The tease, the altar ego and an ANR

Teasing Marvin in a pair of my old Gaynors

The photo: Me introducing “Morning Wood” to Gaynor Minden pointes teasing him with the ribbons – tying my feet into my shoes which he thinks of as ‘ballet bondage’ - before our first ballet-sex encounter with me wearing them. He understands as few other men have how important wearing pointes is for me as they boost my confidence exponentially.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder): After watching Brad switch, change personalities, from his vanilla in-charge self when he is the professional psychiatrist helping me understand my new role as a sexual libertine, to his kinky identity when he is a asexually assertive submissive in my thrall when I am wearing Jenna’s things I’ve concluded that he has at least two distinct personalities; the eminent psychiatrist and the love-sick sexually assertive submissive.

Marvin “Morning” Wood: For a link to an article about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) article click: HERE.   This article says that multiple personalities occur from some childhood trauma from which the individual is trying to protect him or her self. Nothing that Brad has told me about his childhood indicates that so perhaps he is just good at hiding it. However, I think his marvelously studly sexual  submissive identity, Marvin “Morning” Wood, began appearing shortly after his marriage to Jenna (I’ve seen letters addressed to her from Marvin Wood when he traveled so she knew of his alter ego’s obsession with her in pointe shoes) as he craved her approval for his masculinity. From what he’s said I think the ‘Morning Wood’ persona was developed fully shortly after her death as he began the search for her replacement. For the time being he seems to have settled on me and he is thoughtful and affectionate and a magnificent lover as his fetish personality suggests, and, during a sexual encounter with me as Jenna he takes directions wonderfully. I love it that when we are out together with me as Jenna he likes me to call him ‘MW’ or Woody.

He named his alter ego appropriately as I’ve never seen a harder or more ready man when he wakes and he usually needs to get off several times before his penis wilts. I’ve begun having a casino car pick me up at his place when I sleep over because some of the best sex with him is in the mornings, so I need time after I shower to get myself together before leading an early morning class at the casino. I don’t think he is violent or that I’m in any danger, but I believe he wouldn’t mind if I was able to give him such an intense sexual encounter that it killed him. I think I mentioned earlier that sometimes before we have sex he is so needy he seems suicidal.

Jenna, Marvin and pointe shoes: Brad’s alter ego Marvin was so needy when I returned from Scotland! I‘ve decided to try and gradually expand his sexual experiences with me as ‘Jenna’. And because he is so into pointe shoes I think I stand the best chance of getting him accepting new things in that area of his fixation since he relied on her to show him what she liked which influenced him. Not that he is getting tired of Jenna in Bloch Alpha pointes he still lusts for her in them, but eventually her supply of Alpha shoes will be used up so this is a good time to ease and tease him into what I hope will be a strong fascination with GMs.

I’ve already begun to limit the amount of ballet-sex I’m offering him while wearing Alphas, explaining that I’ve just found Gaynor Minden shoes which are more comfy while lasting longer. He’s not concerned about the cost of her shoes, but he does appreciate her making good economic choices. So while he was cautious about loving her in GM pointes as much as in Alphas after the first several ballet-sex encounters with me on my toes in Gaynors he became a believer, because Jenna was a believer in them.

An adult nursing relationship (ANR):  I found Marvin loves breast milk. I had meant to pump my breasts before I went to Brad’s, but didn’t have time so I took the pump along thinking he might be interested in seeing me pump and perhaps would even want a taste. When I’d made the change to Jenna and unzipped the bag holding my Medela he wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I was going to pump my breasts as they were full (32 B/C cups when they are engorged) and I needed to be milked. I was about to offer him a meal at my breasts when he hung his head and asked quietly if he could please breast feed. I was amazed! It turned out that Jenna had needed all her output for their son and then as she started to wean him she refused Marvin’s request to breast feed because she was trying to stop lactating as she began getting her body back in dancing shape again.  That I hadn’t asked him was in keeping with Jenna’s earlier behavior, but when I agreed and put my pump away he was overjoyed and we lay on the couch in his living room with me on a thick soft towel to catch any nipple leakage when he hungrily latched on switching his sucking between breasts until he had emptied them.  

So an ANR is a huge plus in my favor in my role as Jenna as he is now more invested than ever in the delusion that I’m Jenna and with him developing an adult nursing relationship with me it should make my control of him more profound.  I am going to have to watch the quantity that he is taking because I don’t want my breasts to increase in size. Returning readers may remember that I’m taking meds to limit my milk supply so I don’t lose my 32B cup size and therefore my Balanchine figure. But lactating burns calories so I can eat just about anything I want and with my ballet training regimen, frequent intense sexual activity and being gently milked routinely my weight is stable at 105 lbs.

Sounds and scents of rubber sex

Interspiro FFM showing adaptor plate, beneath ONU, where twin-hose reg is mounted

The Neo-Queens of neoprene: We are offering a two day course for escorts on SCUBA wearing for surface sex and the first eight classes are fully booked. It’s sort of a reverse strip in rubber and among the rubber fetish community it is becoming increasingly popular. We are teaching the girls how to get the most sound and scent from their equipment. Neoprene and latex - while both rubbery materials - sound and smell differently and have different stretchiness depending on thickness and purity of the materials. By far the most common rubber suits are the ubiquitous neoprene wetsuits. Latex wetsuits are far rarer and far more costly and are sold as fetishwear rather than sports equipment because there is almost no thermal protection when wearing latex vs. neoprene. We teach the girls how to tease by lingering over the pulling on of neoprene tights and then working the toes and feet into rubber booties and pulling the stretchy bootie shafts over the ankle cuffs of the tights with the creak and squeal of friction from dry tight rubber surfaces rubbing and the snap of contracting rubber-on-rubber when the seals close as the booties and gloves are pulled on. And, for the couples really into rubber lust the woman will wear a ripe Reflexions latex gas guard so her lover can smell its musky stench and watch her insert it.

New fetish booties: Gepetto has designed optional footwear for women in the rubber fetish community who can wear pointe shoes. It is the pool-pointe bootie, a pool-pointe with a bootie top. Returning readers remember that pool-pointes are silicone rubber pointe shoes with a blocked toe-box and unbreakable carbon fiber shank and Velcro closures on the ribbons. And, lead weights can be added on the platforms to hold the wearer on the bottom of a pool. The inside of the toe-box is heavily padded so no taping or padding is needed so they can be worn out of the water. Once the toes are seated in the toe-box the wearer points her foot, puts weight on the platform and pulls the stretchy bootie shaft over the ankle cuff of the neoprene or latex tights. Grippers on the inside of the bootie shafts hold the tension on the toe-box holding it securely on the foot. Putting on the hood with its long shoulder skirt is another opportunity to tease putting up our long hair, pulling the hood over the head, pushing loose strands of hair back under the hood and adjusting the skirt over the shoulders and tops of swelling breasts. Then pulling on the zip front jacket with the double-ended zip pulls, so the client/lover can get to the girls breasts and crotch, and zipping up the wrist and ankle seals. We recommend using Interspiro FFMs [shown in the image accompanying this entry] modified to take a Mistral twin hose regulators so the couple can get close face-to-face w/o having single hose regs sticking so far out front. Twin-hose regs are also handy in case the encounter leads to dive-sex since the exhaled air is vented out of the reg housing on the top of the tank leaving visibility excellent between the girl and her lover.

Sensual attraction: Both men and women seem to be attracted by the sounds and scents of sex in rubber both while on the surface and during dive-sex. The hiss of air being sucked through the demand valve and again on exhaling (this is especially true when using a twin-hose reg), and the burble of bubbles as the air from exhalations rushes toward the surface. On the surface the creak of neoprene as weight is shifted from one leg to the other and air tanks are adjusted and the creak of the pool-pointes as the woman’s weight shifts while en pointe flexing the shanks. I love the compression, the zip and creak of the straps on my five strap spider FFM head-harness as they are tightened seating the seal against my cheeks clamping my nose and mouth in the rubbery scented oral-nasal unit of my Interspiro FFM, used with a Mistral twin-hose. And the ever present scent of my own estrogenic sweat as I pull on my rubber suit teasing my lover into arousal and then sweating, panting and mewing into my ONU during my own arousal and the marvelous escape to an exquisite explosive vaginal orgasm. It’s a sensuous bouquet of scents, sights and sounds guaranteed to arouse the most jaded rubber Dom.

My alibi for missing Astor Courts - continued: I keep forgetting that readers don’t follow my cycle to know when I’m menstrual. Well, except the reader (You know who you are!) who charts my cycle as closely as I do, but on his own calendar. I think that’s so sweet! Go figure! I was CD2 on July 31st, when Chelsea and Marc were married and if I had been traveling then I would have been traveling with a Milex Omniflex inserted for flow control. No big thing, but I prefer to travel with an Oves sucking on my cervix. I think that’s a psychological hang-up, a holdover from when I flew commercial and had to go through scanners that picked up the metal spring rim of my diaphragms and I had to explain that to the TSA agents. Sigh!

I know I would have tried to be on my best behavior while wearing a diaphragm at the wedding, but it could have been a bit touchy. That’s because I could have met someone who was really happy to see me and while the dome collects flow amazingly well the dynamics of a thrusting penis against the dome will cause the rim to flex, which it should. But what that means is that when the rim flexes it leaves a thin coating of blood on the vaginal wall that will coat a partner’s shaft. So, if he isn’t very careful a partner could get a little blood on his trousers. Even if he was wearing a root boot he would need to take care stripping it off afterward. That would have really been a bummer if he was a member of the wedding party, especially if his wife found a stain. Well, it didn’t happen! I’m told that everything went very well for the entire weekend at Rhinebeck. Chelsea was very smart not to have invited me.

Dive-sex collateral damage: We are starting to see cases of teens wearing their Mom’s diaphragms dry (with no spermicide) for dive-sex. That’s good news and bad news. It’s good that teens recognize they need to use a gas guard, but it’s bad to use someone else’s GG without being fitted so you know the device is the correct size. That’s a problem because with a gas guard that is too small a partner can push his way under the rim and leave semen in the dome. If that happens and she conceives the unintended pregnancy can be taken care of relatively easily. However, with a penis thrusting under the dome the gas guard is no longer protecting her from the possibly fatal side effects from penetration of the upper reproductive by air bubbles or pool water caused by the hydraulics of her partners thrusting. That can cause an embolism from gas bubbles or infection from pool bacteria. I keep stressing to my students the need to wear a correctly fitted gas guard, preferably a Reflexions flat spring diaphragm or a cervical cap during dive-sex to be as safe as possible.

Ballet boots at an “equal-footwear” casino

Ballet-Boot encounters

A reader’s query: “As far as I know wearing ballet boots is mandatory for all female guest - the girls working there not to mention.”

This was such a good question I thought it deserved a more detailed answer in a place where more interested readers could see it: I wrote in my reply:

“Not exactly… In the best of all worlds that would be the case. However, as I’ve complained in earlier posts the number of women who can successfully (forget about comfortably) wear ballet boots is limited so we are an “equal-footwear” casino for women.”

Ballet boots and other shoe fetishes at the casino:

Now, the rest of the story: We are interested attracting the fetish community and since in addition to ballet boots slippers, stilettos, gladiators and pointes all have their fetish following as well we want as many women through the door as possible, because they attract men who are the big spenders. The only thing we don’t allow anywhere in the casino is KP Fighting boots because alcohol and fighting boots are a dangerous combination.

Footwear for female employees with customer contact varies depending on the venue. Some work in ballet boots (primarily the girls at Naughty’s) others are in toe-shoes, pool pointes, ballet slippers or stilettos or pony boots. In Naughty Pleasures our up-market cabaret all the girls are in ballet boots. In “Tease”, our Slipper Club they work in Latex, kid skin, canvas or Lycra slippers and pointe shoes. And Hose is our stockings bar where the girls wear Wolford as their primary costume, but will wear special order hosiery on request.

Tease: I haven’t mentioned Tease before because it’s relatively new and we are still experimenting with footwear, up-close-and –personal which we are using as a form of foreplay with customers to interest them in something more expensive. At Tease a hostess will perform a private twenty minute barre routine and then let her customer remove her perspiration soaked shoes and smell them, suck her sweaty toes and wash her feet while she masturbates for him. At our slipper shop a customer can buy a pair of slippers (we stock them in our dancers sizes) for his dancer to wear while doing her barre routine so he can take them home as a sweat soaked souvenir. A client can cum in the slippers but only after she takes them off, not before she wears them because of the possibility of STIs from walk-in customers. Penetrative sex isn’t a menu item at Tease, but having a barre encounter there often leads to a customer moving on to our more intimate offerings at Naughty’s.

Naughty Pleasures: At Naughty Pleasures our full-service cabaret the customers often bring their own sexual partner, though escorts are available, and it’s a place to watch the Doms parade with their latex or leather arm-candy. All footwear is allowed (except KP fighting boots) but prowling women almost always wear the highest heels they can to attract men. And arm-candy is almost always in satin or leather ballet-boots and we are beginning to see a few pairs of latex BBs which fit like a second skin and are extremely hot to wear. Naughty’s singles bar, the Meat Market, is a fave meeting place for adventuresome young hardbodys and women customers there wear their best pairs of fuck-me heels. We make a profit on the alcohol, bar food and ancillary services for Naughty’s customers. Things like live sperm to hot-load a girl’s syringe plug, a selection of male & female condoms and spermicide for spur of the moment encounters, and an extremely popular cobbler shop.

The cobbler at Naughty’s: The cobbler shop repairs broken stiletto heels, sandal straps and ballet boot laces and heels that break, bend or fall off. You wouldn’t believe the number of pairs of ballet boots that fail in one way or another while the wearer is at Naughty’s. We pride ourselves in having a turn-around interval of 20 minutes or less in the cobbler shop. We also have a small Boot Bar in the cobbler shop if a woman would like to try on a pair of Gepettos ballet boots. Since his boots are all custom they can’t be purchased on site but the boot bar sends a lot of prospects his way. However, his prices are extreme and there is a waiting list. The hassle to get a pair of Gepettos is like trying to get a Birkin bag, but way more erotic!

The Agent Provocateur tease

Agent Provocateur ballet-boot wannabes

Agent Provocateur: Brit-chicks go kinky, but it’s only a tease. Sigh! The Agent Provocateur girls are not in ballet boots! It is a huge disappointment to the fetish community that AP pulled its punches and decided not to have the girls wear real ballet boots! The fetish world from which AP derives so much of its fashion inspiration feels, well, almost betrayed. Surely it wouldn’t have been that difficult to do the shoot with the girls in real ballet boots with the girl’s sur les pointes. It would have had so much more edge and immediacy to it. As it is, anyone who knows anything about fetishes, which the girls are supposed to be into, knows there wasn’t enough talent in the shoot to have them on their toes. I think it ruins the whole thing!

I’m wearing a Prentif cap: I'm CD19 today and have switched back to one of my new 25 mm Prentif cervical caps to wear for a few days. And, I'm rather enjoying it! It feels different from Oves in several ways. I can feel the suction more and my partners can more easily bump the dome which the more modestly endowed guys like. I think wearing a Prentif so a partner can ram the soft rubber dome makes a guy feel larger - and more confident about himself - when he can reach his partner's cervix...I can tell that my guys seem to swagger a bit more after they have bumped my cervix regardless of which cap I have sucking on it. With the Prentif dome they think they are bigger, not that I'm wearing a different barrier, so my cervix is easier to reach. I let them enjoy the fantasy.

Executive owner on premises: I'm on duty tonight and wearing my casino Director’s uniform; black Wolford Fatal fifteen tights, black leather Freed Classic pointes with Forteflex shanks and a black front closure compression cup sports top with a gold barrette holding my hair in a high pt. In addition to Prentif tonight I’m also wearing a Penetrator plug. I’m plugged – because I’m on duty. Everyone likes to cop a feel, and the firm warm convex shape of the plug head they feel through the sheer black seamless crotch of my Wolfords, lets them know I'm not available. It saves me telling the guys to stop fingering my crotch. The only problem of the night so far has been with a high roller who was angry when the bar staff in Naughty’s cut him off because he was becoming aggressive and we wouldn’t serve him anything but coffee. He rushed the stage and threw a glass of ice at a dancer who was unharmed. He then staggered backwards and managed to fall off the stage and break his collarbone and arm. Fortunately the security cams picked up the whole thing and no employee or entertainer touched him during his attack nor was anywhere near him when he fell off the stage. So we are good on that one.

Too tight: A new escort trainee and I had an accident earlier today. He isn’t all that long, about 7 inches, but at 2 ½ inches in diameter he is awesomely thick! We were working with him taking me from behind while I was bent over holding on to the barre en pointe in another pair of my signature black leather Freed Classics with Forteflex shanks. I had warned him to be careful in that position when thrusting into me because he is so thick and I'm so tight with my vaginal muscles clenched that even when well lubed two men have already torn in me. Both guys were near orgasm and didn't want to stop and both were circumcised so that could have made a difference. Anyway, he got his rhythm going well and we were building to orgasm when he caressed my sweet-spot and tipped me over the edge into a vaginal orgasm. My contractions were just enough to cause him to tear and he continued thrusting for several strokes before he realized something was wrong and withdrew. He was bleeding badly even after we used a coagulating cream and ice. He was rushed to the ER and sewn up but will need plastic surgery and be out of action for at least six weeks and will need physical therapy. I think he may need counseling as well because he kept mumbling, “I don’t believe she did that to me!”

Ballerina birth control before the pill - Part II: In my post for October 12, 2009 entitled ‘Ballerina birth control before the pill’ where I covered European dancer’s use of the Prentif cap I neglected to mention that Prentif first became available in 1930. The Arcing spring rim diaphragm – the ubiquitous Ortho All-Flex is a modern example – was developed in Germany in 1929 but never became as popular as the cap in Europe, perhaps because the cap was smaller and could be worn for longer intervals; 48 hours for the cap vs. 24 hours for the diaphragm. Whatever the reason caps became the cervical barrier of choice for most European ballet dancers. In the U.S. cervical barriers were illegal until the late 1930s and so supplies (primarily diaphragms) were smuggled into the country from Europe. One of the unmentioned reasons that women in the few North American ballet companies wanted to tour Europe was so that they could be fitted with the Prentif cap and buy several spare caps to bring back to the U.S. with them. Only in the mid 1940s did diaphragms become generally available in the U.S. after laws were passed to assure that they were available only by prescription through doctors. After that diaphragms became the predominant cervical barrier in the U.S. Only in 1988 was Prentif approved by the FDA for sale in America and the cap finally became legally available. Even so the European ballet dancers working in the U.S. from the 1930s on wore Prentif caps which they had brought with them and there was a lot of money made illegally fitting and supplying Prentif caps for American dancers.