‘J’ on body hair & the penis

British testicular cancer awareness poster
In the U.S testicular cancer awareness week is April 1-7, 2011

About the photo: While we are discussing male genitalia I thought it would be timely to mention that in the U.S. Testicular cancer awareness week is April 1-7, 2011 and I’m encouraging all Pirate’s male escorts, and my male escort candidates along with the stallions in my circle as well as my male readers to be checked for TC. And on the subject of body hair, the man in the poster is unshaved.

Body hair: J “Women have much less hair to begin with... usually. Some have little or no hair on the legs or arms and certainly none on the backs, bellies, chests and ass. So an overall hairless body actually looks more consistent and visually "organized" and attractive. However, there are men who are covered in/with hair, and some with a moderate amount and a few with very little on their bodies. Their heads is another matter as male pattern baldness is quite common even for males whose body is carpeted with hair. Thankfully my own torso is almost hairless. We are more accustomed to the hairless male swimmer, body builder and I suppose dancer (ballet and modern). Being hairless in those activities seems to be either or both a performance and an aesthetic issue. Hairless bods seem to be the idealized presentation of the human form - look at art from as far back as the Greeks. But perhaps there are people who like and even fetishize body hair below the neck. I'm not one of them! Removing hair for men for the above reasons - performance and aesthetics is a much larger "maintenance" issue for the typical male than for the typical female as they begin from "different" starting points. Aesthetically a shaved cock and balls / pubic area can actually look a bit odd attached to an otherwise hairy body. And considering how much real estate a male has to cover when maintaining a hairless body I suspect few have the time or the patience or the money for such a high maintenance regimen. And literally hair removal of some parts of the body can't even be done by a person to themselves... such as the back... I would think. So here one needs a partner or regular visit to a waxing salon for hair removal. I suppose hormones also influence hair growth. But this has other down side risks and affects associated with it. I suppose from an appearance POV a catsuit provides a short cut means of achieving the look and somewhat the feel of a hairless body...though the wearer compressed hair covered skin will not experience the same thing as latex or whatever the textiles is over hairless skin or naked flesh for sure. I find both hairless males and females more attractive (especially pubic regions) and certainly when they have well toned bodies... no confusion with age play attraction issues. I've always demanded my SOs shave their pubic region.”

Dance belts & Penises J “The dance belt we've read about and even see the camel toe which clearly suggests the opening into the vagina. Obviously displaying a camel toe is deemed provocative and usually avoided by showing a smooth mound of the vulva. Males however do not display the actual shape of their genitals even in dance where it is packaged into a "dance belt" worn under tights. This is for at least two purposes: one to protect the male external equipment which could be subject to damage from some "moves" and interaction in dance... and the other is to provide a smooth line and not interfere with the shape of the male body. The cock is truly an appendage which seems to be not part of the "body aesthetic". Yet there are those who find the (erect) cock has aesthetic appeal. Obviously some specimens being more appealing and suggestive of a perfect form, much like a Balanchine body does for the female dancer. So virtually all dance "discards" the phallus presenting it as a smooth mound or basket as the vernacular goes. This does present "issues" for the male sex player fetishist on some levels. The female form can be completely displayed or hidden (except for erect nipples) an aroused state. Not so for the male whose cock will become engorged with blood and offer up an erection. An erect penis is a very different animal from a flaccid one for any number of reasons. There are fetish garments which encase the erect cock, not unlike a condom encases the erect shaft. But wearing a garment which anatomically encases and therefore displays an erect cock is certainly considered inappropriate except for sexual purposes. Some fetish clubs even suggest such displays are inappropriate. Ironic isn't it? Whipping, bondage, masks and other outlier displays and behavior are deemed acceptable, but an aroused male is sometimes seen as threatening and inappropriate. And certainly displaying the male genitals would be considered bad form. Of course in some fetish settings and certainly in erotica, displays of erect males are often expected... regardless of the "scene". Cocks and bounds...”

Males with a dancewear fetish: “Cocks and bounds” indeed! There are a lot of males with dancewear fetishes who claim not to wear anything under tights or a leotard to support or protect their genitalia while taking ballet class. I understand a man who gets off by wearing tights wanting to hang loose, but he would disrupt any ballet class of amateurs with women in it and wouldn’t be allowed to participate by the school for esthetic as well as insurance purposes because aside from being a disruption in class of the likelihood that in time he would hurt himself or be injured by someone else. So as far as I can tell men who say they take ballet classes w/o wearing a dance belt or at least a Speedo slingshot are fantasizing. As a British choreographer once said (well before Celia Franca who is listed as saying it by Google) “There are certain parts of the human anatomy that simply can’t be choreographed,” and male genitalia are one.

The Cock Conundrum: J “Transactional sex between a male and female for coital sex will require that the parties be sexually aroused for each to enjoy the experience. An aroused female vagina is naturally lubricated and a woman who controls her vaginal muscles can experience a more powerful orgasm and have more control with respect to the stimuli provided by and to a phallus. A women can of course, as we have recently read in Jill’s World, use a mechanical device to provide the stimulation which can even “out perform” a human phallus. Some women prefer their dildos and fucking machines to live partners. Of course one problem with coital sex, is that the male and female performances are very different. A male who passes the arousal phase, passes the point of no return, will then experience orgasm and ejaculate and usually lose his erection. This is followed by a period of relaxation accompanying the loss of erection associated with the release of semen. This may quench the male’s need, driven by the itch of arousal satisfied by the pleasure of orgasm, but it can and often does leave the female frustrated as she remains in the arousal phase and facing the loss of the stimulation provided by an erect thrusting cock in her receptive and demanding vagina. Does this mean a change of stim approaches? This has led to the notion of the simultaneous orgasm. When SO can be achieved presumably the parties each are satisfied, tension has flowed away and they each relax into the post orgasmic glow. (Women seem to be much more adapted to multiple orgasms directly related to the nature of the genitals. Achieving simultaneous orgasm is another one of those goals or holy grails of sexual congress… especially to the “vanillas”. Achieving SO would seem to require a level of communication and control as the parties each take a fair amount of responsibility for both their and their partner’s performance. See the article on ripple gripping. Sex works both ways! Fetish sex often dispenses with all of the complexities surrounding the SO and literally separates the sexual responses and roles of the parties. The notion of the holy grail of simultaneous orgasm is tossed out the window, in favor of the parties concentrating on the pleasure and arousal of one party at a time… sort of. Getting someone off is considered and experienced as sexually exciting, though not necessarily orgasmic. This is also a vanilla practice to be fair. So as one party is not concerned with their own orgasm or even arousal… they turn their complete focus to bringing their partner through the entire sexual response in some sort of negotiated or understood process. This may involve extending and intensifying if possible the arousal period and even amplifying the orgasm and for kinksters it might even involve denial of orgasm or creation of even “ruined orgasms” for males at least. And then there is the CB crowd who even milk males and remove the biological need for an orgasm. People do the darnedest things for sexual thrills"

The simultaneous orgasm in practice: At night when I want something to put me to sleep I will have a man give me a G-spot orgasm and as I’m reaching the tipping point I begin ripple gripping him just before he pushes me over the edge into ecstasy. At that point my involuntary muscle contractions take over, he loses control and orgasms filling me with semen and we go together! Going together is very, very satisfying to me! But one thing I insist on is that I get pleasured! So most men launch me into orgasm first, especially during the day when time is of the essence because we may be interrupted.

The erect penis & female power: J “Erect cocks can and often are perceived as erotic visual stimuli. You don’t display them in polite society. A female may and often does see her partner’s erection as an expression of her sexual appeal. Whatever she does, says, smells or looks like, her hair or make up, what she wears or how she moves or behaves can re read by her if it has a provocative effect on males as affirmation of his desire for her and the power of her sexual appeal. Nothing new here. Women have learned all the tricks of making themselves into sexual objects… subtle and in your face. This ranges from turning a head of a passing stranger, right through to a visible bulge in a man’s trousers to a raging erection in a male she is with. Women dressing for arousal and therefore their own pleasure is accepted practice… within proscribed boundaries of course. Society would not approve of librarians in rubber catsuits and stilettos… at work! Tease and denial is a key aspect of BDSM and D/s play and so holding a partner in an aroused state requires tangible evidence of arousal – hence the erection… the moist panties, erect nipples and other signs of sexual tension. The Domme will often demand and expect and exact visible signs sexual arousal from her slave and or submissive partner. Accordingly she will do what may be required to display their arousal, but of course often control and even deny the release of the sexual tension she creates. This may be seen as humiliation, or it may be perceived as her erotic power to maintain a male in a constant state of unfulfilled arousal. Males, of course, may welcome this sort of attention, reveling in being held in a state of sexual tension seems to outweigh being ignored or left without any sexual attention. This type of play is accompanied by the notion that an aroused and erect male may be helpless and mentally incapable of resisting. But he also might be aggressive and inspired to rape. All he can focus on is his state of sexual tension. Sexual arousal represents a sort of one way street. Once we turn down it, or are led down it, we can’t or certainly don’t want to reverse and feel compelled to continue.”

BDSM sex and more: J “Transactional fetish sex makes a clear separation of roles. Each partner expects the other to provide their arousal and guide their sexual response. The dominant partner is free to “use” the submissive in any way to bring about their own pleasure and this may involve training, conditioning and controlling the male erection, or even denying orgasm. The submissive sexual partner expects the dominant partner to play them as a sexual instrument. They turn over control of their body’s response including sexual to the dominant. It’s the deal they make. You get to play with me doing X, Y and Z because I (and you) find it sexually stimulating to do so. A sexual sadist will claim they require a consenting masochist, whether or not the masochist finds the experience evocative of their own sexual response. Most kinky masochists find the experience erotic and even orgasmic and at the very least sexually arousing. Presumably sadists likewise experience an aroused state when acting sadistically… although giving into an orgasm in the process is rarely if ever seen. One usually sees an erect cock in BDSM scenes indicating that whatever is going on is experienced as sexually exciting."

"Humiliation and sadism may have nothing to do with an erotic experience and there are some extreme types of BDSM play which go outside of sexual arousal and deal with a whole other set of human responses – pain, psychological humiliation and so forth. This would be extremely troubling… ie an SM experience where there is no sexual response from the parties. This sort of cock conundrum is complex and nuanced”.

My friend Adolph is one who is into very brutal sex that begins with a female partner believing the goal is mutual sexual gratification, but in fact it is gratification only for him passing almost immediately for her into pain and humiliation.

The cock ring: J “And then there are cock rings which kinda work like a one way valves keeping them flush with blood and looking all the better for it... said the actress to the bishop.”

Home Depot as a sex toy supplier: I get my supply of cock rings at Home Depot from their selection of silicone O rings. The prices and size selection are far better than from a sex toy store, though the color selection is limited. I’ve found that keeping a man engorged with a CR works wonders if time is limited and I want him to stay focused and get off frequently in a brief interval. On the other hand keeping him in a CR for a long period can simulate the natural occurring condition of Priapism and cause irreversible penile tissue damage so I cut the CR off him after no more than two hours of continuous wearing. That’s another nice thing about getting a supply of CRs from Home Depot they are so inexpensive that you don’t have to struggle getting it off intact, just snip it off with a small pair of cutters.