are distressed about their inability to control their orgasms, there is little concrete evidence to suggest that there is an epidemic of premature ejaculation.

In response to a query from this reporter, a public relations representative for Sciele sent material to back up the claim that one in three American men suffer from this affliction. One study, a 1999 report on sexual dysfunction in the United States, has been disputed by some sexologists because it was based on a sociology survey from 1992 that included questions about issues like fidelity — but was not created by epidemiologists to answer sexual health questions.

Dr. Hellstrom at Tulane said perhaps 20 to 30 percent of men experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lifetimes.

BUT Leonore Tiefer, a clinical associate professor in the psychiatry department at the New York University School of Medicine, said drug makers were increasingly trying to medicalize parts of daily life — whether it be mood, sleep or sexual function — in which there is a healthy and wide variation of normal.

“Rapid ejaculation as opposed to slow ejaculation is common, but there is slow and fast everything in the world: slow and fast walkers, slow and fast eaters, slow and fast breathers,” said Dr. Tiefer, who is a psychologist specializing in sexual problems. “When you tell someone they are a fast ejaculator, it makes it sound like there is a right time to ejaculate and, if you ejaculate before, it’s a medical problem.”

She added: “It is going to become a problem once enough publicity is given to it.”