Getting the most from your diaphragm

 

A silicone Caya contoured diaphragm

Repetition: I know I’ve covered this before, but I’m being repeatedly asked about how to get the most from the few styles of contraceptive diaphragms that are still available.

The Photo: The Caya contoured diaphragm was designed to fit women who take the four most often prescribed sizes of traditional diaphragms; 65mm, 70, 75, and 80mm. Caya has a polymer rim spring so there is no worry about wearing it through metal detectors at airports and the slightly matte outer surface of the cervix cup increases a partner’s sensation rubbing against the glans of his thrusting penis. The six bumps on the right side of the rim are grip dimples. There is an identical set on the other side that make gripping and compressing a slippery rim for insertion much easier than the smooth rim of a traditional diaphragm. The dome on the right is the removal dome into which the wearer inserts a finger to break the seal and pull it out.

Disadvantages of the Caya: Women with vaginas smaller than 65mm and larger than 80mm cannot safely wear it. The heat transfer properties of silicone are not as good as latex and in larger vaginas the relief arch tends to rotate a few degrees one way or the other. If rotation is too great the Caya rim can be under-thrust which the relief arch was designed to prevent. Since I am at the upper design limit for the Caya I’m reluctant to wear it for “flood insurance” during underwater sex.

A silicone Milex contraceptive diaphragm

The Photo: The last of the traditional diaphragms still commercially available Milex comes in two rim styles, Arcing and Omniflex (coil spring) rim. It is available in eight diameter sizes, from 60 to 95mm, in 5mm increments. The wide seal flange on the inside of the rim provides a larger surface to seal against the vaginal walls. The two cut-outs in the wide seal indicate where the fingers should be placed to compress the arcing rim for insertion. While the Omniflex (coil spring) rim has the same cutouts the Omniflex can be compressed at any two opposite points on the rim for insertion. The dark round spot in the inside center of the dome is the extrusion nub.

Properly cared for a Milex diaphragm will last several times longer than a latex diaphragm. However, it is still susceptible to deterioration from oils of all kinds as well as silicone lubricants. The stiff silicone dome has much poorer heat transfer properties than does the dome of a latex diaphragm.

One of my latex Reflexions flat spring diaphragms

The Photo: One of my 80mm latex Reflections flat spring rim diaphragms in its case. The curved white polymer device lying above the diaphragm is an ‘introducer’ which aided with insertion of diaphragms with rims of 60mm to 90mm for women with short fingers. 

A major advantage of the latex flat spring over the Caya is that when correctly fitted and properly inserted it is almost impossible for even a mischievous partner to intentionally under-thrust the rim. Other advantages are that silicone lubes can be safely used with a latex diaphragm and the heat transfer properties of the translucent stretchy latex dome are far superior to silicone diaphragms. Another advantage that isn’t generally talked about is that for women with partners who are able to thrust into their anterior fornix a flat spring rim, since it only bends in the plane of the rim, will retain its shape and allow the latex dome to be stretched tight over the tip of the cervix and deep into the anterior fornix. This puts upward pressure on the cervix and therefore the uterus pushing it a few millimeters deeper which makes the bottom of the fornix that much deeper as well.  This cannot be duplicated with Milex and Caya diaphragms because the Milex rims (arcing and coil spring) bend in two planes and the Caya cervix cup is too deep to allow the cervix to be pushed upward by a penis thrusting into the anterior fornix. Another advantage of a Reflexions latex diaphragm is that the raised triangle (with the size of the device in millimeters in its center) on the outside center of the dome can stimulate the glans of a thrusting penis long enough to reach it.

Disadvantages of latex diaphragms: The latex can be easily damaged by oils of all kinds in lubes, vaginal meds and even by perfume on the fingers during insertion. Even when properly cared for a well-used (3+ times a week) latex diaphragm should be replaced every year. The rim of a Reflexions is stiffer to compress and hold (when slippery) for insertion than the Caya and a latex device will develop an odor quicker than a silicone one because the surface of the latex is porous to a small extent.  The odor   developing quicker is seen by scent fetishes as a plus.

However, the main problem with latex diaphragms is that they are no longer commercially available.  I’m fortunate to still have several new Reflexions that I haven’t broken the seals on the boxes, so I should be fine for a while longer. Currently only at Gyn practices specializing in cervical barriers can women be fitted for latex diaphragms custom made with coil, arcing or flat spring rims.

Expressing a diaphragm: For the best protection, a diaphragm should develop a strong seal (suction) in the dome. This seal depends on the flexibility of the vaginal walls with no major irregularities to grip a properly sized and correctly placed rim. A diaphragm with poor suction can be used fairly effectively with plenty of spermicide in the dome, but not as effectively as with strong suction. There is nothing more satisfying to me, from a safety perspective, than to feel the strong suction tug as I break the seal to remove my diaphragm at least six hours after the last act of intercourse (to make sure all his little swimmers are dead) from a long session of love making.

To get the strongest suction possible a wearer should express the air out of the dome or cervical cup with her fingers. Where the most air will accumulate under the dome is in the anterior fornix. The wider the anterior fornix the more air is trapped. Because of the smaller cervix cup there is less air to express from a Caya than a conventional diaphragm dome. Some women can press down and lower the cervix enough that the wearer can express all the air from her anterior fornix with her fingers. But when using fingers there is the possibility of cutting or tearing the dome with a fingernail. Others find it helpful to use a small dildo or the rounded handle of a table knife to force the dome into the anterior fornix to completely evacuate the air. It’s especially important if the wearer is using a diaphragm as “flood insurance” during dive-sex so the hydraulics of a partner’s thrusts will not force water into the wearer’s uterus.   

So many men, so little time!

The Caya contoured diaphragm

The Photo: A one-size-fits-most Caya silicone diaphragm showing the names of the major features and the dimensions.

New semen in my vagina: Returning readers will recall that my current group of Personal Assistant candidates: Cinnamon, Fern, Heather, Holly, Iris, Ivy and Jasmine and their male partners: Doc, Dopy, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy, Sneezy and Bashful were first mentioned in my post for February 4^th so their nine week pelvic training intensive is well underway and the girls (with hot soaks, ibuprofen and liniment) are becoming used to having eight or more acts of deep vaginal penetration to orgasm every day not to mention identifying and manipulating their vaginal muscle groups to train them for Pompoir. I had originally thought that eight weeks would be sufficient, but the first weeks pace was physically harder on the girls than many of them would be able to continue so I extended it to nine and included Anya’s and my partners in the male rotation as well so the girls get to rotate through nine men and Anya and I do too.

Anya says I was looking out for myself, but I like to think I was being lenient on the girls as vaginal epithelium is very delicate and too much of the wrong, especially dry, stimulation can put a woman physically out of action for penetrative vaginal sex for weeks and mentally for longer. The men are not on performance enhancers since one of the tasks of the trainees is to arouse their partners who by now are operating near the limit of their sexual performing capability. The men rotate to a different girl each day so there is the excitement of a new partner with his and her unique look, scent, taste, feel and style of lovemaking that keeps things interesting and since I’m fertile I love having a man fill me with his sperm! Of course when I’m fertile I’m double bagged with an Oves screwed down on my ripe cervix and a Reflexions latex flat spring over that so I should be quite safe but the thrill of something going wrong and me ending up carrying one of the trainer’s baby is just so unbelievably arousing! I’d have it sucked out of course as I haven’t spent thirty-five years keeping my body in top physical condition to have a man’s sperm push it all out of shape and take a year off my performing life.

Beguiling a partner with Caya: As this is written I’m CD 12 and fertile. Any woman reading this can surely tell I’m having such a good time with the new men – the ones helping train the candidates for intimate Personal Assistants positions with Taryn’s new personnel placement group. For women using a diaphragm there is no better way to get a man interested in that device than to ask him to ‘help’ with its insertion. The Caya with its nylon arcing spring rim, smaller cervical cup, grip dimples, relief arch and removal dome is easier to insert and remove than the traditional circular latex or silicone diaphragms previously available.

From a male partner’s perspective the Caya’s upturned relief arch which fits up behind the pubic bone minimizes the likelihood that he will hit the anterior rim; and the slightly textured matte surface of the cervical cup increases his sensation thrusting against it are improvements over the traditional diaphragm. And I’ve found that very well endowed men who can reach into my posterior fornix when I’m entered from behind enjoy thrusting into Caya’s soft rim spring.

I’m becoming much more of a fan of Caya, especially as a toy. Returning readers will recall that even though I wear a U.S. dress size two I’m at the upper design limit of the Caya since I take a conventional 80 mm diaphragm. Consequently I’ve been a bit apprehensive of its effectiveness for me. However, now that I’m using it more I’ve found that Caya consistently develops a strong suction (more about that below) and I’ve never had it displace. So now I’m learning to relax while using it especially with a well endowed partner because in missionary he can push the sloping anterior side of the 55mm cervical cup deeper into my anterior fornix than the suction in the cup has pulled it and move the relief arch enough to caress my G-spot. That way I get G-spot and A-spot orgasms simultaneously which turns me into a gasping, moaning, mewing, quivering, boneless mess making it very difficult - even with very strong feet and ankles - to remain balanced en pointe when taken while standing backed against a wall or studio mirror! Of course depending on each woman’s pelvic anatomy and her partner’s size she may, or may not, find Caya as much fun as I do.

A clever Caya wearer will first show her partner how she inserts and how she removes it before letting him try. I’ve found that my lovers are very interested in learning how to insert and remove my diaphragm correctly as they get a thrill from helping me protect myself so they don’t need to wear condoms. They are also very quick learners though most want to try inserting and removal far more times than they need and I let them because we both enjoy them with their hands in my vagina. Expressing the remaining air from the cup with the fingers during insertion is something I always do and teach my partners to do it correctly because it increases the suction insuring a better seal which I find comforting. It is also something that my partners love to do as they get to play with my vagina and ‘accidently’ caress my clitoris shaft with a thumb causing me to gasp and moan while giving them confidence that my cervix is well protected. I believe that since I’m at the upper design limit of the Caya the stronger the suction in the cup the safer I am from the possibility of my Cays displacing or rotating and a partner under-thrusting the rim.  

Possible problems with a male partner helping with insertion are: 1) The wearer could become aroused and her vagina lengthen (tent) making it more difficult (or sometimes impossible) to get the posterior rim behind the woman’s cervix and deep into her posterior fornix if he has short fingers. Although lying on her back and pushing down will force her cervix closer to the entrance to her vagina so that pushing the folded rim along the back wall of the vagina should get the rim beneath and behind the cervix. Once he thinks the Caya is correctly placed her partner should feel for her cervix under the cup to make sure Caya is correctly positioned. It is important that the woman check behind her partner to double check her cervix is indeed in the cup. 2) The male partner may in some instances become so aroused that he ejaculates before penetration. However, this can be seen as an advantage as his refractory interval will allow time for him to give his partner her pleasure with his fingers before another erection will allow him to penetrate her and fill her with semen.

A caution: The Caya is a one-size-fits-most device. Very petite or very tall women may not be able to use Caya effectively because it was designed to be used by women who take the four most commonly prescribed sizes of traditional diaphragms; 65mm, 70, 75 and 80mm. Additionally, the wearer must have a well defined retropubic niche 1 to 2 cm deep into which the relief arch will fit properly, which most women do. 

The Caya diaphragm, Tim and I, fetish diaphragm sex

The Caya single size contoured diaphragm

The Caya market: The Caya contoured diaphragm with a polymer arcing spring rim was designed for use in locations where medical professionals are not available to fit diaphragms. Caya is a one-size-fits-most device designed to fit women using the four most commonly prescribed sizes 65, 70, 75 and 80mm, of conventional diaphragms. Caya has been available in The UK and Europe for about two years and in mid 2015 was approved by the FDA for use in the U.S, but it is available by Rx only.

I’ve discussed the Caya and its uses in previous posts and occasionally use it myself when I’m luteal, but I don’t think it is as effective for me if used for contraception during fetish sex as it can be more easily under-thrust than can a flat spring rim latex diaphragm which my clinic now fits as standard for Escorts unless the patient is allergic to latex. 

Caya the pros:

• Polymer rim spring compresses into a long oval with the posterior rim arcing down slightly to ease slipping under and behind the cervix. The rims flexing properties are very similar to a conventional coil spring rim.
• Designed to fit women who wear conventional diaphragms from 65mm to 80mm.
• The soft 75 mm polymer rim spring flexes to accommodate depth of 65mm conventional diaphragm wearer.
• Matte texture of the cup increases sensation for the male partner.
• Grip dimples provide finger placement guidance and firm grip for insertion.
• Removal dome makes removal easy. And, depending on the length of the fingers it can also allow the wearer’s or her partner’s finger to easily move the removal dome gently back and forth over the wearer’s G-spot (if she has one) to stimulate her to orgasm making it much easier to give many women who can wear a Caya a G-spot orgasm, though the ease will depend on exactly where her G-spot is located.
• Relief arch makes it less likely for a partner to hit the anterior rim.

And cons:

• The small 55 mm, inner diameter cervical cup makes wearing it for heavy days flow control during menses less useful than an Omniflex that has a larger dome.
• To accommodate the upturned relief arch of the anterior rim in front of the removal dome, the wearer needs to have a pronounced post-pubic vault (or retropubic niche as  the makers call it) one to two cm deep which most women have; otherwise a partner can hit the rim.
• Rim contour (ahead of the grip dimples) increases the likelihood of under-thrusting if the Caya rotates too much.
• Worn by a woman whose correct size in a conventional diaphragm is smaller than 65mm the contoured rim will bend more ahead of the grip dimples making it much easier to under-thrust the Caya if the wearer is taken while unaroused. Or, cause it not to seal correctly and leak and the rim pressing on her urethra can increase the likelihood of developing a UTI.
• All cervical barriers rotate, but for those with a circular cross-section (all except Caya) rotation doesn’t matter as far as the seal is concerned. When Caya rotates the contoured rim is more likely to break the seal. Rotation is thought to occur from a thrusting penis rubbing more against one side of the dome than the other. So if both the penis and dome are not well lubricated friction can cause the device to rotate significantly.

Tim and a change in plan: It’s Monday January 4^th 2016 and I’m CD24 as this is being written. I’m luteal and don’t really need to wear a barrier for contraception, but I found that Tim likes to help me insert either a Caya or a Reflexions if we are to go diving (I check after him to make certain my cervix is in the cup) and he loves the additional stimulation from rubbing his glans on Caya’s lightly textured dome which saves me from having to intentionally contract my muscles and lets me just enjoy having him thrusting inside me.

The plan changes are significant. After 12^th Night (on January 5^th) my wards their boyfriends and Anya, who arrived on Sunday as the last of my house party guests were departing will fly down to Virgin Gorda aboard Limnaea II, my. Marvin is not going. He is returning to Cambridge to “work” and ‘Miss Nexplanon’ his current dick-a-chick is going with him! I’m not surprised, but she isn’t a dancer and can’t wear pointe shoes (I’ve already covered that base and she doesn’t have the feet or strength for wearing them) so she won’t be replacing me as Jenna when I’m wearing her Bloch Alpha pointes.  Marvin is just looking for a young, tight, deep, easily controlled vessel in which to plant his seed while he is away from me so I know he will be back.

And, I’m not going to Virgin Gorda immediately after 12^th Night either. I found that Tim doesn’t have to report back to his unit for another two weeks, on the 18^th, and I’ve asked him to stay here with me which he is delighted to do! Yay! I should be fertile on the 16^th so I’ll need to be careful the last several days we will be together, but until then I can safely have his sperm in my tubes and not worry about an unintended pregnancy.

By then Bea and her boyfriend will be back at Cambridge so after I see Tim off Nikolai and I will fly down to Lost Cove to be with Anya and the Dryads (Bryony and Claire) and their boyfriends. Nikolai will have time off from the ballet then so he will be my partner on Virgin Gorda. It will be his first time in the BVIs and we are both looking forward to having dive-sex in the cove.

Tiny Tim and me: For the next two weeks Tim and I will be alone together except of course for the castle staff.  He has had SCUBA combat training so is well qualified as a diver. Though I’m pretty sure he hasn’t been in an operation where he has had penile-vaginal intercourse with a woman underwater before. So, I intend to give him a lot of practice to eliminate that gap in his training. We slipped away from the rest of my guests on Saturday to have Carla, my Divemaster, fit him with an OTS Guardian FFM and we tried it out wearing BCs and 130 cu ft HP steel tanks in the shallow (64 ft deep) well where just to get acclimated to the energy and the amount of air expended (you tend to forget about air conservation techniques during orgasm) during dive-sex we could breathe regular air rather than Enriched Air Nitrox with 32% oxygen (EAN32). I tethered my ankle leash to the net strung across the well at 30 feet to prevent a diver in an uncontrolled descent from sinking to the bottom.

I inflated my BC and hung weightless tethered by the leash while Tim untied the hip bows of my thong and fingered me. For the dive I wore a latex Reflexions flat spring diaphragm making sure to express the air from the dome with my fingers to strengthen the vacuum in the dome and applied 10ml of the silicone lube DiveGel+ from a disposable vaginal applicator before getting in the water. I wore the latex Reflections for two reasons primarily because a flat spring rim is nearly impossible to under-thrust so it performs extremely well as ‘flood insurance’ to prevent the hydraulics of a lover’s thrusting from forcing water into the wearer’s uterus and because the silicone gel lube needed for underwater sex will not harm a latex barrier.

He was such an able and fast learner! On our first dive he got off twice by thrusting while we were in more or less vertical missionary. Then I gave him Pompoir while he stayed still and hard as deep as he could get while I milked him with my muscles. It was such a wonderful encounter that I hated to have to surface. The good news is that he will be with me for the next two weeks!

SILCS diaphragm - under development

The single-size (70 mm) SILCS silicone diaphragm

A reader’s query: This was posted as a reader’s comment and my reply on my October 23, 2010 Entry “Gas guards for high school girls”. It concerns a new design for a cervical barrier that still has to be approved by the FDA. I haven’t discussed SILCS before so I thought I would re-post this discussion where more readers can read it.

The reader wrote: “SILCS is an intravaginal barrier device currently under development. It is made of silicone with an arcing ring. SILCS has a pre-shaped rim to cling high in the vaginal vault and a finger cup on one edge for easy removal. It will be a one-size-fits-all device. I would appreciate your expert opinion on this new contraceptive Diaphragm. http://www.path.org/projects/silcs.php”

My reply: Actually, SILCS is a single size (70 mm) one-size-fits-most device of advanced design. I like the design, but I hate the fact that it will be available in only a single size. Current thinking is that SILCS may be available as early as 2011. The FDA has yet to approve it for use in the U.S. I am very skeptical about the effectiveness of one-size-fits-most contraceptive devices.

The intention of PATH is to develop a simple inexpensive device that poor women in under-developed countries can use without the attendant costs of medical providers, pelvic exams and fitting visits and in this they may be successful. The four most prescribed diaphragm sizes in the U.S and Europe are 65 mm, 70 mm, 75 mm and 80 mm. Currently diaphragms are made in sizes from 60 mm to 90 mm.

That SILCS will only be available in a single 70 mm size is worrying. A single 70 mm size is too small in a traditionally shaped diaphragm for many women and using a too small device would decrease its overall effectiveness for users. That’s because a traditionally shaped diaphragm that is too small will expose the anterior rim to the likelihood of being thrust underneath by a partner’s thrusting penis. With the penis under the dome at ejaculation sperm is deposited against the cervix protected only by the spermicide which should be applied in the dome. The curved relief arch (on the anterior rim) of the SILCS design may (or may not) go some way to minimizing the problem of under-thrusting, but we won’t know about that for years.

I have no doubt that if SLICS becomes easily available in under-developed areas where it will give women something to use where previously they had nothing, then it is a major step forward. I’m not at all certain that it is as good as or better than a properly fitted and correctly inserted traditionally shaped diaphragm.

SILCS showing the curved anterior relief arch