Sex with a Succubus - the dead wife fantasy

Jenna’s Bloch Alpha S0104 ¾ outer sole pointes

The Photo: My New psychiatrist’s, dead wife, Jenna’s, size 4 ½ Bloch pointes she wore throughout her cycle except when menstrual. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post when menstrual she wore a 5 ½ in Bloch Alphas.

The dead wife fantasy: In my experience some virile men after losing a mate to death seek solace in fantasy sex and it happens more than you might think. But they often feel guilty about cheating on the memory of their mate. Brad’s wife had been a ballet dancer with the San Francisco Ballet when they met and married while he was in med school. He has photos of her in practice clothes and costumes in his condo and she was a lovely 27 y/o with a Balanchine body (long legs and neck, short trunk, small head and breasts and relatively big feet) when she died. He has repeatedly told me how much I look like her and from the photos of her in his home I could be her identical twin.

It turns out that beautiful Brad has a very active imagination and one of his fantasies is that I’m his dead wife and when we are alone he calls me Jenna. He has given me permission to use her dressing room and bathroom in their Condo when I share his bed. And I’m encouraged if not required to wear her clothes, jewelry and perfume. Nothing in her suite had been touched, except to be dusted and her last dirty laundry was still in her hamper with her scent still on it. I went through her lingerie drawers and closets and I have very similar tastes to hers. She had nursing bras and was still breast feeding when she died so we have that in common too. And just like me she also wore LilyPadz breast pads to help with leaking nipples. 

I meet him at his Condo for our sexual and psychotherapy sessions. Jenna’s small studio with a Marley floor, barre and mirrored wall was converted from a bedroom and can be reached through a connecting door from her dressing room.  I change into her practice clothes which fit me wonderfully well, empty my bowels and bladder, insert one of her Omniflex diaphragms and my sports plug and wear her scent. I come out of her dressing room into the studio where he is waiting for me and only then put on my pointes (Jenna’s Bloch Alphas) where he can watch. All during these sessions he calls me Jenna. After a 20 minute warm-up I change into her stripping costume and back in the studio put on Beautiful Dreamer which was one of Jenna’s favorites. The routine is about 3.5 minutes long and leaves me wearing only my Alpha pointes and plug.

I had intended to wear my own pointes as she wore Bloch in a slightly smaller size and I like hard shanked Gaynors when I’m having sex on my toes since then I don’t have to worry about proper technique and can put my weight on my heels and enjoy being made love to and concentrate on timing my orgasm with my partner’s which is always special being hurled into ecstasy simultaneously. But all that changed, at least while I’m Jenna and recently when I’ve gone clubbing with Brad while dressed in her things. When I tried on her Bloch Alphas I found that I love how they fit and with the ¾ outsole how well they display my high arches! I do just a tiny glamour charm – it’s easy to do with today’s cosmetics - so to him my face and body look and feel and my voice sounds exactly like Jenna’s. When I do that he is in my power and I can do anything I want with him or to him.

His penis is massive! It's wonderfully hard and dripping pre-ejaculate when I finish stripping down to my pointes and plug. He is so ready to take me!  I let him back me against the barre, remove my sports plug and slip it into my mouth as I fondle his testicles all snugged tight against his pubic bone with one hand and caress his nipples with the other while I suck my own secretions off my sports plug before I turn, to face the barre, go on pointe in second position, bend over and grip the barre with both hands and band over and relax my pelvic muscles as much as possible while on my toes so he can enter me. Jenna was one of the few classical dancers who had started wearing plugs to intensify male interest (she was fitted at Gepettos, I checked, and she bought it 6 months before she was killed) so I wonder how faithful Jenna may have been. But I’m certainly not going to mention that to Brad. I’m using my own sports plug as each is custom made to fit the wearer’s pelvic anatomy. Sucking on my sports plug muffles my screams if he rams my cervix tip to tip.

Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex: I’ve written about this before but it bears repeating as there are readers of this blog who try to imitate my use of footwear, often to their sorrow after injuring themselves. Wearing Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex should not be attempted by inexperienced women. Alpha pointes are for women very experienced in pointework advanced pre-professional students or at the professional level and then only by ones with very strong feet. Brad so wants me to wear her shoes when I’m on my toes while we make love, I was skeptical, but I’m glad I agreed to try as I love wearing her shoes! She had almost finished preparing a new order of shoes with ribbons and elastics so she has almost two dozen pairs. Many have already been broken in and are ready to go.

She had lost her baby weight and regained her stamina, I can tell from the level of her Chi, so she was planning a return to performing in the near future when she died though from her aura I can tell she hadn’t told Brad she was returning to performing professionally again. I’m so entheuastic about the Alpha style I’m going to selectively put some of my wards and women escort trainees in Alphas to increase the difficulty of their training. Both Bea and Willow have Giselle feet and strong arches and Bea could use the additional challenge so I’m going to introduce both of them to the Alpha style which I think they will like.

Channeling a ghost: I wear the same scents she wore; vanilla, Chanel #5 and Shalimar. I use the heavy spicy scent sparingly mixed with my fertile musk and dab it on my pulse points a combination that ensnares men from the slightest whiff.  Her tights and leotards fit me perfectly and she had quite a few thong-back leos for practice and to play in w/o tights or with tights over her TB leo for quick access just like I do! It is scary how seemingly alike we are! It’s as though she has gone away for the weekend and I’m just taking her place temporarily. Thought of like that everything seems almost normal for a new white hot infatuation. Over time however while the intensity of Brad’s obsession has only increased my need to test his stamina and exhaust him while I’m channeling Jenna has become troubling.

When we’re alone at his place he has me dress in her clothes. Often he wants me barelegged in a thong back long sleeve turtleneck leotard and Alpha pointes as he conducts my therapy session. In her clothes and with her Milex inserted I can feel her presence guiding me and telling me the little things she did that enchanted him so, like forcing her tongue under his foreskin to caress his glans before he becomes aroused and massively erect. He is so into that fantasy when I’m kneeling between his legs with my tongue sheathed by his foreskin as I gently caress his testicles! I’m sure that my being a ballet dancer as well as a sexuality expert was why he approached me to work with him in his study of hypersexuality. He was taught by the Psychiatrist I helped years ago when he was studying habitual sexual offenders and I’m certain my name and contribution to that study came up.  

Even at my age I can easily pass for being in my very early 30s so physically there is very little difference between the in-shape 27 y/o in the photos and me as an in-shape and very well preserved 43 y/o classical ballet dancer. Except that I’m much tighter than she ever was! I was thrilled to hear that! I don’t think he intended to tell me, but it sort of slipped out between gasps the first time I ripple gripped him. When we first met I immediately sensed he was hoping for an intimate relationship as well as an assistant since he kept telling me how much I look like her. I know I’m repeating myself, but he just tells me that over and over! He says he knows he can’t bring her back, but wants so badly to relive some of their most intense times together. However, there is a much darker side to Brad’s fantasy with me being Jenna.

Jenna as a Succubus: From Wikipedia: “A succubus is a female demon or supernatural entity in folklore (traced back to medieval legend) that appears in dreams and takes the form of a human woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual activity. The male counterpart is the incubus. Religious traditions hold that repeated sexual activity with a succubus may result in the deterioration of health or even death.

In modern fictional representations, a succubus may or may not appear in dreams and is often depicted as a highly attractive seductress or enchantress; whereas, in the past, succubi were generally depicted as frightening and demonic.”

The sex is so intense for us both that in the last few days, as I’ve spent more time as Jenna, I’ve begun to see signs of him physically weakening. He is now on Cialis and topical testosterone, which are helping his stamina to some extent. I’m beginning to think Jenna ghost is not as benign as either of us once thought because when I’m channeling her I’m insatiable! Not that I mind for myself as I’m enjoying the experience. But when I’ve drained Brad and know I should let him rest her control over my libido has me keep going sucking out all his fluids and keeping him erect for hours at a time until he is bordering on Priapism except that I’m continuously stimulating him and his penis is so sore, but neither of us want to stop. When I’m, or is it Jenna who is eventually sated Jenna aura fades and Brad will collapse and fall into a deep sleep of twelve to sixteen hours, which has played havoc his practice of psychiatry.

 

 

 

A rape fantasy insemination Pt II

A Lorelei guest on a dive outing to Lake Mead

The Photo: The Lorelei’s insemination guest encased in a Hunter Gates Pro-AM 1050 Drysuit on a dive outing to Lake Mead. The suit and Interspiro FFM were borrowed from the selection at The Lorelei since she didn’t bring a drysuit and didn’t want to have to clean her FFM after diving the lake.

Baby sitting: I’ve ended up showing Jacques’ Lichtenstein insemination princess around the area while she isn’t busy with Jacques. It’s ironic how I’m trying my best to keep from becoming preggers by that beautiful man from him planting his seed in me and she is here trying to conceive by the same man! Go figure! I’ve sort of rationalized him fucking her by telling myself it’s his job. He is good at it and has fun making a living that way so I’m happy for him, and I do have him to myself most of the time. For purposes of writing about her I’ll call her “Semeni.”

Semeni’s rape: I watched from the voyeur viewing room (behind the mirrored glass wall in the ballet studio) the other day when they had their first rape encounter. She was in a black latex Rubber 55 catsuit, gloves, hood and black satin Repetto La Carlotta toe-shoes. She looked lovely and as though she just might be able to defend herself. Jacques looked so virile wearing his oiled Lash Leathers and rubber soled steel toed boots as he watched her warm up at the barre. The scenario was that he was a drifter who had found his way inside The Lorelei (it’s impossible for a stranger to get through three levels of security) and has a thing for lithe dancers so when he opened the studio door and found her at the barre he immediately came on to her. She watched him approach and went up onto her toes so she would appear taller. She is 6’2” en pointe so with Jacques at 6’4” she could almost look him in the eye.

He tried to touch her hand and she pulled it away, but didn’t back up and he moved further into her space. Her feet were in second position and she saw his eyes drop to her exposed crotch so she tried to close her feet into sous-sus - fifth position sur les pointes - but he was quicker and she found his hand between her legs as her thighs came together pushing his thumb deeper into the soft flesh of her vulva. She gasped and slapped him which rocked his head, but didn’t move him back an inch. She opened her legs again to try to pull his hand out of her crotch and tried to knee him but he turned and deflected her knee which bounced off his thigh. By then she was tilted at an angle against the barre and grabbed the barre to steady herself while trying to pound his chest with a balled up fist or slapping him with an open palm. At that point she had been struggling for about four minutes when he hit her in the solar plexus with his fist knocking the wind out of her and she collapsed back against the barre.

Forced entry: While she was winded he pulled down her crotch zipper inserted his fingers and ripped the crotch of her catsuit. By the time she could breathe again he had spun her around and opened her back zipper pulling it down mid way then pulled the rubber catsuit off her shoulders and down around her upper arms pinning her arms to her sides. He was very fast and except for her legs she was immobilized in seconds. She was so rubber legged that she couldn’t stand much less use her legs to defend her self so he just draped her over the barre and checked her for lube – I could see her FCM glistening on his fingers and her labia so I knew she was ready to be penetrated. I watched fascinated as he unzipped the crotch of his Lash Leathers folded back the protective tongue and eased himself out of his cup. He was already massively erect and dripping pre-cum as he spread her labia and positioned his tip at the entrance to her vagina and pushed. I could tell from the angle at which he entered her that with a single powerful stroke he had under-thrust her diaphragm and penetrated her fully as her eyes went wide in amazement and she moaned. Then she gasped and screamed when his glans rammed the soft open tissue of her ripe cervix. She squirmed trying to adjust her hips and pull herself off the barre, but Jacques kept pushing her back down. By that time her feet were in second again and her chest was resting on the folds of her rubber suit that were between the barre and her breasts.

Semeni’s orgasms: Jacques was holding on to her rubber sheathed hips and driving his shaft into her lifting her off her platforms at the maximum depth of his thrusts and I could hear the thud as the flesh of their pelvises smacked together and she screamed every time he rammed her cervix. I was waiting for it and just like I told her both shanks of her Repetto pointes shattered. They broke the third time he dropped her onto he toes as he withdrew and she sank even further into her shoes decreasing whatever little control she had over how her hips were positioned. I was sitting just on the other side of the mirror and her latex hooded head was within a foot of the mirror so I got to watch her facial expression and the saliva and snot drain from her mouth and nose to pool on the Marley beneath her as Jacques had his way with her.

About the time her shanks broke Jacques hit his stride, found her G-spot and took her to a shuddering, moaning, screaming orgasm. But that wasn’t the end of their encounter. He kept pounding her cervix and her screams became louder and more plaintive and then suddenly the tenor of her screams changed and I knew she had passed her pain thresholds and was about to have a cervical orgasm. I had never seen another woman be taken to a cervical orgasm before and her face was dripping sweat snot was bubbling from her nostrils and her body wasn’t just quivering she was shaking violently and then she began a long high pitched scream as he tipped her over the edge into a cervical orgasm. He finished inside her just before she fainted. Jacques told me later that Semeni has very strong muscle contractions when she orgasms, though, he was quick to point out that they were not nearly as strong as mine.

He stayed inside her for a few minutes as she regained consciousness and they both tried to catch their breaths. Then he withdrew, he was still erect (I love his ability to do that) and inserted his fingers in her vagina to ensure the rim of her diaphragm was back against the anterior wall to make sure it would fit in her pubic notch when her vagina returned to its unaroused state. He helped her to strip out of her ruined catsuit and she helped him out of his Lash leathers, then he took her immediately to bed for a post coitial nap while his little swimmers made their way into her tubes. He said later that he was pleased she didn’t try to claw him with her nails and she had actually become affectionate. When I saw her in a bikini as we were dressing in our thermal undies and drysuits during our dive trip to Lake Mead the next morning there were no bruises on her body even from the blow to her solar plexus that subdued her so I was pleased to see that Jacques can defeat a woman w/o seriously harming or marking her.

Rivals: Semeni told me during our dive trip that she really enjoyed being overpowered by Jacques. And she is looking forward to fighting him again. She really is in very good physical condition and was just a bit sore from their encounter. She doesn’t know he is my primary lover and I think I hid my emotions well. She was asking what it was like to be taken by Jacques underwater. I was trying to be objective and let her know how much fun Jacques is w/o coming off as possessive though from the looks she gave me I think she might suspect he is more than a work associate to me. This was the first time she had been with a man as well endowed as he is or experienced a cervical orgasm and she is hoping for more though as everyone says about cervical orgasms getting past the initial pain is a real test.

In all honesty I did think how easy it would be to drown her in an unfortunate diving accident, while the two of us were diving by ourselves. It would have been easy to put something to cause nausea in her sports drink that we use to stay well hydrated while diving then take her out into deep water and go down to 60 or 80 feet where the pressure starts to disorient some divers on regular gas and when she vomits in her FFM she could easily panic especially after I crimp the hose to her suit inflation valve. Then she would only be able to release air from her suit not increase buoyancy to reach the surface and drown before I could help her get to the surface. My psychiatrist thinks my mood swings will stabilize as soon as Semeni returns to Europe.

Rape as a breeding fantasy

Between takes on an early spring photo shoot

The photo: For a few days last week the early mornings were cool here (in the mid 50s) and great weather for wearing latex outdoors, then by noon the temperature was in the 80s and perfect for an early spring photo shoot in swimsuits. The model is wearing a ‘bondage suit’ that the wearer can tie herself into that is mainstream enough to wear in a family setting while exciting bondage lovers with the cords across her back binding her into her suit. I discourage my dancers from wearing that sort of suit as the tan lines show when they wear scanty costumes. It is much better if they wear pasties and a Penetrator, or a similar pelvic plug while tanning which keeps the strategic areas protected from the sun and the male gaze while allowing a lovely uniform tan across the expanses of skin that show in even the smallest costumes.

A rape impregnation fantasy: [Rape: “Having sexual intercourse with a woman or girl forcibly and with out her consent.”] The first of the insemination getaway package guest has arrived at The Lorelei for her six day stay. Her check in was very quickly accomplished as almost all had been done several days ago on-line and her Vuitton wardrobe trunks were sent directly to her suite and unpacked by experienced escort submissives. Adolph uses young female escorts as servants for this service as they are knowledgeable about the desires and needs of clients and if the client needs girl-girl comforting the escort is ready to provide any desired intimate services. The guest is a 27 y/o 125 lb 5’8” brunette from a major banking family in Lichtenstein with royal blood in their veins. She has been a serious ballet student for nearly 20 years and intends to work ballet into her fantasy. It’s not surprising that so many women from western European wealth have ballet as their exercise – it is seen as an elitist art - to keep in excellent physical condition by continuing their training at least three times a week.

She came to The Lorelei intending to fight off the man who is to inseminate her so that if he overwhelms her defenses and she conceives she can rationalize her condition as the result of being raped. In her mind this somehow absolves her of any guilt in having a man other than her husband impregnate her. It also gives her the experience of being sexually dominated by a man after a fight which I’m willing to bet she is looking forward to. She knows that her strict Catholic background will not permit her to abort the fetus even when it is the result of rape and so she is obliged to pretend it is her husbands. Jacques who will impregnate her has the same blood group as her husband even though DNA analysis would easily show that the child is not her husbands. She is confident that her husband will believe anything she tells him and so once pregnant she is safe. Her plan doesn’t withstand rational scrutiny as it is full of wishful thinking and rationalizations, but in her mind it is a plan that meets her spiritual and physical needs and for her that is what counts.

The Breeding Suite: Before she arrived Adolph had given me a tour of the ‘breeding suite’ as he calls it. There is a bedroom, sitting room, a 600 sq ft ballet studio and on the level below is a 20 ft deep encounter pool with a dressing room and storage for SCUBA gear as well as surface fed diving equipment. Adolph is proud of the fact that one entire mirrored glass wall of the ballet studio is one-way glass behind which is a control and viewing room so that the 8 video cams can be operated from there and trainers as well as voyeurs can watch and listen to the activity in the studio.

The plan is to neither offer videos to breeding clients nor sell them through Taryn’s adult media organization as he sees the video records strictly as insurance in case the unexpected happens and a client is unhappy and contemplates going public, or worse. The pool also has an 8 video cam arrangement and the individual views appear on 8 separate HD screens and any one can be switched to a master screen to view the pool or studio action on a screen covering most of one wall. Access to the viewing and video area is by a separate corridor in the restricted section of the facility where I need my cervical barrier ID chip as well as a biometric scan to get into that area.

Right away I knew where I intend to be when Jacques is with this client because I’ve never watched him having sex with any woman much less intentionally ‘baby dancing’ with a client and I have longed to watch him in action. God knows in the time we have been together he has probably taken me far more than a hundred times, but I want to watch him perform taking another woman to orgasm and then filling her with his seed while I masturbate. As far as I know all his breeding encounters have occurred in Europe so I’ve really never had the chance to watch him at work and this opportunity is just too good to pass up! I suppose having Jacques as my main squeeze is the longest I’ve ever been with one man, well sort of, since we met in November of 2009. That’s 16 months a lifetime for me having a single main squeeze, but as readers know both Jacques and I are serially monogamous so we have an open relationship which suits me since I think being truly monogamous is probably not in my genes.

Her fitting: I performed her pelvic exam and fitted her with an Ortho All-Flex silicone diaphragm. Her correct size for contraception is 75 mm but since she is here to conceive I gave her a 65 mm that is to be worn ‘dry’, w/o spermicide in the dome, so Jacques could easily under-thrust the rim. She has excellent nulliparous muscle tone so the 65 mm should be held securely in place by her muscles, rather like a Dumas or vault cap. A diaphragm that small can be felt and uncomfortable for the male partner striking the anterior rim during vanilla recreational sex, particularly if he is taking his partner from behind, but Jacques knows that and he isn’t having vanilla sex he is being paid to impregnate her so for the next 6 days he will be under the rim and inside the dome lubricated by her FCM and thrusting skin-on-skin into her G-spot and her ripe cervix.

Her fantasy: The thing about this first client that worries both Jacques and me is that she wants to be inseminated as part of a rape fantasy with no safe words and she said she intended to fight her rapist and wants to be overpowered. Usually with the rape fantasies that I’ve participated in (as the victim) or watched, or the ones I’ve read about there was a large element of role-play with the recognition that if things got out of hand it could get nasty so the participants had safe words which if uttered would stop the fantasy. With no safe words and a woman determined to struggle unless Jacques decides on his own to stop at some point if things seemed to be going badly this isn’t going to be a fantasy, it would be rape pure and simple, though – possibly – with the aggressor being the woman.

His & Her costumes: The guest chose to wear a black Rubber 55 latex (back entry) catsuit, an open face matching hood and gloves and black Satin Repetto La Carlotta pointes. I tried to get her to switch to Gaynor pointes saying that the shanks of her Carlottas wouldn’t last during an intense ballet-sex encounter, but she wouldn’t listen and insisted on her Repettos, though I did get her fitted in Gaynors with sueded platforms so I will have them as a fallback option if needed. Tanaquil had visited her at the family castle in Lichtenstein and measured her for the catsuits (she bought 6 of them) which is why they fit her perfectly. Jacques had a good look at her fingernails and while they are short he thought they are not short enough to prevent her nails from puncturing the tips of her latex gloves and clawing him with her nails.

Jacques had considered that possibility when he was told she intended to fight so had been fitted with a new set of Gepetto’s best black Lash Leathers designed for protection during fighting with bull whips. His other set were too large as he had been fitted when he came to Vegas more than a year ago and lost weight while training with Anya who taught him to fight, or at least protect himself, with a whip. Although he planned to use the leathers for protection he still needed to be able to penetrate the client so he had the crotch modified so it could be unzipped and a protective leather tongue folded back out of the way allowing him to have skin-on-skin contact between his pelvis and hers. He also knew about how she prepared her pointes darning the edges of the platforms to give her better traction and a more stable base on which to balance. The darning also provides a textured edge that will rip flesh if he is hit by a glancing blow from the platform of her pointe. So a modified set of Lash Leathers was just what he needed to protect against slashing fingernails and the ripping of skin from roughened platforms.

Studio orientation: As I mentioned I had already become involved with the client, fitting her with her All-Flex and giving her advice about which pointe shoes to wear, which she didn’t take, so when both Adolph and Jacques asked me to take her through a pointe class in the Breeding Suites studio and check out her diving equipment and skills and explain the basics dive-sex from a woman’s perspective I agreed. In the studio I had her warm up at the barre that runs the length of the full mirrored wall and suggested she could use it for support. That way she could look to her right or left and watch herself being raped, or made love to depending on your point of view. And Jacques will guide her to that wall also if she forgets because he uses the barre in his encounters as it gives his partner something to hold on to, to steady herself or to drape her over if she faints which he says is common during his encounters. I can testify to the truth of that. It took me about three months of steadily being drilled by him before I could retain enough control that I could prevent myself from fainting while he was giving me a G-spot or cervical orgasm.

She was good on her toes and her Carlottas fit her perfectly. I tested her stamina and after she was en pointe for a minute or two she began to tire and sink into her shoes and put strain on the shanks. When I saw she was beginning to tire I stopped the class and again suggested she switch to Gaynors because I could see that the shanks of her Repettos were probably going to break when Jacques lifted her off the floor with a powerful thrust while taking her from behind and dropped her onto her platforms when he withdrew. She again refused.

Pool orientation: From the studio we moved to the pool. She had brought her Interspiro FFM and regulator with which she had trained so I watched while she connected the regulator and I used my Nitrox compatible Ocean Reef Raptor FFM though we were breathing regular (21% O2) air from 80 cu ft aluminum tanks. I had her insert her All-flex before she put on her SCUBA set which gave me an opportunity to show her how to adjust the crotch of her latex encasement suit to make sure the lower end of the zipper that opened the crotch was positioned properly to allow underwater penetration. I gave her a pair of neutral buoyancy silicone rubber pool-pointes to wear to extend the line of her legs and showed her how to insert and apply DiveGel with the prefilled 10 ml applicators. Once we were in the pool we equalized quickly and sank to the bottom where I showed her how to tether herself to the bottom with ankle leashes and then inflate her buoyancy compensator to hold her snuggly against the leashes with her legs spread. I also had her use a silicone dildo to get the feel of penetrative sex underwater and had her insert a prefilled DiveGel applicator and apply more lube before she took herself to a G-spot orgasm with the vibrating tip. She did well with her pool orientation so she seemed to be ready but each encounter is different so you never know for sure how it will go until it’s over.

We had a discussion about her using DiveGel while being raped during dive-sex. She said she wanted to use only her natural lube which is fine when she is producing FCM and having surface sex, but during sex underwater a woman’s natural lube is quickly washed away. Then the man’s penis becomes a piston moving in and out while gripped by very delicate and unlubricated vaginal tissues and the woman’s vagina quickly becomes raw. Since she wants to be ‘raped’ for the entire 6 days of her stay I think she will probably decide it would be best to lubricate her underwater rape encounters with DiveGel rather than be put out of action the first time she has dive-sex.

A good question: Gigi asked me if it felt funny helping to prepare a woman to be impregnated by the man I sleep with as much as I can. I’ll admit I’m envious of her position, though I’m not sure why since I can have Jacques in exactly the same way at my place almost any time I want. Is that strange or what? I thought I was glad Adolph built this breeding facility so Jacques can work closer to home. Now I’m not so sure. The woman is nice enough, but in all honesty I’m uncomfortable, I wouldn’t call it being jealous, of the women, but the two of us being in the same town suddenly seems a bit too close, at least right now.

Men and pointe shoes

Sweaty Capezio Glisse pointes

Fetishes - Men and pointe shoes: A few posts ago I offered to write about aspects of fetishes that members were particularly interested in that I hadn’t written about before. One subject requested was my experience with men and their fascination with pointe shoes and how they change the male view of a woman. From my experience men seem to think that once she puts on a pair of pink satin pointe shoes a woman changes from just another pretty girl with lovely long legs to a magical creature with a dual personality. One that is beautiful, soft, and feminine, the epitome of grace and strength commanding respect and admiration while at the same time being strong, smart and without shedding a tear capable of breaking him in half with her legs while he is having sex with her.

In pointes she can at times be exquisitely virtuous or unbelievably cruel depending on her moods and men in pointe-awe are in her thrall. To a male in pointe-awe a women en pointe seems infinitely desirable and forever unattainable and he longs for the touch of her fingers or the brush of her lips against his own. He dreams of fondling the engorged shaft of her clitoris nestled in the cleft of her mons veneris to get her aroused wet and ready for penetration as she balances on the platforms of her pointes. He brings her along gasping and quivering as his fingers stroke her raised clitoral shaft while she moans “Take me now” in his ear. His fingers move to the softness of her labia, feeling their warmth and fullness, wet with her natural lubricant as he spreads her inner lips to position his shaft for the thrust that will drive him deep into her hard flat belly. He dreams of driving himself into her depths, impaling her on his massive rod as surely as a butterfly is impaled by a pin to its specimen card in a museum while her legs are wrapped around his waist. And, inside his fantasy ballerina he plants his seed up against her cervix giving his DNA a chance at immortality if he can defeat her contraceptive precautions and impregnate her.

Two endings to a ballerina fantasy: Here I think male fantasies diverge. Some men are just happy to have been given a tight, hot, wet, deep vessel in which to release their seed while others want to dominate the ballerina of their fantasies by getting her pregnant despite her best efforts at contraception, proving (in his mind anyway) that he is a dominant male and since she carries his child she is his property. I think if pressed most men would deny they have any secret wish to impregnate their sexual fantasy, but if it should happen and she told him she was pregnant by him I’ll bet he would smile, give a fist pump and a Shout, “YES!” as that would be proof of his potency. Only then he would decide what to do about his fantasy ballerina’s situation before she got her baby bump and she was forced to take a leave of absence from dancing if she wasn’t fired. Of course left to make her own decision a woman having devoted ten or fifteen years of her life to a successful career as a ballet dancer would almost certainly terminate any accidental pregnancy and continue with her career showing her lover the indomitable and perhaps darker side of her being.

Men have confided that another common masturbation fantasy is having sex with a ballerina in a tutu and pointe shoes. Special thong-back fetish tutus are made for escorts or girlfriends who want to cater to this male fantasy. The tutu when viewed from above represents a seemingly impossible barrier to get past. However, when viewed from below the thong panty covers her vulva when she raises a leg in développé, arabesque or attitude, but when she raises en pointe and bends over her partner can ease the thong to one side exposing her vulva, spread her labia and penetrate her fully with a single massive thrust.

Toe-shoe scents: Then there are the more kinky aspects of pointe-shoe worship. Things like smelling the aroma of a dancer’s estrogenic sweat soaked pointes with the scent of damp leather, fabric and melted paste. That’s why so many men with pointe fetishes like their favorite fantasy dancer(s) to wear shoes made of traditional materials; satin, leather, paper and paste. High-tech pointes like Gaynors have their own fetish following, but the scents from a pair of sweat dampened GMs is nowhere near as rich with the full-bodied mixing of scents as are a freshly used pair of, say, Freed Classic pointes.

Semen and pointe shoes: Another kink in pointe shoe worship is ejaculating in a favorite fantasy ballerina’s toe-shoes. There are several ways to do that. If the man has a pair of his fantasy ballerina’s pointes purchased from one of the ballet company boutiques or just bought a pair from a local dance shop to use as a pleasure talisman he can ejaculate in them directly with no consequences other than his own sexual pleasure. If however, he wants to come in a girlfriends pointes that she is still using for rehearsals and class then she may let him squirt semen directly in the boxes.

Silicone toe pads

Toe pads: Or, she might want him to fill her toe pads with semen. Pointe shoe toe pads are made from a number of different materials, lambs wool, acrylic fleece, gel between layers of fabric and silicone gel pads among other things. Different dancers prefer different materials for toe protection during performances, but one thing most of us agree on is using silicone gel pads as containment vessels when semen is involved. With silicone gel pads no semen is absorbed by the material, the semen pools in the bottom of the pad and there is no evaporation as it mixes with the dancers sweat and toe cheese (the paste of skin cells that are rubbed off calluses and the lint from tights mixed with blood or puss from injured toes).

For the rest of this toe pad discussion I’ll be talking about a dancer using silicone gel pads for her lover to come in. Filling a ballerina’s toe pads will concentrate the man’s load (about 5-7ml a bit more than a teaspoon full) in a pool at the bottom of the toe cup so that when she pushes her toes into the pad his semen squishes up between her toes. The toe pads are worn under convertible foot tights so once a lover fills her pads with semen it is easy to slip her bare toes into the fluid filled pads and then pull the foot of the tights back over the pads to hold them in place.

Silicone pads under tights has become the preferred method of wearing pointe shoe ejaculate in Vegas if the man wants his ballerina escort to dance in semen filled pointes. His load contained in her protective pads might lengthen the life of her shoes a tiny bit as it is less fluid softening the boxes. However, a far greater advantage of ejaculating into silicone toe pads is that after she dances the pads can be used as part of a gag (for either him or her) or as part of an erotic strip-tease after which the man can suck on her sweaty pads tasting his lovers estrogenic sweat and toe cheese as he thrusts into her G-spot or cervix. A clean set of toe pads should be used for each client. Any dancer using a topical anesthetic like Nupercainal cream should be sure to keep these medicated pads stored separately to prevent giving her lover toe-pads to suck on that had anesthetic cream in them.

Dancers with lovers into toe-play need to keep in mind that calluses on a girls un-taped toes immersed in semen filled toe pads will soften quicker so that sort of game should be played only briefly or when she has no major performances coming up so that if her calluses deteriorate she can recover before she needs the toe protection her calluses provide.

Toe pads as souvenirs: I know we are talking eroticism here, but from an economic standpoint the substitution of toe pads as souvenirs rather than the pointe shoes an escort was wearing during a commercial encounter has certain advantages. First it makes the souvenir less noticeable when the TSA or his wife is searching a clients luggage and second it reduces the cost considerably as there was often a lot of life left in an escort’s pointes that were being given away after a 5K encounter. However, if the client asks the escort will give him the shoes she was wearing when he inseminated her.

Pointework, gender and desire

pointework, femininity and fantasy

The New York Times
August 4, 2010
By ALASTAIR MACAULAY

For Ballet, Plots Thicken, or Just Stick?

“DEAR friends,” the retired ballerina Gelsey Kirkland wrote in an open letter on the Web site for the new Gelsey Kirkland Academy of Classical Ballet (gelseykirklandballet.org), “I have come to believe over the years that the future of ballet lies in the art of dramatic storytelling, drawing on the wellsprings of classical tradition.” The school’s mission statement underscores this belief: “To encourage a renaissance of dramatic storytelling in ballet by providing specialized training for gifted students and by establishing a classically oriented studio company capable of creating new dramatic works.”

Ballet, as Ms. Kirkland knows, has been telling dramatic stories since at least the 18th century. Yet throughout that time storytelling has often been uphill work for ballet. The pure-dance sections, which provide a release from the acting and mime portions, slow down the narrative, putting a story ballet on pause for long periods. And the ballets that have pared away pure dance to maintain a constant narrative thrust have seldom achieved lasting popularity or classic status.

Some of the complaints in the 18th century were just the same as those today: too much dancing or not enough; some stories make incomplete sense while others seem unsuited to dance; some star dancers are poor actors. Ms. Kirkland may or may not be right about ballet’s future, but she and her fellow believers certainly have their work cut out for them.

Nowhere more than in narrative has ballet become the land of low expectations. Audiences regularly sit through a poverty of dance-narrative expression that they would never tolerate in a movie, a novel, an opera, a play or even a musical. I will defend the escapism of “The Nutcracker,” but I cringe at the sensationalism, the triteness and the ham that characterize the majority of story ballets, works like “Don Quixote,” “Le Corsaire” and “La Bayadère.” “Spartacus,” the Bolshoi Ballet’s biggest hit of the last half-century, reduces its freedom-fighting story to the dimensions of trash (irresistible and sensational trash in the right performance), as enjoyable as “Flash Gordon” and scarcely more serious.

Interestingly, Ms. Kirkland’s words come just as a wave of narrative dance drama has been gathering force. At New York City Ballet — the company that consistently did the most to propagate plotlessness in 20th-century classical ballet — the past season was mainly given over to full-evening story ballets. Of the eight new ballets produced by the company so far in 2010, each by different choreographers, four have been storytelling, while a fifth, Alexei Ratmansky’s “Namouna,” has arcane suggestions of narrative.

Mr. Ratmansky, who is also American Ballet Theater’s artist in residence, has created ballets with and without stories. But mainly with, and his storyless ballets have often implied characters, incidents, nonabstract situations. His first Ballet Theater creation, “On the Dnieper” (2009), was a rare Prokofiev love story, while currently he is preparing the company’s new “Nutcracker” and also its first production of his 2003 comedy “The Bright Stream”: narratives both.

Christopher Wheeldon, though he came to fame with plotless ballets (notably “Polyphonia” in 2001), has been of late increasingly preoccupied with stories, like “Estancia,” which had its premiere at City Ballet this season, and next year’s “Alice in Wonderland,” which the Royal Ballet will stage. Meanwhile (though outside ballet) the choreographer with the greatest international box office success is Matthew Bourne, who has made nothing but full-length narratives since 1994. (His “Swan Lake” returns to New York for a month in the fall at City Center.)

So it is indeed story time. What stories, though? In “Estancia,” “Namouna,” Benjamin Millepied’s “Why am I not where you are,” Alexey Miroshnichenko’s “Lady With the Little Dog” and Melissa Barak’s “Call Me Ben,” ballet is stuck merely in romantic-comedy variations on the same old “boy seeks girl, boy finds girl” ballet situation.

Today the traditional “Swan Lake” is usually played like a sentimental “women’s” movie: the swan-queen Odette gives her heart to Prince Siegfried even though he promptly proves himself Prince Wrong by plighting his troth to her wicked lookalike Odile, and of course the martyred Odette then goes on loving him. But both scenario and choreography are more interesting than that: they leave it wholly ambiguous about whether she ever returns his love. She merely needs him to love her so that she may find release from swan form; and the choreography, which focuses on her indecision, shows just how mixed her feelings are about committing herself to accepting his support.

In her constant need to keep withdrawing from him, and her muted response to his ardor, the real suggestion that used to emerge was that she felt unable ever fully to respond to him, as if sensing a reluctant frigidity within herself that she could not eradicate. That’s a far more interesting psychodrama that the one we usually see onstage today.

The expressive possibilities of ballet are increasingly constricted today by the way it hinges on the dichotomy of gender. Once the genre acquired pointework in the early 19th century, it acquired a tragic dimension. A heroine on point is existentially different from the hero; she becomes the Other.

It has sometimes been said that adultery was the great subject of the 19th-century novel. Well, adultery was the great fantasy underlying most of the great 19th-century ballets too. The hero, though engaged or married to one woman, couldn’t help loving another (whom of course he could never, ever marry because she was a sylph or working class — never, at any rate, the kind he could take home to meet Mama). To the hero and to the audience, pointework said, “in your dreams.” The heroine of “La Sylphide,” “Giselle,” “La Bayadère,” “Swan Lake” and many other ballets was what the hero thought he wanted but knew he couldn’t have.

In the last century the male-female dichotomy made for yet more remarkable drama. Many of the finest male choreographers — George Balanchine, Frederick Ashton, Antony Tudor, Jerome Robbins, Kenneth MacMillan (Ms. Kirkland danced for all of them) — used pointework expressively, so that a woman’s feet became detailed and powerful expressions of her femininity. The contrasts between man and woman in their ballets helped to make the mid-20th century the greatest era for choreography in ballet’s history.

There used to be an antagonism between narrative and plotless ballet. One set of modernists (led by Tudor) argued that ballet was about psychological communication; the other (led by Balanchine) argued that it was about dancing classically. It’s possible that Ms. Kirkland wants to reignite this debate, but I doubt it. Unlike Ms. Kirkland and her peers, most ballet dancers today belong to companies that perform both pure-dance works and, say, “Romeo and Juliet.” It’s easy now to see that Balanchine, Tudor, et al. excelled in both idioms.

What’s more, it’s easier for audiences now to see that the 20th-century pure-dance ballet was never abstract. As Balanchine, Merce Cunningham and Mark Morris all observed, you cannot have abstraction where there are human beings on a stage. Put a man and a woman onstage, Balanchine liked to say, and you already have a story; it has been well said that his plotless ballets actually have more drama than most story ballets.

But society in recent decades has grown far more fluid in its ideas of gender distinctions. Equal rights in the workplace and outside it have been increasingly achieved; various shades of androgyny have been acceptable or fashionable for decades; same-sex marriage is a widespread issue.

Much modern dance reflects various aspects of these blurring lines. Yet ballet still insists on the same either-or distinctions — even makes them more crucial than before. Point work is now a more ubiquitous condition of ballet femininity than it ever was in the 19th century; men, however, may go on point only for an eccentric or animal effect. The man must partner the woman in supported pirouettes; the woman may not return the compliment, and the device is never practiced in same-sex situations. There is also far more lifting — by men of women — than ever before. (John Neumeier’s “Lady of the Camellias,” which joined American Ballet Theater’s repertory in June, is an especially crass example.) Though “pas de deux” means “steps for two,” it is not unusual to hear dancers now use the term to mean the task of lifting and supporting women.

Sure, there have been a very few same-sex duets and a few sequences of male-female parallel-and-equal (unisex) dancing too, but those are never where ballet comes into its own. Almost every ballet, storytelling or otherwise, features at least one partnering passage, usually central, in which the differences between men and women are highlighted. How well equipped is this genre to speak to, or of, the world we know? Will the choreographers of the 21st century change the genre’s ingredients so that it becomes less automatically sexist? Or will they change the dramas that flow from its heterosexual rituals? Most crucially: What future does ballet have as an art of modern expression?

That future may be sci-fi, chick flick, historical costume drama or post-hip-hop body popping: it’s anybody’s guess. But a 21st-century art that knows no alternative to bringing men and women together in situations of love, chivalry or arrant manhandling will retain obvious limitations. Story ballet today is in danger of becoming a particularly sexist form of rom-com.

Personal comment: First I’d like to wish Gelsey Kirkland great success with her new Gelsey Kirkland Academy of Classical Ballet. She had left ABT before I arrived in NYC so I never got to see her perform live, just on video and she was a lovely dancer. Her research in preparation for a role is legendary so I hope she shares a bit of that with her students. I have taken a few classes that she taught and I learned a lot in a short time, mostly about focus and discipline as she can be very demanding.

Now about the rest of Alastair Macaulay’s article. On the one hand he says:

“Once the genre acquired pointework in the early 19th century, it acquired a tragic dimension. A heroine on point is existentially different from the hero; she becomes the Other.” And he says: “To the hero and to the audience, pointework said, “in your dreams.”

Then he goes on to say:

“Point work is now a more ubiquitous condition of ballet femininity than it ever was in the 19th century; men, however, may go on point only for an eccentric or animal effect. The man must partner the woman in supported pirouettes; the woman may not return the compliment, and the device is never practiced in same-sex situations.”

So? A woman supporting a man who is 40+ pounds heavier and an additional 6 inches taller than she is when en pointe? Get a grip! And, what’s this about “never practiced in same sex situations”? You want Bruce and Tim en pointe as Harley mechanics in a hog shop? Or to bourrée couru down the aisle during a same-sex wedding? I can tell you that with the exception of male comedy dance troupes like the Trocks males en pointe are very much an acquired taste and even then only in cabarets in cities like San Francisco, New York, London, Paris, Berlin and Bangkok.

As long as the human species continues to propagate through sexual intercourse between male and female the female will try to make herself as feminine as possible to attract men, and pointework is an unbelievably powerful attractive force for women who can use it properly. With love, lust, envy and jealousy as drivers in relationships between the sexes a woman en pointe is the stuff of fantasy. Here in Vegas we have been successfully accommodating that male fantasy ever since I became AD of the casino’s ballet company.