Guy Fawkes Day, Bonfire Night

Bonfire Night November 5^th & Guy Fawkes effigy

The Photo: An English tradition, bonfires on Guy Fawkes Day to celebrate the foiling of the gunpowder plot by Roman Catholic activists to blow up the Palace of Westminster during the state opening of Parliament on November 5, 1605.

Bonfire Night 2015: Why do we celebrate fireworks night? Who was Guy Fawkes?

“Every year on November 5th, the anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot, Catholic explosive expert Guy Fawkes is remembered and Britain celebrates the Houses of Parliament remaining intact.” The complete article from the Telegraph can be read HERE

Fireworks on Bonfire night: We had intended to drive over to Hampstead Heath which overlooks central London from the North West to view the fireworks. However, we had a better offer from Alexei the Russian expatriate who is a friend and neighbor to my London home, Blackthorn House, in Eaton Square, Belgravia. He has an office on a top floor of a building in The City at 30 St Mary Axe (fondly known as The Gherkin) which is currently the 10^th tallest building in London at 590 feet and is a just few blocks north east of the Tower of London. Alexi, his daughter Veronika, the Dryads (Bryony and Claire), Bea who had come down from Cambridge and I all piled into my Bentley and one of my bodyguards drove us into the financial heart of London. Alexei’s office has a South West view –looking up river - so we had an amazing view of central London along the Thames and the fireworks. Alexi had lain on a massive feast: caviar from the Caspian Sea, French Champaign, prawns on ice and a standing beef roast and scandalously decadent desserts! It was all delicious, but a man’s menu almost all protein with only a tray of mixed veggies.  It all tasted delicious, but it meant more time in the studio to burn off the extra calories.

Anti-capitalist protest: Protestors wearing a Guy Fawkes masks during the 'Million Masks March', on Bonfire night struggled with police. 50+ protestors were arrested several police were hurt and a police car was set afire. Fortunately the area where we were (the financial district) was quiet and like the three wise men we arrived from the east and left for home the same way. It was a long roundabout route, but we avoided the protestors and there was little congestion.

Christmas at Blackthorn Castle: I’ve been away from the castle for almost a year aside from occasional quick inspections of the construction underway. The construction is now complete and signed off on so the usual quiet has returned to the mountain top on which the castle has perched for hundreds of years. My predecessors, Edith, 22^nd Baroness Blackthorn and all the women preceding her, always had a grand Christmas party for the villagers who live below the castle and provide the labor and trades which keep the Barony of Blackthorn running smoothly and I’m expected to continue the tradition.

Charles, my Chamberlain of the Household and Estate Manager of the Barony, and I met this week to discuss his plans for the Barony’s 2015 Christmas party. He came down to London on Estate business and we had a productive two hour planning meeting and settled most issues. I don’t plan to change much (if anything) as the Holiday decorations and festivities have gone well (according to Edith’s diary) for years so I see no need to change a plan that is already wildly successful.

Y NADOLIG (Christmas): The custom in many parts of Wales was to attend a very early church service known as "Plygain" (daybreak), between 3am and 6am. [What I’ve always thought of as a ‘Sunrise service’.] Men gathered in rural churches to sing, mainly unaccompanied, three or four part harmony carols in a service that went on for three hours or so. The custom managed to survive in many country areas, and because of its simplicity and beauty is being revived in many others. Charles along with the local Vicar is bringing it back and it has become popular with the villagers. After the service, a day of feasting and drinking begins and we are trying to curb the excessive use of alcohol with games, but not so as to deprive the men of their pints and ciggis.

While slow to catch on in rural Wales since it’s introduction was only a hundred and fifty years ago the Christmas Tree, an imported tradition from Germany in Queen Victoria’s time, has become popular in the village and the lighting of the castle’s tree has always been popular as there is time off from work and plenty to eat. Too, there is an open house on Christmas Eve with a serving line for roast beef and lamb as well as deserts for all the villagers and the Baroness personally greets as many members of the village as can come.  

Christmas guests from the west: I’m looking forward to having a great friend from Las Vegas with me for Christmas. Anya and a group of her male friends from the same agency for which she is a trouble shooter will be staying with me at the castle for several weeks. She is bringing young men with very active libidos who have been in the field on assignment where they had little opportunity for sexual release except for Rosie Palm and her five sisters since we will be short of men and I’m always in the mood to have PVI with new men. Marvin, Morning Wood, and Bea will be down from Cambridge, but I’m not sure whether Nikolai will be able to get off from his casting at the ROH as he has already taken a good bit of personal time and The Holidays are when the Ballet makes most of their money (the Nutcracker) for the year.

Thanksgiving in the UK: It seems strange to contemplate celebrating Thanksgiving in the UK this year. I should be CD13 then and very fertile. Nikolai is busy performing with the ballet so he won’t be readily available. I thought if I wanted to see Marvin I would have to go up to Cambridge and spend a day or two with him. However, I found Trinity College will be on Holiday (for Thanksgiving!) from 24 November to 30 November so he can come down to London! I was blown away to find that Thanksgiving is now being celebrated by a lot of Anglo-American families and other Brits as a Holiday to brighten the Wintery weather in the UK with no requirement for presents and heavy decorating so the celebrants can just relax. I thought if I went to Cambridge it would create a scandal if I stayed in his rooms, but I could get a place nearby and he could sleep with me there. Now that won’t be necessary as we will be together in London. Though he has promised me that he can get us into the Wren Library after hours where I have always wanted to have sex with him in the stacks.   

 

The funeral

Frenched and denuded rack of lamb

The Photo: These two full racks of lamb have been frenched down to the eye muscle and denuded, so there is no fat or silver skin left. The bones are completely cleaned, exposing almost their full length, and only a delicate morsel of delicious lamb is left. This elegant cut makes a striking presentation when served as a full rack and sliced at the table. But it’s also perfect for quick grilling; the chops can be eaten out of hand at an outdoor party.

There were 300 guests for the reception. My cook, Mrs. Harris, prepared spring rack of lamb with six ribs per serving for the meal held in the great hall of the castle after the funeral. Doing the math 300 guests x 6 ribs each, that’s 113 lambs, if anyone is counting. The lambs were from the Barony’s flocks which are noted for the sweetness of their meat and sought after by up-market restaurants. All the mourners raved about the meal! As well they should as Mrs. Harris also baked her prize winning strawberry scones!

The Funeral:  I’m very pleased to say that the 22^nd Baroness gave a flawless final performance in a staring role and I thought my social début, in a supporting role as her successor, went quite well. I attribute my nearly flawless performance to the fact that Marvin and I fucked for nearly three hours the night before so that I was still boneless and gasping in afterglow when I fell asleep. I was CD28 on Friday and spotting so had a silicone Milex Omniflex inserted for flow control as I began my period on schedule in spite of all the stress this past cycle.

As predicted the weather was wet in the afternoon with the temperature in the low 40s F, but other than the smell of damp wool clothing in the chapel. The Bishop was generous and brief in his remarks about the life of Edith, 22^nd Baroness Blackthorn. Afterward everyone enjoyed themselves celebrating the life of the late Baroness demonstrated primarily by the speed with which they devoured a fine feast. Mid-afternoon His Grace’s party departed in a light rain as the pilot said the flight controllers told him the weather was good enough for their flight back to Inverness. 

Family matters: Seeing Jack departing with Ashley on his arm and almost certainly pregnant, depressed me a bit, but I’m really fond of Marvin and his sperm viability check has come back saying that he has very high quality sperm so we should be good to start trying for a family. No, I have no intention of getting pregnant. Years ago I had some of my eggs harvested and cryogenically stored so Marvin and I will marry at some point and go the IVF route and have a surrogate carry the baby. I hope this doesn’t sound harsh, but having spent my life up to this point keeping my body in top shape for the strain that ballet puts on it I don’t see losing my conditioning for a year or longer with one or more pregnancies and I’m sure I’ll love the baby none the less for not having carried her myself.  

Scavenger hunt: On Monday my Lady’s Maid (think Dresser, who had been with Edith for more than 20 years) and I will begin going through Edith’s things and her most personal and private closets the keys for which the Barony’s solicitors gave me in a sealed packet after the funeral.  Well, that description was probably unkind, but there is no telling what we will find.  I can hardly wait!

Anya and my wards leave for London: Anya took Bea, Willow, Odette and Odile and their escorts back to Blackthorn House in London on the 10:34 from Caersws. That gives the railroad 20 minutes to switch The Dragon in Birmingham to the Euston train arriving at 3:41. For a 3 ½ hour trip I wouldn’t have sent them down on The Dragon, but we never transferred their luggage and they aren’t traveling light so they may as well enjoy the trip while they can be pampered.

Home alone: Finally! Marvin and I are here by ourselves. Well, not exactly as there is the permanent house staff of ten, but they are nearly invisible unless you ring for one so with just the two of us here it is almost lonely. The servants in descending order of importance are:

Females: A staff of six: the Housekeeper, Mrs. Wallace; the Cook, Mrs. Harris; Emily, my Lady’s Maid/Dresser; two Housemaids and a Kitchenmaid. 

Males: A staff of four:  Charles, Chamberlain of the Household (Estate Steward); the Butler, Mr. Harris, the cook’s husband; a Footman/chauffer and an under-footman.

I’ve already spoken with His Grace about a Valet for Marvin. Marvin insists he doesn’t want one, but a secretary/Valet might be more acceptable and His Grace has a man he can recommend. Marvin is amazed at the labor needed and Edith the 22^nd hardly entertained at all in the last few years. I don’t propose to try to out Downton Downton Abbey, but if I can afford it and I’m expected to entertain why not do it properly and in style?

My Welsh roots

Saint Canna Born c. AD 510

The photo: St. Canna Born c. AD 510 (Welsh: Cenaf; English: Candice) an obscure Welsh saint, “Canna was a Breton princess, traditionally a daughter of Tewdwr Mawr ap Emyr Llydaw. This man, however, appears to have actually been the grandson, rather than the son, of Emyr Llydaw (Budic II) and was probably the lady's brother. She married her cousin, Prince Sadwrn, a man somewhat her elder, and, together, they became the parents of St. Crallo. … Depictions of her in art holding a staff which miraculously flowers may suggest a lost legend, similar to that of St. Ciaran's mother, whereby, upon feeling the pangs of childbirth, she grasped at a dry rowan stick which immediately burst into leaf. Which child this would refer to is unknown.” St. Canna is the patron saint of the religious order associated with my ancestors Barony. The complete article from David Nash Ford’s Early British Kingdoms can be read: HERE.

In search of my paternal ancestors: I’ve had the lawyers handling my trust open the archive (housed in a Charleston, WVa bank) of my natural father who we are trying to prove was my mother’s legal husband. His estate passed in its entirety to me on his death when I was in my 20s. Now there seems to be a possibility that through him I could succeed to the heredity title which can be passed down through the female line to an ancient but obscure Welsh Barony if we can prove that he actually married my mother. In my biological father’s archive is a copy of a marriage license issued in Wales in 1970, but the College of Arms wanted to see the records in the church where the wedding supposedly took place. We already know my DNA matches the DNA from his great, great, great grandmother who was the 22^nd Baroness “Blackthorn” [a nom de plume so as not to complicate my life further] who lived in seclusion in the mountains of southern Wales. I’m told the Barony is extremely valuable for its minerals and timber.

Hereditary peerage: “The mode of inheritance of a hereditary peerage is determined by the method of its creation. Titles may be created by writ of summons or by letters patent. The former is merely a summons of an individual to Parliament—it does not explicitly confer a peerage—and descent is always to heirs of the body, male and female. The latter method explicitly creates a peerage and names the dignity in question. Letters patent may state the course of descent; normally, only male heirs are allowed to succeed to the peerage. A child is deemed to be legitimate if its parents are married at the time of its birth or marry later; only legitimate children may succeed to a title, and furthermore, an English, Irish, or British (but not Scottish) peerage can only be inherited by a child born legitimate, not legitimated by a later marriage.

Normally, a peerage passes to the next holder on the death of the previous holder. However, Edward IV introduced a procedure known as a writ of acceleration, whereby it is possible for the eldest son of a peer with multiple titles to sit in the House of Lords by virtue of one of his father's subsidiary dignities.

A person who is a possible heir to a peerage is said to be "in remainder". A title becomes extinct (an opposite to extant, alive) when all possible heirs (as provided by the letters patent) have died out, i.e., there is nobody in remainder at the death of the holder. A title becomes dormant if nobody has claimed the title, or if no claim has been satisfactorily proven. A title goes into abeyance if there is more than one person equally entitled to be the holder.” For more see the article HERE.

Helicopter to Llanidloes: And so it was that His Grace and Jack flew with me (in the Duke’s helicopter) to Llanidloes, Wales in the Cambrian Mountains, which is the closest town of any size to Blackthorn castle and it still required a ninety minute drive off the A470 up narrow mountain roads to reach the place. A representative of the law firm representing the Barony met us at the castle and we found there was ample room to have flown directly in from Inverness if we had enough fuel. We also learned the Barony has a private rail car housed at the station in Caersws in which the Baroness traveled back and forth to London and elsewhere in the UK.

A representative of the College of Arms had come up from London to interview me and went with us to Blackthorn I suppose to make sure we didn’t tamper with records in the muniment rooms of the castle and chapel. At His Grace’s suggestion the solicitors for the Barony had already searched for marriages conducted in the chapel in 1970 and there was only one performed which was by a local priest. The Representative of the COA examined the registry and seals and determined that the prescribed amounts had been paid, signatures scrawled and seals attached so that indeed my mother and the man who I grew up thinking was my uncle was in fact my father. And doing the math she was probably two months pregnant with me at the time.

Saint Canna: In the information about her there is nothing to suggest St. Candice (as I tend to think of her) was in any way a disciplinarian. However, she is patron saint of a religious community of women living in a surprisingly large medieval Priory the early parts of which date to the 11^th centaury.  The Priory is on Blackthorn Barony land within a few miles of the Baroness’s relatively small but superbly constructed 13^th C. castle that had never been captured by force of arms. And since the Barony is prosperous the castle and Priory have been kept well maintained with its small village of artisans and servants who work primarily at the castle living nearby.

Blackthorn Priory: The name Blackthorn comes from the blackthorn trees common in the area. Blackthorn wood has long been associated with witchcraft, and it is said that witches' wands and staffs were made using blackthorn wood. The Priory is part of the Barony of Blackthorn and the office of Prioress of the Order is in the gift of the Baroness Blackthorn. Maintenance of the priory and the Order are paid for from a small percentage of the profit from the minerals mined on the Baronial estates. The Order of St Canna stresses discipline, obedience and service.  Blackthorn priory’s primary function seems to be to raise female foundlings selectively chosen from the slums of major cities in the UK.  Their schools taught by Sisters who have attended the best universities, prepare the girls for university educations and socialize the young girls through exchange programs with other elite public (read private) schools in the UK.

Blackthorn Priory girls are a well kept secret even though they have been outperforming male colleagues since the 22^nd Baroness began placing them strategically in the late 1950s. They are beautiful, intelligent, talented, assertive and worldly. Over the years they have been quietly placed in areas of responsibility in industry, the arts, science and education as well as security a field not normally thought of as having women subject matter experts, but an area in which they excel.

His Grace thinks the COA will approve the paperwork to grant permission for me to succeed to the title and style of Baroness Blackthorn rather quickly as there now seem to be no impediments to moving forward. However, the representative from the COA was less entheuastic saying that for any change to appear in the Court Circular will take quite a while. The lawyers for the Barony are pushing for speedy approval as there are estate questions that need to be resolved by whoever the new owner turns out to be and I’m the only legitimate candidate.