Boxing Day, diving the well

This year Monday 28 December is Boxing Day

The Photo: A caution to frenzied UK after Christmas sales shoppers

Blackthorn Barony and Boxing Day: The Oxford English Dictionary gives the earliest attestations of the term as being from England in the 1830s, defining it as 'the first week-day after Christmas-day, observed as a holiday on which post-men, errand-boys, and servants of various kinds expect to receive a Christmas-box'. However there are indications that gift giving to tradesmen and servants on the day after Christmas began long before that name was attached to the custom.

Presently in UK Boxing Day is the day after Christmas. However, because Christmas is on Friday this year Boxing Day is celebrated on the following Monday, December 28^th. These days in the UK, Boxing Day is a bank holiday when the after Christmas sales begin. Traditionally ‘Christmas boxes’ contained money or presents and the Barony’s ‘boxes’ for employees who have performed satisfactorily throughout the year contain a sum of money equal to at least 10% of the servants annual wage. The Barony’s boxes are distributed to employees by the Baroness on the afternoon before Boxing Day and to tradesmen and others on Boxing Day itself.

 For her female employees my predecessor Edith, as 22^nd Baroness Blackthorn, began a tradition in the late 90s of allowing most of the Barony’s women servants to travel to London aboard The Dragon the night before to attend the sales on Boxing Day. The minimum staff that stayed behind on Boxing Day to provide hospitality services to the castle are taken to London for the sales aboard The Dragon the following Monday. Anyone who has been in domestic service in a major household knows how tightly they are run so having time off with meals, transportation and lodging (sleeping aboard the Dragon in very comfy reclining seats) on their employer’s dime is very rare. Although the excursion is not entirely w/o oversight since very junior staff are in the care of senior staff members on the trip to ensure no harm comes to them. Male staff gets an equal amount of time off to hunt or fish on Barony land. So that has proved an extremely popular tradition.

Multi-bed hyperbaric chamber: The four bed industrial multiplace hyperbaric chamber (MHC) was the last piece of major equipment installed in my dive facility. It was installed in a space reserved for it after I decided that I could rent out the facility as a diver school when I wasn’t using it and needed an MHC to ensure I had the equipment needed to get the necessary approvals and licence. It’s an upgrade from the one that is about six years old that Adolph, my friend in Vegas, has installed for his dive facility that was used also by women in residence at his Spa, The Lorelei, near by.  

Diving the Well: I try not to vary my exercise routine very much regardless of what is going on around me because at my age I can’t afford not to keep my body in top dancing condition. That’s especially true over the holidays when fattening foods and sweets are so plentiful so that it is harder to keep the pounds off. So after my daily ballet barre and pointe classes I’ve been diving the shallower, 64 ft., well for dive-sex with one of the ballet-boys who are here to provide erotic companionship over the holidays. Carla fitted him with one of the Guardian FFMs reserved for guests. I chose him because he is very well endowed, is an avid SCUBA diver and has a reputation as a considerate partner and an awesome underwater fuck.

I find it amazingly exciting to hang restrained by an ankle leash weightless tethered to the floor 64 feet below the surface sucking gas while having my brains fucked out by a marvelous hunky and very experienced lover.  At that depth using regular gas rather than a Nitrox mix I sometimes get just a touch of nitrogen narcosis which heightens my danger if I’m not careful. To avoid that we breathe Enriched Air Nitrox with 32% oxygen (EAN32) to minimize the chance of nitrogen narcosis and extend dive time w/o decompression. Even so I have deco lines and spare air hung in both wells for periodic decompression stops the last being at 15 feet if needed. After sex I love having an afterglow nap while still tethered to the bottom. I have my computer set to alarm when I’ve reached table limits and I need to deco during ascent. Dive-sex uses a lot of air as air consumption techniques are pretty much ignored as you are racing toward and at orgasm so we use 130 cu ft HP steel tanks. That way we can usually have at least three encounters and a nap before we ascend.   

Since it’s after Christmas I’m luteal, I ovulated on Christmas day, so right now I don’t need a cervical barrier for contraception. I just need reproductive tract protection for ‘flood insurance’ to prevent having water forced into my uterus from the hydraulics of a lover’s thrusts if or when my vagina floods which is a common occurrence for women during dive-sex.  Ideal for dive-sex flood insurance is a latex Reflexions flat spring diaphragm because silicone lube so necessary for extended intercourse underwater can be safely used with a latex diaphragm and unlike arcing and coil spring rim diaphragms the flat spring rim is nearly impossible to under-thrust even when the man is intentionally trying.

After inserting my Reflexions I always squat push, down to force my cervix closer to the entrance to my vagina and use my fingers to express the air out of the dome forcing the stretchy rubber deep into my anterior fornix to be held there by the suction which appreciably increases the strength of the suction in the dome and therefore the strength of the seal and the safety of the device.

Female staff off: Three thirteen passenger vans took the ladies of the castle staff down to Caersws to board The Dragon for the overnight trip to London for the sales. They will sleep and eat aboard the train and the Dragon will be parked at an unused platform at St Pancras so they can breakfast and leave for the sales when the stores open. They were so excited! I’m glad to be able to do something to please them as they work very hard to please me during the year.

SCUBA diving, menstruation and DCS

Emptying a Diva Cup menstrual cup

The photo: The Diva Cup comes in two sizes. Size 1 cup is 1 11/16" (4.3 cm) in diameter and the Size 2 cup is 1 13/16" (4.6 cm) in diameter. Both cups are approximately 2 1/4" (5.7 cm) in length in the body of the cup, with another 3/8" (1 cm) stem (2 5/8" total length). Until I bought my new Diva, just before we came to Scotland for the Solstice I was wearing a size one and it worked well. However, even I have to give in to age after a while so I decided on a size 2 as I’m now 43, but my vaginal muscles are far stronger than most twenty-something ballerinas known for their amazingly tight grips.

The Diva Cup should be emptied, washed and reinserted at least twice in 24 hours and can be worn overnight without concern of leaking and it can be safely boiled if necessary to clean it. Even on heavy days I can wear it for 12 hours w/o it needing to be emptied. DivaCup holds an ounce of menstrual flow (30 ml) and as the average woman only flows about 1 to 2 ounces (30-60 ml) per cycle so most of us can go longer than 12 hours w/o emptying if necessary.

Willow’s Royal Ballet friends and menstrual dive-sex: Since the Royal Ballet is off for a few weeks Willow asked four of her more sexually adventurous girlfriends from the corps and their boyfriends to come up to the Abbey for a few days of fun and relaxation and they arrived on the overnight train in Himself’s private car that had taken Jacks guests back to their jobs in London. The girls were so amazed at the luxury, blown away really since they got to have menstrual sex all the way from Euston to Inverness and despite a large supply of thick dark red towels provided for just that eventuality managed to get His Grace’s 1,000 thread count sheets bloody. All the girls are completely waxed with the exception of scalp hair and eyebrows which makes cleaning up after menstrual sex much easier.

Three of the four have GyneFix copper IUDs implanted and are menstrual while the fourth is on combined oral contraceptives (COCs) and started a new pack w/o having withdrawal bleed (her pill period) so she can dive period free during her time at the Abbey. The GyneFix girls are wearing menstrual cups.  All were fitted with latex Reflexions FS diaphragms for flood insurance to use while having dive-sex. It’s fairly unusual for ballet dancers to have copper IUDs placed because most enjoy being period free. However, some like Willow’s friends, find they are at a secondary libidinal peak while bleeding and are far moiré creative when fertile so they feel the inconvenience of dealing with flow control is worth it to be able to enjoy the cycling of their natural hormones.

Menstruation, hormonal contraceptives and DCS: There is a correlation between increased instances of DCS and the first week of a woman’s cycle when she is menstrual especially if the woman is on strenuous long or deep dives. Less frequent or shorter less strenuous dives during her period reduce the chances of DCS significantly. There is no indication that using hormonal contraceptives increases a woman’s risk of a DCS incident.   I’m CD26 and luteal and shouldn’t start my period until this coming Friday when I expect Bea, Willow and the Swan Twins will begin to bleed as well since they are in menstrual synchrony with me.

Of course while diving menstrual flow usually stops because diving is very dehydrating since the pressure forces water out of body tissues and fills the bladder, which is why even when you empty your bladder before diving after you have been down for a while you need to urinate again. However, after surfacing menstrual flow begins again and then some of us will gush filling our menstrual protection (tampons) occasionally to over flowing which is why a menstrual cup or a diaphragm works so well as they can withstand the gush that may occur shortly after surfacing. .

EAN32: However, because Willow’s friends are bleeding and menstrual dive-sex will be strenuous for them we are all diving enriched air Nitrox (EAN) with 32% oxygen rather than the 21% oxygen in regular air to reduce the possibility of DCS incidents. In order to do that our Divemaster had to clean our regs and OTS Guardian FFMs to ensure they were safe for use with EAN32 as there is an increased risk of fire when using improperly cleaned masks and regs with high oxygen content gases. Our 80 cu ft tanks are filled from a large cylinder delivered from a dive specialty shop in Aberdeen that services the divers working in the North Sea oil fields.

Menstrual dive-sex and cramps: Almost all women who have tried having sex underwater while menstrual have reported feeling totally free of menstrual cramps after an underwater orgasm. It’s common knowledge that an orgasm during conventional (surface) sex has cramps relieving powers, but as underwater sex is thought to be kinky very little to no research has been done under dive conditions so we are left with our own and friends experiences which for the most part have been very positive as far as relieving menstrual cramps is concerned. I’m sure it’s the endorphins released during sex, especially orgasm that relax the muscles in the uterus.

Underwater: Before diving we all emptied our bowels and bladders and our partners (chosen by coin flips among all nine of us girls) got to watch as we each inserted our latex flat spring diaphragms and then had the lucky guy insert two fingers and feel the cervix under the stretchy rubber membrane. then we let him insert a 10ml disposable applicator of silicone based DiveGel+ - which is a lubricant and biocide - and depress the plunger to add waterproof lube for the moving parts. Then we entered the water. The guys loved ‘helping’ and it was a fun way to get them invested in our safety.

Diving the cistern for dive-sex each girl has one leg tethered to an ankle leash connected to an iron ring on the cistern floor and there is a ring set into the floor in the center of each bay. After being tethered her buoyancy comp is inflated to keep her more or less stable while her partner moves between her spread legs and after pushing aside her bikini thong caresses her clitoral shaft to give her her first underwater orgasm as she sucks gas her bubbles rush to the surface and she quivers, moans, mews and gasps in her mask. Then he pushes inside her and grasps her buns to hold himself as deep in her as possible as he begins a series of thrusts caressing her G-spot before her muscular orgiastic contractions tip her over the edge into ecstasy taking him shuddering and gasping with her filling her with hundreds of millions of sperm as his body tries again for immortality.