Heretical sects & texts

The narthex of the temple in which lies the Chalice

The Holy Grail: J “Quest for the holy grail. Is that the orgasm or coitus? I would argue for the fetish sensibility it is the orgasm and coitus is only one means to achieve it. Admittedly for the male and probably the females out there 99.999% of orgasms are associated with some sort of physical contact with the erogenous zones. The basic ones are well understood, the vagina, clitoris, G spot, glans, shaft testes, nipples, prostate and so forth. Some have sensitive ears, necks, lips, feet and even their hair can evoke and erotic response. This is not what is at the core of fetish even though we see fetish as manifested in "gear" which exists in the physical world. A fetish ONLY has erotic power to those who "believe in it" or who imbue those "things" with sexual power. Put a rubber suit on a non fetishists and they might say it feels fine, or tight or too tight, or smelly or too slippery… or too something for them to be comfortable. And if they DO not find it uncomfortable they STILL might not find it arouses them sexually. Some might find it does and they would be candidates for becoming a fetishist... someone who finds inanimate things sexually arousing. Of course we all know that the arousal phase is the beginning of the human sexual response. It's the part of the sexual response which gives us an increasing itch to reach the goal post - orgasm. For many "traditionalists" the orgasm is closely linked with cock in pussy fucking and we all know there are scores of "positions" to have cock in pussy sex. Some need that sort of variety and some claim and rightfully so, some position offer better and different experiences and orgasms. But everyone seems to think that there are better and bigger and longer lasting and deeper orgasms and it’s a matter of skill which can tease them out. And a corollary is that there is no limit and more, better, longer, deeper and multiple is out there to conquer.”

The Chalice as an object of desire: “Quest for the holy grail. Is that the orgasm or coitus?” Actually, I had included some apocryphal (and heretical) Christian beliefs in that that thought… hoping you might eventually go there.

After survival, nature’s most powerful drive is the need to reproduce. That biological imperative gives women the ability to cloud men’s minds with lust, mesmerizing the male in more advanced societies into clothing her in exotic materials and bindings in an effort to have his way with her sometimes by bizarre means. Sampling for himself the delights found in the depths of her body he enters the kingdom of heaven on earth to plant his seed at the base of the Holy Grail itself, her uterus, from which all human life springs.

It is understandable that for some early Christians desperate to increase their numbers the uterus was seen as the Holy Grail – from which all life springs - and worship of the female is not a new concept. However, worship of a female God or Goddess was suppressed by the Romans bringing organization to the early Christian church by standardizing its teachings to reflect the views of a male dominated society, probably during or around the time of the First Council of Nicaea a council of Christian bishops convened by the Roman Emperor Constantine I in A.D. 325. The Council was the first effort to attain consensus in the church through an assembly representing all of Christendom. Its main accomplishments were settlement of the issue of the relationship of Jesus to God the Father; the construction of the first part of the Nicene Creed; settling the calculation of the date of Easter; and promulgation of early canon law. In the process early Gospels chronicling worship of the Virgin Mary and glorifying her womb were discarded. Texts of early variant teachings and sects believing in them were suppressed and branded as heretical.

The Idea of the Chalice or Holy Grail (the cup from which Jesus and the apostles drank during the Last Supper) as representing the uterus was most recently brought to the attention of the general public when the concept was used as the basis for The Da Vinci Code the 2003 mystery-detective novel written by Dan Brown. It is the male's biologically driven fascination with women’s reproductive anatomy that has fueled violence and bloodshed since mankind crawled out of the slime and women began seducing men for mates.

Getting mine: J “Sex as a selfish act (which it demonstrably is) involves getting "yours" the way you like it... so to speak. And when there's a partner involved it may be getting THEM to giving you "yours" the way you like it. There are a few strategies here. One is simply to demand it and say... here you play this fiddle called my sexual response. Your role is to learn what I teach and follow the script with finesse. Your reward can be I can do you at another time, or maybe at the same time, or you can learn to "get off" on playing me my way. Wouldn't that be dandy! Another is the quid pro quo where the provider is paid or obligated to perform to spec... the hooker, escort, pro Domme and so forth. You can also "train" or manipulate the partner to do your bidding by positive and negative reinforcements - training. People and animals are easy to train this way. Yet there are times when the partners interactions naturally leads to them each giving and getting exactly what floats their own boats. It doesn't get any better than that. Jane like John to ram her hard in rough almost brutal sex and John gets off on the idea of brutally taking a female! This can apply to any aspect of fetish play... and is what lovers seek in their partners - compatibility. Sure you can wear a rubber suit to please my eye... but I am looking for the women who is turned on by wearing the rubber suit - then she's really sexy to me... the rubberist male might say. But I digress”

“The Holy Grail is not the vagina but the tactile experience of the vagina on a penis for a male and the feeling of the thrusting penis inside her vagina for a female. This is so because vaginas and penises are where the physical sensations which offer up orgasms come from. Some men can get off and prefer an anal cavity. Some a rubber cavity of a sex doll. Some women prefer or are fine with a glass or rubber dildo or even a cucumber to fill their vaginas. Fetish sex is about the toys as substitute for the "real thing". But fetish sex, like vanilla sex is about getting off, but with more emphasis on the arousal phase... lots more. It makes the arousal phase include all sorts of gear and clothing... the mental constructs to eroticize them.”

Suppressed Symbolism: I agree that the vagina is not the Holy Grail. But as I mentioned above I think “the tactile experience of the vagina on a penis for a male and the feeling of the thrusting penis inside her vagina for a female” is not the Holy Grail either. I believe the Apostles drinking from the cup during the Last Supper, pledging they would continue his teachings when Jesus had gone was seen by some early Christians (who worshiped Mary as a deity) to be analogous to or symbolic of sexual intercourse with the transfer of semen (as the blood) which actually fills the Chalice or Holy Grail – the uterus – to continue the faith and mankind. This view of communion in the Catholic Church as celebrating sexual intercourse has been suppressed for nearly 2,000 years, but for believers traces of it can still be seen in the ritual of the Mass, performed by celibate priests.

The genitals as a fetish: J “I suppose some people have a genital fetish and literally eroticize the facsimiles of genitals. This I suppose is manifest in silicone breast augmentation, but surgical and applied on top of one's own breasts, or rubber vulvas and vaginas which can be worn as garments, some with sheathed cavities to penetrate... mostly used by CDs I suppose. But it's conceivable that a female could have a fetish of being fucked with a fake pussy she wears. And the same might apply to a male who sports a fake cock over his own. And there certainly could be females who desire large rubber cocks more so than the real deal. However these sorts of appliances are more about the actual fucking than the arousal the way most fetishes operate. Fetish is mostly about getting there as opposed to being there and so the Holy Grail is really about the QUEST for it than FOR it. What do I know?”

Cervical barriers as a fetish: I don’t know any women who have a genital fetish, but I know some CD/TVs who do. I’ve written about some few rubberists both male and female who are into ‘vaginal rubber’, an oft overlooked area for the female rubberist, and the different pleasures that can be derived from its use. As returning readers know I wear a cervical barrier to protect my upper reproductive tract. I’m CD24 today and have an Oves cervical cap sucking on my cervix as a gas-guard for dive-sex and as a contraceptive barrier although I’m in my Luteal phase with my menses starting next Friday so I’ve ovulated this cycle and as far as contraception is concerned I could go w/o protection and still be safe. For me contraceptive diaphragms and cervical caps are a huge turn-on. I love the added confidence that I get when I have a physical barrier protecting my cervix even though it may be a tiny bit of .2mm thick transparent silicone rubber.

Ever since I was in my early 20s and got my first latex Prentif cavity rim cervical cap I’ve been in love with cervical barriers for contraception. I was on the pill and hated what the progestin did to me, killing my libido and drying me out so that even on the rare instances when I wanted sex I could never get comfortable regardless of which or how much lube I used. Today less than one percent of U.S women use a cervical barrier and most doctors aren’t taught how to fit them anymore. Women’s doctors are in the pocket of Big Pharma and pushing hormones these days saying cervical barriers aren’t nearly as effective. But for a motivated woman who follows all the rules all the time and who has a properly fitted diaphragm that is correctly inserted the device is more than 96% effective which is as good as the protection most women get from their pills because they aren’t compliant in taking them.

An analysis of ‘protection’ fetishes

Latex encased Sub with hood, gasmask & posture collar

Our fetishes & sexuality dialog continues as ‘J’ shares more of his thoughts and experiences on the subject:

J “You mentioned getting yeast infections from wearing latex undies. This is because yeast grows in moist dark environments and latex prevents the transport of moisture. But so does wearing a catsuit all day or all night! ...or a Penetrator plug for that matter! Perhaps you could comment on this?”

You’re absolutely right, unless precautions are taken. Before the clinical trial of an effective biocide that prevented the overgrowth of some normal vaginal flora YIs were fairly common and time consuming to treat for women who wore impermeable enclosure suits or lingerie for extended intervals. The risk could be minimized by leaving the service (crotch) zipper of encasement suits open when the wearer was not on display, but that is at best a stopgap and inelegant solution. In the last year, now that Semécide+, the professional O9 spermicide, lube and biocide, is in stage 3 trials a 5 ml applicator of the clear gel in the vagina before inserting a Penetrator or squeezing into a latex catsuit for an extended interval reduces the likelihood of developing a YI by about 85% even for women who are highly susceptible to them. Jeff is hoping his labs will get FDA approval to market it commercially if it turns out to be the success that initial data indicates. Of course if a woman has a latex allergy she loses the latex advantage, but there are still silicone, PCV and leather as well as fabric zentai, but being unable to wear latex puts a fetish chick at a considerable disadvantage as far as choices are concerned.

J “I think you miss the point about the difference between acquiring a skill set and developing a fetish for something which may require a skill. Unless the person finds some pleasure or attraction to the activity, being skilled does not mean it has become or will become a sexual fetish.”

I thought I was clear that I work with my AST students to identify the ones who not only acquire the skills being taught, but more importantly get pleasure from them and I guide them along the path to unanticipated delights. It is those young women who will be the among the elite fetishists of their generation in the years to come. In the case of almost all of the female escort candidates I work with, learning the skills is all they are interested in and most are adept at feigning pleasure or what ever emotion the client wants during a commercial encounter.

J “Of course, the idea that a sexual libertine who is kinky can exploit this and "sell" an array of sexual services to those who can't get these for free... or who like the novelty different partners. These persons are not into intimacy and have overcome their shyness about their kinks and how bizarre they may be, especially when a non judgmental person will fulfill his fantasies. Most have gone past shyness to the notion that their sexuality is superior and liberated and expansive... and are very comfortable with their kinks. But it's always about their own selfish erotic pleasure. Obviously when that pleasure involves a partner, the fetishist wants the partner to be equally aroused and pleasured by the encounter. That makes it not selfish, but mutual. And most people don't like the idea of being selfish, even when they are”

I recognize myself in that description. Though I’m very self-centered I do (almost always) want my partner to enjoy the encounter we are having. The exception is when I’m hunting a predator who has injured a friend. Then I my sadistic streak shows itself and I derive a great deal pleasure exacting retribution for the injury s/he has caused someone in my circle.

A man’s perspective on ‘protection’: I’m quoting this in its entirety because J deals at length with various aspects of ‘protection’ in the fetish world and I agree with almost all of it.

Leather: J “Protection in fetish attire is a common mental construct. It was more commonly associated with leather which was clearing more rugged than textiles. The earlier forms of kink were "rough sex" such as S&M. So the S&M people adopted leather clothing because it represented what one would wear to protect themselves in dangerous situations. It also of course was the skin of a dead animal... and implied conquest in taken the skin of an animal that have given its life to protect the wearer. Leather, unlike textiles had a smell and was distinguished from textiles as it was a continuous surface, not woven from threads. This gave it the ability to keep out liquids and so forth which can penetrate woven textiles. This is another attribute of leather which imbues the wearer with the feeling that they are protected and there for less vulnerable to "attack" and more powerful for it. Virtually everyone feels vulnerable naked (even if they are exhibitionistic). So the reverse of naked is less vulnerable and the less naked, the more covered the person feels even less vulnerable to the point of being armored and safe. It's both a mental and actual phenomena. Armor does offer some protection! There are many reasons why leather has so much power in the BDSM world. All the straps (and even whips) and so forth from equestrian tack to the simple belts and straps we use for every day clothing are evocative of restraint, closure, and entrapment of something. So it is easy to understand why leather has been fetishized as it addresses the vulnerability of nakedness absence of protection.

Latex: J “Latex came on much later. It has a similar basis for appeal, but being different it provides a different set of reasons it is fetishized. It still comes under the heading of "protection" because it represents a barrier between ones naked flesh and the eyes of others, one's partner and the environment. It is truly impermeable and the chemical barrier nature of latex is well understood by everyone especially fetishists. Rubber is used for this purpose for rain gear, medical gear and contraceptives. All uses for protection. Of course like leather it offers no protection against sharp puncture. Leather protects against abrasion, latex somewhat the same, but because latex is so thin the abrasion will quickly destroy it. But latex has some special qualities which take protection a step further than leather. It can be made and is made very thin and it stretches. This means that a latex garment can and does fit precisely to the skin and shape of the wearer. In fact it can and is made smaller so that it even compresses the skin over the entire body. The amount of pressure is related to the fit and the thickness. But even the thinnest latex will always make the wearer aware that there is a constant overall compression of the skin over the entire body.”

Encasement & the Skin: J “And of course who doesn't know that it is through the nerves in our skin that we experience the world "mechanically". And it is from the nerves in our skin and in particular our erogenous zones which induce erotic pleasure. Sexual encounters are understood to be between two people who fondle, caress and manipulate their partners flesh usually erotic zones to arouse desire and induce orgasm. But not everyone finds enclosure attractive or sensual. Some find it confining and too hot as evaporative cooling of sweat is not possible. Some find the accumulation of sweat inside the suit uncomfortable or cuts into the erotic feel. Most people discover (even avowed enclosurists) that these suits become uncomfortable to wear in a short time and are very vulnerable to local environment. People are too hot or too cold as latex does not mediate or assist the body as textiles do. Latex enclosurists accept the limitations for the short term benefits and understand that sexual experience are typically not marathons, but sprints, though many seek to extend the experience as long as possible.”

Latex & Arousal: J “Most fetishists seem to have discovered the pleasures of the arousal phase, and seek to extend it and the orgasm though important is not what fetish is about - it's about getting there and there are lots of interesting ways to do it once one opens themselves up to those possibilities. Fetishists have discovered that they can actually receive a kind of caress and fondling from their clothing. Many find that their entire skin is made sensitive and responsive because of the gentle pressure of the latex compression on their skin. And then there's the actual texture of latex which is as smoother or for some smoother than skin (think hair covered skin). Latex turns our entire skin into one of a continuous smooth second skin. It doesn't even inhibit our sense of touch. In some cases it actually amplifies touch by transmitting pressure across its surface to other areas of our skin. Not only is it smooth but it is so smooth to be shiny and even reflective... a more perfect skin than our own. People like to lose themselves inside their latex skin. They conceptualize that their body fluids are kept inside, those of the world are kept outside and they are safely enclosed, yet under constant titillation by the compression. And there are some more attributes to fetishize.”

Latex scents & anonymity: J “Latex and leather and plastic clothes, unlike textiles have a distinct smell. Perhaps the idea that we have our own smells, makes the idea of encapsulating them and offering another one to others is appealing, or it is just the idea that smell is an strong erotic cue. But the aroma of latex is one of attributes which many find erotic. All rubber has some odor. Some rubber and latexes have a particularly sweet aroma, like vanilla perhaps. This aroma performs like a perfume to arouse desire in the wearer or their partner. And perhaps the last attribute is anonymity, the identity concealment aspect to dressing for pleasure. In most sex we strip down to reveal who we are at our most basic.... nothing to hide, it all hangs out. This is us at our most vulnerable (least protected) as noted above, but it also who we are. But dressing lets us be something different, somewhat at least. And the clothing we put on is a kind of message to ourselves but more so to others who we interact it with. Lots of these messages are well understood in society. Mini skirts mean one thing. Long loose ones another, Jeans means one thing chinos another and so on. We may not be able to precisely articulate the messages, but we read them quite well. If we see a woman in a tight leather sheath mini dress with straps and buckles wearing over the knee stilettos we read her as a kinky girl and not a librarian. Latex is not a normal clothing choice and it is completely associated with kinky sex, despite the mainstreaming of fetish. The mainstream is reaching into the fetish clothing to borrow its message of hot libertine sexuality.”

Scents and sensibility: In addition to the traditional scents from fetishwear materials that can arouse a wearer or the wearer’s lover I have written about an extreme fetish for the scent of ripe vaginal rubber in my entry for Sunday, August 29, 2010 entitled ‘AST and discharge fetishes.’ In this case the stench of a diaphragm or cervical cap that has been inserted in the vagina marinating continuously for 48 hours in the wearer’s cervical and vaginal fluids as well as those produced by a male during unprotected penetrative sex is ‘an acquired taste’, to quote one ripe rubber fetishist. It goes along with some women’s craving to have a physical barrier protecting their upper reproductive tract. Unlike encasement suits a cervical barrier has practical value since it will protect the wearer from water or air being forced into her uterus during dive-sex in addition to contraceptive protection during her fertile days. Silicone devices will develop a somewhat less pungent odor than the sinus clearing stench of latex left to cure in the vagina for 48 to 72 hours because latex is slightly porous and its chemical composition reacts more easily with the wearer’s body fluids.

Identity destruction by encasement: J “But latex is often worn as enclosure [encasement] suits... and these, like no garment seen on main street, completely cover the person including their face and their hair. The person inside the suit has given up their individuality to become a form with no personal identity. Of course with eye and mouth openings and perhaps a hair tube this reduces the individual's identity to these three features and with make up even these can become almost "generic"... almost like a doll. Many find this identity destruction liberating. It allows their kinky sexuality to be expressed but not as their normal self. The new kinky persona emerges encased in latex, free to be an erotic creature with no reference to their former self. This is a powerful vacation or escape for many people. Sex itself is an escape or vacation for most people from their mundane lives, but this takes that notion to a whole other level. You encase yourself in a latex enclosure suit and you are (and are perceived to be) a completely different persona... and one who is about sex in no uncertain terms. The message is clear and unambiguous. I am enjoying a sexual experience simply by what I have chosen to wear. The mental constructs of protection which are somewhat true for liquids and gases (most suits do let air and gas through zips and openings) are more about protecting the old / vanilla person and revealing one who's identity is protected and he or she is much like every other latex enclosed person - a sexual object. This is the message of enclosure that the person has subordinated their entire persona to being a sexual object.”

“All those who are enclosed feel the very same thing as their entire bodies are engaged by the tight fitting stretch material covering every inch of their skin. Latex enclosurists obsess on their garments and how they are fit despite the stretchy nature of the material. Some prefer thicker which actually is more restrictive and functions like a full body support hose. And some prefer very thick and restrictive for more bondage oriented personalities. Others lust after a very thin suit which is tailored to their exact form and curves and literally fits like a second skin (breast forms penis sheaths) like a full body condom offering all the sensitivity that a condom is supposed to provide while offering a barrier. Some seek a suit with no zippers… which don't stretch and one maker has produced a suit which one enters through an open faced hood to provide an almost seamless suit. Molded anatomical hoods can be made to fit the complex shape of the face much better than glued ones. Technology for enclosure is advancing and even very stretchy silicone is being offered. Enhancements for breasts and so forth can be included either as foam or inflatable. Suiting up is primarily for the wearer unless it is done only for the partner who demands such. When both are eroticized by enclosure of one or both partners the match is even more powerful.”

“However, not everyone is eroticized by latex enclosure and identity destruction and role play. Most find it uncomfortable after a short time, though they want to extend it. Fetish is about the arousal phase more so than the orgasm and extending and amplifying arousal is what kink seems to be. When people open themselves to a wide range of arousal experiences their sex feels more adventuresome and expansive. They feel and in a sense are masters of sexual play. But not everyone can sexualize all that anyone can! We are individuals with our sexuality derived from our biology, health condition, psychological influences and those of society and our peer group.”

Hormonal birth control side effects

Different types of hormonal contraceptives

The New York Times

May 10, 2010
Risks: Birth Control Linked to Sexual Problems
By RONI CARYN RABIN

Young women who rely on hormonal birth control like the pill are at significantly higher risk for sexual dysfunction than those who use nonhormonal methods, a German study suggests.

The researchers, who questioned more than 1,000 students at six German medical schools, found that one-third of them experienced one or more forms of sexual problems associated with desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, satisfaction or pain. The study appeared in the May 4 issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Students who used hormonal contraception had the lowest overall sexual function scores, and they had lower scores on desire and arousal compared with those not using any birth control or those using nonhormonal methods.

The highest scores were among those using nonhormonal contraceptives. The lowest were among users of non-oral hormonal contraceptives like injected formulas or birth control patches.

An author of the paper, Dr. Alfred O. Mück, a professor of endocrinology at University Women’s Hospital of Tübingen in Germany, suggested that contraceptive hormones might reduce circulating levels of testosterone, which is needed to stimulate sexual desire and regulate genital blood flow.

But, he added, “The biological mechanisms remain unclear so far.”

Personal comment: Some of us who have used hormonal contraceptives already knew about the annoying side effects of hormonal birth control. Doctors, mostly males, will tell you that the side effects aren’t bad or that you can get used to them, but if you have once experienced an orgasm while cycling naturally and then go on the pill or other hormones the difference in the two experiences is startling. When I was on Ortho Tri-Cyclen the first year wasn’t too bad after getting used to the hormones while the breast soreness and the irregular bleeding went away. But after another year I had no libido, it was very difficult to become aroused and even when I felt as though I was aroused mentally my body wasn’t. I didn’t tent and was very dry. It was terrible! It took me a while longer to realize it was my pills that were suppressing my desire and arousal.

After coming off hormonal contraceptives it can take some women months or in a few cases years to recover from the side effects. Fortunately, after I stopped taking hormones my sex drive came roaring back and I began to cycle naturally again almost at once and I began to use an Oves cap as my primary protection and a diaphragm for flow control and contraception during menses. I’m fortunate to have very regular cycles and comfortable periods – I’m CD5 today – and enjoy the cycling of my female hormones, especially the days when I’m fertile or menstrual.