Brenda and lesbian sex

Purple Freeds in which I dance my signature Bolero solo.

The Photo: I love this photo! I think it allows a non dancer to get some idea of the power, beauty and magic that a trained ballet dancer experiences in a pair of pointe-shoes.

Brenda and the fetish aspect of diaphragms:

[Brenda] I do apologize and was unaware of the limits on your viewing longer posts. What you refer to was an update on my diaphragm play and I really do not know whether others are interested or not. No one, other than you, has commented. My present primary relationship is with another bi- woman who has not been aware of your awakening my interest in diaphragms.

[Jill] It may well be that there is a way to view longer comments before posting them, but if so I’m not aware of it. So thank you for commenting in multiple shorter comments. Actually, I think my readership is quite interested in reading about the sex-lives of Bi and Lesbian women, but may be a bit modest to comment or ask questions perhaps fearing being misunderstood. However, when I have ‘lesbian’ in the title of an entry that seems to increase the page views, so there is interest.

[Brenda] She was giving me a vulvar massage (heavenly), I knew that she would be delving much deeper and I was curious of her reaction to finding the spring. She completed the massage without hesitation until I had a crashing orgasm. One of those near out of body experiences. She maintained pressure on my pudenda, cuddled me and asked, "Why the diaphragm." This led to a long discussion of earlier experiences affecting present sex life and we each learned much about the other's sexual history, desires, likes and dislikes. Very educational.

During the discussion, she mentioned that she had never had a diaphragm inside her. I immediately removed it from me and inserted it into her. I went down on her and we fell asleep. Over tea in the morning I asked how she liked a diaphragm in her. She looked confused and, recovering, admitted she had forgotten all about it. She removed and I washed it and set it to dry for the day. I do believe that it was just a bit small for her but that did not matter. Please feel free to publish, or not, anything I send you. I do wish other participants would join in more. You host an interesting blog.

The diaphragm games continue. Eva spent the night last night [Thursday Oct 25, 2012] and expressed she has a male date for this weekend. She is looking forward to a little penis time and had a request. Now that she has experienced a night with a diaphragm in her, she wants to experience a penis along with a diaphragm in her. I gave her my Reflexions and, at the same time, washed and gave the old silicone diaphragm a vinegar soak. I need something for inside me the next few nights. She has no real need for the protection but is simply curious to know what it is like to use a diaphragm and remove it the next morning. Agreeing with you that latex is more likely to give her the whole experience, that is what I chose to share. I also recommended that she fill it with Surgilube instead of the unnecessary spermicidal vaginal jelly. It is, after all, pretty much the same except for the Non-9. There are not many diaphragms that experience two different vaginal environments and soaking with different semen potions

[Jill] I do hope Eva knows and can trust her male partner about being free of STIs. Using a condom takes all the fun out of having a diaphragm inserted, but if his sexual history is unknown it can be risky. But you being a Gyn I imagine you have discussed all that with her. If it turns out that she likes wearing a diaphragm, have you considered gifting her with one in her size? It would be such a loving and intimate gesture. Here, because we have so many different male partners STI testing is frequent, but there are still cases of YI and BV if the girls aren’t fastidious about their hygiene.

[Brenda] I read your posts about screwing dolphins and passed them off as a bit of your amazing imagination. Today I was looking for a dive vacation and ran across this "warning." The described behaviour of the animal was not dissimilar to your description. Except it was trying to fuck a guy.

[Jill] Male Dolphin’s have been known to attempt sex with inanimate objects; pilings for example, as well as humans and it can be dangerous having sex with them even in the best of circumstances. I try to find a young and small male, not that 250 lbs isn’t plenty large! And young because not only the weight of the older larger ones, but the fact that the older ones can have marine growths on them that are razor sharp so when they rub against you they can shred a wetsuit and whatever part of the body that’s under it. Getting pushed to the bottom and held there for breeding is a standard dolphin maneuver against an unwilling partner. I have a woman friend who, while wearing a 5 mm wetsuit, had an arm badly cut up when a frisky male pushed her down and dragged her across coral before her human dive buddy could get him off her. It can be such a thrill mating with another species but it’s very risky!

Brenda on fun with diaphragms

A selection of diaphragms from 3 manufacturers

The photo shows: This is an old photo showing three different makers’ contraceptive diaphragms. From the top, left to right are the latex Ortho All-Flex arcing spring rim, a Milex silicone wide seal available in arcing and coil spring styles, and a latex Ortho White which has a coil spring rim. The device with the clear dome and cherry rim is a Semina made of silicone in Brazil. Ortho converted the All-Flex from latex to silicone in the 4th quarter of 2008 and stopped making the Ortho White entirely at the same time. Semina is not available in the U.S. I can’t find a photo that includes the Lamberts latex Reflexions flat spring rim style with other diaphragms so I have included a photo of it further on in this entry.

Brenda’s comment: Since Brenda, a frequent reader and diaphragm wearer, posted a long comment to an earlier post I thought I’d re-post the entire comment and my reply in its own blog entry where other readers are more likely to read and comment on it. Brenda wrote:

Brenda September 27, 2012 7:24 AM
Just some girl talk and my thanks. Maybe or not some readers will find some interest. Up to you.

I really want to thank you for getting me back in touch with the importance of diaphragms to me. How many women still own every one they ever purchased? Including a rather fragile one over thirty years old. Must be important and likely harkens back to my secondary school days (always a diaphragm and usually a condom as well) and reactionary time at university after the chief lesbian on campus dumped me. I went through a period of denying my lesbian side and tried to fuck my way through the entire student body. Almost made it. So the exceptional activity, with a diaphragm in place, has inextricably linked my sex life with a diaphragm.

I now nearly always wear it to bed and have wandered out daytimes with it in place as well. On my recent trip to Africa, I went to the airport, which uses full body scanners, with it in place. As I approached security, it dawned on me that the spring would be quite visible on the scan and I found that somehow exciting. Whoever was looking had to wonder whether I was preparing to join the mile high club or I was freshly fucked. Likely gave them something to talk about all day.

Also, the new diaphragm recently had its semen baptism. It occurred to me that there was no medical reason for my wearing one but it should not denied its own experience of being flooded with an ejaculation. A medical conference provided the opportunity - as often as I would have wished. I met a very young doctor at the health club and made certain he had the chance to check everything out. We went to his room because I did not want a stranger in mine. He was young, virile and not very accomplished. Still dumped three loads against the diaphragm which I dutifully left in place until the next morning and removed to the usual aroma of putrefying semen, washed it and laid it out to dry on a towel. I wondered if the young maid even knew what it was. Years ago, that was likely a common event in hotel rooms but few younger women have even seen a diaphragm. Fortunately and unusual for me, I used a douche premix because later in the day I encountered a past lover and we decided we had better things to do than attend a dull lecture. This time in my room so that I could get the diaphragm back in. With a much more accomplished, and familiar partner, the sex was much better.

I really think that the saving grace for my new young friend was the rubbing of the G-Spot by the diaphragm rim as you have described. Though it fits me perfectly, his penis was such that he likely was pushing the dome into the anterior fornix and moving the rim slightly.

Any way, having found your blog quite by accident I have found it interesting and it has re-enabled some old behaviors that are quite enjoyable. If only some of the lurkers would join in more!

Thanks and hugs

A latex Reflexions flat spring diaphragm

Fetish uses of a flat spring diaphragm: Both Brenda and I prefer a latex flat spring diaphragm for fetish use. I’ll let her discuss why she prefers a flat spring. Returning readers may recall that I like wearing Reflexions because it is nearly impossible for a mischievous lover to under-thrust a correctly sized and properly inserted flat spring diaphragm as the rim will not flex when rammed at an oblique angle by a penis and the latex dome is far more flexible and the heat transfer properties much better than with silicone diaphragms. Too, with the soft stretchy dome even an inexperienced lover can give me a G-spot orgasm if I adjust my hips to have him thrust into my anterior fornix where he will move the rim just enough to caress my G-spot.

For my fetishist lovers I like that a latex diaphragm will develop a much stronger rubbery scent from being marinated over night in a combination of my vaginal fluids and a lover’s semen. That can be a turn-off for some users, but most of my men are rubberists and fond of the rubbery stench of well used ‘vaginal rubber’. After a quick wash and insertion of another flat spring, while the one just removed soaks in a 50/50 mix of water and white vinegar to remove the odor, and I’m good to go. I do ‘double bag’ wearing an Oves screwed down tight on my cervix because some of my unprotected lovers have been known to pull out my diaphragm just after filling me with sperm. The only down-side to a latex diaphragm is that it can’t be used by woman with a latex allergy. And latex even when well cared for doesn’t last as long as a silicone device. Fortunately neither Brenda nor I are allergic to latex.

My reply to Brenda’s comment:

[Jill] Hi Brenda, I’m so glad you are back safely from Rwanda, it sounds like such a dangerous place.

[Brenda] I really want to thank you for getting me back in touch with the importance of diaphragms to me.

[Jill] I’m pleased that I’ve been able to reawaken in you the fascination and thrill I feel when protecting myself from the most common consequence of engaging in penetrative sex with men when I insert a cervical barrier. I feel more confident and alluring; I’m more sexually assertive and still feel just a bit naughty knowing I’m ready to play without additional preparation when the man I’m with thinks the moment is right, except for emptying my bowels and bladder first if possible.

[Brenda] How many women still own every one they ever purchased?

[Jill] I imagine the number is quite small. As I’ve mentioned in posts to this blog I was introduced to diaphragms (the latex Ortho All-Flex) at boarding school when I was 14, in 1985, and then switched to a Prentif which was approved by the FDA in 1988, when I was 22, in 1993, when my cervix was large enough that I could wear the 25mm. I was astonished since I had tried in my teens to be fitted and I was too small for the 22mm! Then it was a combination of the Prentif and All-Flex - until the late 90s when I tried Ortho Tri-Cyclen for three years, which dried me out and killed my libido, and I came back to cervical barriers when the Oves cap became available. It was available over-the counter at Boots in the UK, but only on-line for those of us in the U.S. When there started to be shortages of Oves in my size, the 26mm, I stocked up before the manufacturer stopped making them. So now, If I’m careful and don’t get preggers so the size of my cervix changes, I should have enough Oves caps (I can get multiple cycles from a single cap) to get me well into menopause.

[Brenda] So the exceptional activity, with a diaphragm in place, has inextricably linked my sex life with a diaphragm

[Jill] I think the fact that there is a physical barrier in place to block a partner’s sperm is one of the things I like most about diaphragms and caps. I was never really sure the pill was working, other than it made me terribly dry and want to avoid sex with men I otherwise wanted to be ravished by.

[Brenda] As I approached security, it dawned on me that the spring would be quite visible on the scan and I found that somehow exciting. Whoever was looking had to wonder whether I was preparing to join the mile high club or I was freshly fucked. Likely gave them something to talk about all day.

[Jill] After being pulled out of line twice by TSA screeners in Vegas for wearing a Milex Omniflex (because it has a deeper dome) while menstrual to show a female supervisor a blood filled diaphragm and she didn’t seem apologetic at all. I’ve tried when I can to use private aircraft where the screening is less rigorous, or wear a Diva Cup. Other than the delay (I wanted coffee before my flight) it didn’t bother me because in my profession I undress regularly for men so I went into performance mode and wasn’t shy about it at all. I just did get my coffee.

[Brenda] It occurred to me that there was no medical reason for my wearing one but it should not denied its own experience of being flooded with an ejaculation.

[Jill] I agree that every cervical barrier should be christened with highly motile sperm even if the intention is to only insert it as a confidence builder in situations where being celibate is the best policy.

[Brenda] He was young, virile and not very accomplished. Still dumped three loads against the diaphragm which I dutifully left in place until the next morning and removed to the usual aroma of putrefying semen,

[Jill] I love the enthusiasm and stamina of the young ones and if you have them for a while most of them can be trained to perform at very high levels and the training process can be such a joy! I’ve mentioned this before and I know it’s an acquired taste, but I always love the scent of a latex diaphragm after leaving it to marinate in the mixture of my vaginal secretions and a lover’s ejaculate over night. The pungent rubbery fragrance emanating from a ripe diaphragm brings back fond memories of marvelous sex from the night before.

[Brenda] I wondered if the young maid even knew what it was. Years ago, that was likely a common event in hotel rooms but few younger women have even seen a diaphragm.

[Jill] I agree! Less than 1% of women using contraception in the U.S. wear a diaphragm or FemCap and FemCap seems to be catching on because the manufacturer says it can be sized by the woman’s OB history and plays down the need for a traditional fitting, which results an a good many poorly fitting FemCaps in the U.S.

[Brenda] I really think that the saving grace for my new young friend was the rubbing of the G-Spot by the diaphragm rim as you have described. Though it fits me perfectly, his penis was such that he likely was pushing the dome into the anterior fornix and moving the rim slightly.

[Jill] I’m so pleased that you and your young admirer had that experience! Wasn’t that amazing!

[Brenda] If only some of the lurkers would join in more!

[Jill] It is fun corresponding with readers. I have a few regular readers, but most I think read me for the kinks I have that appeal to them and because I write about the life I lead which to some, if not most, I suppose might seem like a fantasy.

If you believe what my readers say about themselves they are: 54% male and 46% female, 48% are 18-34, 32% are 35-48 and 16% are over 50. 73% have no children. In that mix there are a lot of fantasists that my lifestyle might appeal to, and I appreciate every one of them!

Demons and sex

An Incubus with his sleeping victim



The Incubus effect: More than three years ago I wrote about being called a Succubus in the entry to this blog for June 27, 2009 entitled ‘What am I?’ I got that reputation because I seemed insatiable to a lover who needed far more stamina than he had to satisfy me. Until now I’ve never mentioned my erotic dreams where I’m being pursued by the Succubus opposite, the Incubus, a male demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping women,. Now that the Incubus has been let out of the closet- in a manner of speaking – and appears in the comments section I may as well confess my terror, fascination and desire for sex with them in my dreams.

The Incubus ‘outing’ occurred because Brenda, a good friend and frequent reader, commented that she is now wearing a Reflexions diaphragm for protection from an incubus in her closet. She wrote in a comment that having a Reflexions inserted “improved my sleep, protected myself from the incubus in my closet and increased my masturbation in both frequency and response”. I’m not certain that she wasn’t just kidding about the Incubus, but it struck a nerve with me. I had thought I was the only one with them in my closets. I had considered having an exorcism performed to rid myself of them, but found I am so massively turned on when I dream about being taken by one that I decided the thrill outweighs the horror of the dream.

Protection and the sacrament: The first time I was taken by a demon in my dreams was after I had become sexually active at boarding school. I had been sent to Father Tom, the parish priest and the schools spiritual advisor, for counseling as even then I disliked authority. Fr Tom was very fond of underage girls who had reached menarche and one thing quickly lead to another until he became my lover during my weekly therapy sessions at the rectory. My dreams of sex with a demon began shortly afterward. At the time it seemed perfectly ok for Fr Tom, when he took me into his confidence, to physically demonstrate the blessings enjoyed within the sacrament of marriage and during each session he would remind me of those blessings by our union when he released his seed inside me. He never wore a condom saying that was the equivalent of spilling his seed on the ground. So even though I Kegeled most of it out of me before I left the rectory his spunk drained into a pad I wore in my panties as I rode my bike back to school.

I had already been fitted with a diaphragm, a 65mm latex All-Flex, at menarche by Student Health to use for flow control during menses, but we all knew we were expected to use them for protection during sex because spermicide and reusable applicators were readily available from a display on the counter concealed from the view of a casual observer behind a large potted plant next to a portrait of the blessed virgin. You didn’t even have to ask for it we just took what we needed. I always inserted my diaphragm with spermicide in the dome and put more spermicide and a reusable applicator in my purse before riding one of the school’s bikes to the rectory so I was prepared to participate in the sacrament w/o further preparation. Fr Tom always checked with his finger while caressing me to ensure he could feel that I had my diaphragm in place before he entered me. At menarche we were all allowed to wax out pubes and when I started the sight of my waxed vulva caused him to revise his therapy regimen apparently convinced I needed to experience the blessings of the marriage bed at least twice and occasionally a third time during the hour he was counseling me. He was extremely conscientious in that way.

The dream: Dreaming of being taken by a male demon always occurs when I’m menstrual, wearing a Reflexions latex diaphragm and sleeping alone. If I’m sleeping with a human sexual partner my sleep is undisturbed by the erotic terror of being in thrall to an Incubus. In the dream I can be any age from 14 to 40 and the details of where I am, how I’m dressed and how I’m taken will vary. My therapist says it’s my subconscious punishing me for being amoral and trampling traditional moral values. Perhaps, but being taken in my demon controlled nightmares is so intense that the afterglow and strong vaginal contractions continue for hours afterward and I’m limp the next morning. I think the dream is actually addictive as I’m now avoiding most human sleeping companions when menstrual to enjoy the terror of being ravaged by my Incubus.

One version: In one version of my Incubus driven nightmares I’m fertile (even though I’m bleeding) so the Reflexions wonderfully soft stretchy dome is the only thing protecting me from being impregnated. I can feel every wart and open sore on the demon’s twisted rigid penis as his brutal thrusts batter my cervix! I’ve always wondered why with the latex membrane being so marvelously soft an incubus’ sharp pointed penis has never punctured the dome as he whispers in my ear that he will. And the threat terrifies me every time!. The part of the nightmares about the dome being breached I suspect is to make me experience the terror of anticipation, waiting for him to actually breach my protection leaving me vulnerable, at his mercy, toying with me rather than just getting it over with puncturing the dome and inseminating me. In my sleep he can mind-fuck me with the threat of imminent insemination and I’m just as terrified each time regardless of how many times I’ve had the dream. It’s mind blowing being taken by a devil while asleep and waking to find I not only survived, but my diaphragm is still undamaged and protecting my cervix and that I orgasmed during the experience and am sexually spent!

Another version: I’m in tights, Freed toe-shoes and a sports top. My nipples are leaking soaking the fabric of my compression cups and the scent of warm milk and sweat is in the air and the sulfuric aroma of burning anthracite is on his breath. I’m wearing my tights belt-rolled so the fabric is pulled up separating my cheeks and displaying my mons pubis beautifully as the thick crotch gusset is being soaked by my arousal fluids. I’m balanced en pointe and can feel the blocks of my Freeds beginning to melt while I’m backed against a barre as the creature fondles me between my legs. My belly tingles, I become lightheaded and nearly faint from the rush of blood pooling in my pelvis to engorge my labia and the shaft of my clitoris while my uterus is almost jerked up and back as my vagina rapidly tents and I feel a gush of vaginal lube as more of it drains into the thick absorbent crotch gusset.

With a razor sharp fingernail he slits the gusset and I feel my vaginal discharge running down my thighs soaking my ruined tights. He is already erect and dripping pre-cum when he has me guide the tip of his massive prehensile penis between my spread labia and pushes it inside me. I’m wearing my Reflexions which is nearly impossible for a man to under-thrust its rim, but with the prehensile penis of an Incubus the flat spring is no protection. I can feel his tip twist and push up between my vaginal wall and the rim and feel the vacuum release as he breaks the seal. The demon pushes further, under-thrusts the rim and within seconds he is inside the dome and the exquisite sensation of skin-on-skin as his dripping tip caresses my G-spot makes my cry. He is so large I feel wonderfully full and when he comes it is as though he is spewing warming gel as the pressure forces some of his semen directly through the open os of my ripe cervix and I know his seed will be waiting in my tubes for me to release an egg within a few hours.

Waking from this version the desire to pull out my diaphragm while I’m still on my back in bed is nearly overwhelming, but I usually manage to get to the toilet before I carefully pull it out to check for signs of semen mixed with my menstrual flow in the dome. The latex membrane of dome is undamaged and there is no semen to be found only brown blood and some clots. When that’s all I discover I find I’ve been holding my breath and I’m always so relieved, but weak from such an intense sexual encounter!

Brenda, the Nigg Stone and a sea change

The eighth-century Pictish cross-slab at Nigg

A New Follower: I have a new blog follower, ‘Brenda’; who says she is a Pictish Princess, possibly a cousin many times removed, and who has left me a fascinating comment – not yet posted - on my blog entry: The Winter Solstice and other Holidays [January 09, 2012]. Since it concerns bringing new genes into the Ancient’s bloodline as I am being encouraged to do I thought I would mention her approach while my sponsors within the Priesthood examine her background as there aren’t many women Priestesses or Pictish Princesses especially in north eastern Scotland.

Unlike Sister Brenda I am (so I have been told) a Druid Priestess a much older title. Perhaps that translates to the equivalent of a Pictish Princess, but I haven’t been told that, at least not yet. I think The Nigg Stone (at Nigg Old Church on Cromarty Firth) where Brenda says her most recent fertility ritual was held, is one of the earliest and best examples of Pictish stone carvings and is thought to date to the 8th century AD, much more recent than Stonehenge, but still a step on the path to the present for my British ancestors. I was amazed to find her description of the Pictish ceremony coincided in considerable detail with my ceremonies for St Lucy’s students to welcome them into womanhood when they reach menarche.

My purification rituals not differing appreciably from the ‘purification’ process by which Brenda relates Pictish novitiates are cleansed - by combining menstrual blood, the symbol of renewed fertility, and male genital fluid in young females as an offering to the Gods of fertility - suggest to me that I’ve been channeling ancient Druid ceremonies w/o realizing it. As returning readers will remember, Jack is working on his Doctorate in Archeology at Oxford. So when he and I visited Aberdeen last summer he had one of the Duchy’s helicopters take us to see significant ancient sites on Scotland’s North East coast and Nigg Old Church was one location. Not because the church is significant, but because it houses the Nigg Stone which is pictured at the top of this entry. In her comment Brenda wrote:

“The men, save one, then retired to the church for ceremonies around the Nigg Stone, praying, circling and masturbating one another. We women remained outside…”

It can be seen from the photo that it’s not possible for anyone to circle the Nigg Stone in its present setting so perhaps they just stood around it as best they could. I suppose they used natural lamb condoms since women weren’t allowed in to clean up the splatters. Since Brenda wasn’t allowed inside the church to see the male portion of the ceremony perhaps she misunderstood about circling the Nigg Stone. Until recently I never understood the spilling of so much male seed at fertility rites rather than depositing it in every sacred vessel available either by willing desire on the part of the woman or by force since there were so few breeding females. That was the case in ancient times since the death rate was so high for women during childbirth so it was important to keep as many of us as possible pregnant to advance the bloodline. Today however, the criteria have changed since from what I understand there are so few women with suitable DNA, which would leave the lesser men with nothing to do but masturbate rather than produce children with weaker genes.

A change of attitude: I was surprised to receive a letter yesterday from the Duke, Jack’s father. The old bull has recovered from the heart attack he had while fucking me this past summer. When I went to visit him in hospital he told me he thought I “was a piece worth dying for”, which I thought was an amazing compliment! The Duchess knows he’s a satyr, which is why, after she fulfilled her procreational duty, she is now living on Virgin Gorda with her lover. His Grace is very resilient, but extremely stubborn and opinionated and there are few people who can reason with him. I thought he was jealous when Jack, his heir to the Duchy, took his place in my saddle and then when Jack seemed to be getting serious about me the Duke became glacial in his relations with me and orchestrated the introduction of Sylvie into Jacks orbit and strongly suggested that at 40 I was too old to be counted on to produce a healthy heir for continuation of the bloodline, an argument that I admit has some merit. Now it seems there has been a sea change in his attitude toward me and he wrote to tell me how pleased he is that Jack and I are together again! WTF!