My new therapist

A Psychiatrist's couch for shoe fetishists

My new therapist: For the past several months I have been seeing a new therapist. A man this time as I felt I needed the perspective of a male since my hunger for men has increased. He specializes in the psychology of sexual need and came highly recommended as being highly successful with some very complex sexual disorders. I have been told many of his clients are severely sexually repressed so I think he was happy to have me to help ‘balance’ his patient disorder mix. I started out by seducing him. From past experience with male psychiatrists I’d say his defenses were pretty strong as he managed to withstand my allure for a full three sessions before I mind-fucked him and left him wanting me. But I had turned up the heat slowly to let him get used to the feeling before he found himself inextricably entangled in my web. At our fourth session I let him think it was his idea when he took me on the huge leather couch in his office. After that session we became brutally honest with one another. The first thing I did once he became enraptured with me was to renegotiate his fee. I was paying $550 per hour for each session which, while not excessive, I’d rather not pay. So I bartered sex lessons for therapy. I’m teaching him to be a far, far better lover and he is trying to get me to understand (but not fight) my need to sexually dominate almost every man I meet. He thinks my sexual aggression is rooted in my being shunned by my father and my inability to get him to have sex with me. Returning readers may remember that my mother’s husband was not my biological father. My biological father was my mother’s uncle, whose mining fortune passed down to me. Life is complicated, but the up-side of that relationship is that it would have prevented my having sex with my mother’s husband from being incest.

My new therapist, David, was amazed that I have been able to so effectively compartmentalize my feelings so that I can enjoy the physical and mental ecstasy of sex with a man w/o becoming emotionally attached to him. Not that I can’t be gentle, sweet and kind while with him, but just not hormonally addicted to him bound by the flood of oxytocin that sex releases into my bloodstream. What David says I am addicted to is the adrenaline high of physically dangerous sex. Things like breath control to intensify the ecstasy of an orgasm, or having sex beneath a moving train. (I learned to do that under coal trains in South-West Virginia.) Or sex with Caesar, my male tiger. Or dive-sex with a man who shuts off my air where his job is to fuck me while preventing me from turning it back on.

For that last scenario I have (at least for now) run out of men who are willing to have dive-sex with me. You would think a man weighing twice what I do and with much greater upper body strength would have no problem subduing me but even though I have offered a huge amount to any man who could subdue me long enough to bring me to the surface unconscious after we had dive-sex, not one of my seven partners for the project has been successful. In the nine attempts to win the prize only two of them have tried twice, the rest quit while hospitalized while I’ve come away with only a minor sprain and some bruises.

Adrenaline addiction: I do so love the thrill of having amazingly virile males fill me with sperm, their biological drives going full out attempting to pass on their DNA by creating a new life in my belly. Of course it’s possible that I could have a contraceptive failure especially since I try to take as many men as possible when I’m fertile, like today when I’m CD11 my estrogen is peaking and my cervix is ripe and draining fertile cervical fluid. But there are other options if my Oves cap fails, like Plan-B and Mifeprex if should I start producing hCG, the pregnancy hormone. But one of the things that curls my toes is the possibility of needing that back-up, the possibility that a man could actually get to me intimately enough for his sperm to fertilize my egg. The risk of being impregnated and being starved for oxygen during orgasm are two of the greatest thrills and adrenaline producers for me. David thinks I have a death wish. He thinks I’m taking out my frustrations with my ‘father’ (mother’s husband) for not having sex with me by attempting to bend every man I meet to my will. If so I’ve been marvelously successful at it so far. But then I was given a beautiful body and a devious mind and not many men object to having a pretty woman wanting them to take her to bed.

After the first few times I had sex with David, while we were in afterglow still laying on that huge leather couch in his soundproof office, I told him I really enjoyed sex with him and I’d never had a single thought about him being a surrogate for my ‘father’. He smiled, stroked my hair which was loose and framing my face and told me again, as he had many times before, that my trauma with my father shunning me is buried deep in my subconscious and is manifesting itself as an irrepressible need to conqueror attractive males to prove to myself I was capable of having any man I desired, except my father of course who started the whole thing and has been dead for years. He said that since my father is dead there can be no simple closure to my need and that I should be grateful that my problem is not more destructive than it is and that it should be manageable. I was disappointed in that bit of wisdom because I’d been managing my ‘problem’ successfully for more than 20 years! The only aspect of my hyper-sexuality of real concern to me is the possibility of getting an incurable STI, but I’m very careful about that. Not even accidentally being killed during an intense sexual encounter, though that possibility is a driver for massive infusion of adrenaline which I crave, would be all that bad since I would be totally involved with having sex with a man when it happened.

David hasn’t called me a Nymphomaniac, but he talks about my “insatiable need for men” and says I’m an “aggressive sexual predator”. Or perhaps that’s just a “sexual predator” because I wouldn’t be much of a predator unless I was aggressive, right? I rather think of myself as being very assertive rather than aggressive, but when I grab a man by the balls and squeeze while he’s still wearing trousers, I suppose that could be considered aggressive. I’ve only done that (in public) on one occasion when the guy wasn’t taking me seriously but that instance has become a viral legend about me now so guys tend to stand sideways when we are talking face to face. Sigh! I did ask David about the rumors that I’m a succubus and if I should try to combat them. He thinks I should just carry on as I always have and that people will eventually get tired of talking and move on to something else. I’m trying to do that and really thought I’d be able to ignore the talk but that hasn’t happened, at least not yet. I think succubus is a bit too strong a term, but I don’t deny that I have strong appetites. The buzz does give me a cachet that other women in my circle don't have which I’ve found to be useful in my line of work, getting men to do what I want both as a performer and in the business world. But women rarely introduce me to their boyfriends or husbands any more.

Pointe shoe Quiz

What maker’s shoes is this dancer wearing?

Yet another in an occasional series: To returning readers this should be an easy one.

A reader’s query

Anxious during sex with ball-gag inserted

A reader’s query: About my July 10, 2009 post ‘My wedding fantasy’ He emailed me (That was quick!) wanting to know if the bridegroom took me to orgasm and if I used anything to muffle the sounds of my delight.

That’s a good question and the answer is that with a man that thick (just a bit more than 2 inches in diameter) he can easily take me to a G-spot orgasm. So I wore a ball-gag that pretty much muffled my screams of ecstasy when he tipped me over the edge into a free-falling orgasm! Oh my God! Was that ever awesome sex with him! The single strap ball-gag, similar to the one in the accompanying pic, was what I used so it didn’t muss my hair. A ball-gag was a less than ideal arrangement because it prevented us deep kissing and me from sucking on his nipples, but it was the only thing I had that would muffle my screams and that I couldn’t expel when he rammed my cervix. Wearing a ball-gag during sexual exertion is messy. I inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth around the ball and saliva sprays everywhere, in my case it splattered against his chest and dripped back all over my face. I had to wash up and put on new makeup before I could rejoin the party, but he was worth it!

My wedding fantasy

Gillian Murphy and Maxim Beloserkovsky in Sylvia

ABT’s performance of Sylvia: We had a great time in NYC at the wedding and at my place on Virgin Gorda. In NYC we slipped away for a few hours to attend an ABT performance – at Lincoln Center - of ‘Sylvia’ the three act ballet by Frederick Ashton and it was marvelous! We had great seats row N starting on the aisle in the orchestra. Gillian Murphy (the auburn haired poster-girl for Gaynor-Minden) danced Sylvia and Maxim Beloserkovsky danced Aminta. Delibes music was beautiful and they were marvelous together! The performance was such a delight!

Sampling the Groom: The wedding went well. Everyone enjoyed Pirate’s gift, the sex for the wedding party. I hadn’t seriously intended to pursue a fantasy I had, but the opportunity arose as I was chatting the groom and one thing led to another. We were standing so close that as he rubbed against me I could tell he was really happy to see me! So, I’m pleased to say I was successful in having a quickie with him! It was only out of professional curiosity you understand - to see what sort of technique he would bring to the marriage bed. He is well hung and when aroused is about 7 or so inches long, but what I loved best was that he is at least 2” thick making him a really tight fit which was beneficial for us both! I was drippy wet by then being in the midst of a fantasy so we only used my natural lube. I had had his medical records hacked (just in case things got that far) to find out more about him and he had just had a complete physical, including a full panel of SDI tests, so I knew he was safe. He had no such assurance about my sexual health, but when I offered him a condom he said he never used them, but he did ask if I was protected and I said yes, but didn’t tell him what I was using. Fortunately the timing was right and I was CD27 and wearing an Oves cap so I was quite safe. Had it been two days later I would have been having my period and have been wearing a Milex diaphragm. There would have been no concern about pregnancy, but there is a certain amount of blood that coats a partner’s penis when a diaphragm is being worn to collect menstrual flow because the diaphragm moves around and the vaginal walls are coated with blood. So while there isn’t a huge mess a partner still has some blood coating his shaft when he withdraws.

Thinking back on our encounter I may have spoiled him for his bride. I certainly hope not, but I ripple-gripped him the third time he took me, when he began to falter and trying to please a man who has been ripple-gripped can be a hard act to follow. I hadn’t intended to ripple-grip him but we had so little time (about 30 minutes) alone and I wanted him to take me more than once. When he began to wilt while drilling me for the third time in 20 minutes I couldn’t let him drag things out and possibly fail to perform just ahead of his wedding night (What a psychological downer that would have been for him!) so I sucked the semen out of him with my vaginal muscles. All he could do was tighten his grip on my shoulders, quiver and gasp “Oh my God!” over and over with an occasional “Dear god, or an Oh shit, you have an amazing grip!” I love being able to surprise a new man with the strength of my pelvic muscles! He is a big well muscled man 6’4” and 230 lbs and my face was buried in his thick brown pelt of chest hair. I loved smelling the scent of his soap and sweat as he was crushing me in his arms! When I finished him off he collapsed on top of me gasping for breath and I had to struggle to roll him off me as he so large. Afterward, as he recovered, I Kegeled his load on to the sheets and then made up the soiled bed. He couldn’t walk for a few minutes and I thought surely someone would catch us because we were in the bedroom of the suite where the bar stock was being kept, but finally he got dressed and staggered out and I followed a few minutes later with no one else in the wedding party being the wiser.

The Adiana contraception system

FDA Approves Hologic's Adiana(R) Permanent Contraception System

“Adiana system offers safe, simple, effective alternative to tubal ligation

BEDFORD, Mass., July 7 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Hologic, Inc., (Hologic or the Company) (Nasdaq: HOLX), a leading developer, manufacturer and supplier of premium diagnostics, medical imaging systems and surgical products dedicated to serving the healthcare needs of women, today announced the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved the Company's premarket approval (PMA) application for the Adiana(R) permanent contraception system. The Adiana system is designed to provide women a minimally-invasive, non-incision alternative to traditional, surgical means of permanent contraception. In January 2009, Hologic received CE marking approval for the Adiana system and commenced marketing and sales of this product in certain European countries. In addition to this News Release, please view the Multimedia News Release related to the Adiana system at: http://www.prnewswire.com/mnr/adiana/38601.

To view the Multimedia News Release, go to: http://www.prnewswire.com/mnr/adiana/38601/

The Adiana permanent contraception procedure is minimally invasive, requires no incisions and can be performed in the comfort of the doctor's office using local anesthesia. Patients are normally able to return to work or resume their daily activities within one day. In contrast, traditional methods of permanent contraception, such as tubal ligation, require more invasive surgical procedures, usually are conducted in a hospital under general anesthesia and typically require four to five days of recovery. As a result, these more invasive surgical procedures can pose serious risk of complications, including anesthesia-related problems and damage to organs or blood vessels. There were approximately 70,000 female transcervical contraception procedures performed in the U.S. last year.(1)

"While tubal ligation is the most common form of permanent contraception used throughout the world, hysteroscopic procedures such as those employing the Adiana permanent contraception system enable women to choose lifetime protection from pregnancy without the risks of general anesthesia and the longer recovery periods associated with traditional sterilization procedures," said Ted Anderson, M.D., Ph.D., associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Vanderbilt University, and clinical investigator of the pivotal clinical trial for the Adiana system. "The Adiana procedure is a safe and simple alternative that not only provides patients with peace of mind in preventing pregnancy, but also leaves nothing in the uterus that might limit women's options for future gynecologic tests and procedures."

The Adiana procedure is indicated for women who desire permanent birth control by occlusion of the fallopian tubes. Ideal candidates include women who do not want children in the future and would like the peace of mind and convenience of permanent birth control. The procedure may also be an ideal solution for women who desire permanent birth control but are poor candidates for surgery.

"Many women seek relief from the uncertainty and hassle of temporary birth control methods once they know their childbearing is complete. However, few know that permanent contraception is available without incisions, the use of general anesthesia, or need for lengthy hospital stays," said Tony Kingsley, senior vice president, GYN surgical products at Hologic. "With the Adiana permanent contraception system, we are very excited to be able to offer these women a new alternative for their long-term contraception needs."

During the Adiana procedure, a slender, flexible instrument is passed through the body's natural openings to deliver a low level of radiofrequency (RF) energy to a small section of each fallopian tube. A tiny, soft insert, about the size of a grain of rice, is then placed in each fallopian tube in the location where the energy was applied. During the three months following the procedure, the patient continues to use temporary birth control while new tissue grows in and around the Adiana inserts, eventually blocking the fallopian tubes. At three months, a special x-ray test (called a hysterosalpingogram or HSG) is performed to confirm the fallopian tubes are completely blocked and the patient may begin relying on Adiana for permanent contraception.

"This is another significant milestone for Hologic and our GYN surgical products business," said Tony Kingsley. "With FDA approval of the Adiana system, we are now able to provide physicians with another non-hormone, minimally-

invasive therapy that addresses a significant issue for women in their post-childbearing years."

(1) January 2009, "U.S. Markets for Women's Health Devices," iData Research, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. iData is an international market research and consulting group”

Personal comment: I think Adiana is a great improvement over Essure (a similar method that uses tiny metal coils inserted in the fallopian tubes) because the metal coils used in Essure can heat up or snag during some intra-uterine medical procedures thus limiting a woman’s treatment options. Our clinic has been training our Gyns to place the Adiana inserts and will begin offering the procedure shortly. Sterilization is not something any woman and especially one who has not had children should have done without considerable thought. That’s because it is irreversible and there is a percentage of women who have ‘patient remorse’ after being sterilized regardless of how good their reasons were. There is something – the very essence of being female - about being able to reproduce (even though we have no intention of becoming pregnant) that is lost after we are no longer able to carry new life in our bellies.

The Terminator

The Terminator

Abortion pill used in a quarter of US abortions

July 8, 2009 Associated Press Writer Linda A. Johnson, Associated Press Writer

“Roughly a fourth of American women getting early abortions last year did so with drugs rather than surgery, statistics show, as a new study reported improved safety in using the so-called "abortion pill."

Some experts predict the percentage of such "medical abortions," which offer more privacy than surgical termination at an abortion clinic or hospital, will rise even more due to the new study.

The research, done at Planned Parenthood clinics across the country, shows that a new way of giving pills to induce abortion virtually eliminated the risk for a rare but dangerous infection.

"This is the first really huge documentation of how safe and effective medical abortion is," said Dr. Beverly Winikoff, a professor of family health and population at Columbia University. "The technology is very good and very well used in this country, and probably will be used more and more."

Two [types of] pills are used to induce an abortion. The primary drug, Mifeprex, was first approved in the U.S. in 2000. Use has risen steadily, even though manufacturer Danco Laboratories LLC of New York hasn't promoted it and the drug can only be obtained at a clinic or doctor's office, not through a pharmacy. Sales rose 16.5 percent last year, when about 184,000 American women used Mifeprex.

Medical abortions now account for about a quarter of early abortions, according to company spokeswoman Abby Long. At Planned Parenthood, the biggest provider of medical abortions, they amount to 32 percent of early terminations.

The group's study analyzed medical abortions at Planned Parenthood centers between 2005 and mid-2008 — about 228,000 cases. It found the abortion pill was about 98.5 percent effective and that changes in how the drugs were given reduced risk of a serious infection from barely 1 in 1,000 cases to 0.06 in 1,000.

The results are reported in Thursday's New England Journal of Medicine.

The procedure, which works during the first nine weeks of pregnancy, involves swallowing Mifeprex, known chemically as mifepristone, at a doctor's office. Originally known as RU-486, the pill causes an embryo to detach from the uterine wall. A second pill, misoprostol, is used 24 to 48 hours later to cause contractions and push the embryo out of the uterus.

These drugs are different from Plan B, which is taken within a couple days of contraceptive failure or unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy from occurring.
Originally, the procedure involved inserting the misoprostol pill into the vagina where the medicine was absorbed. But by the end of 2005, four American women and one Canadian had died of a rare bacterial infection afterward, spurring concern among providers and criticism by abortion opponents.

So in April 2006, Planned Parenthood told its 300 clinics offering the procedure to instead have patients put the misoprostol pill in their mouth and let it dissolve.

Some clinics also began providing a week's course of antibiotics to avoid infection; the others tested women and treated any with sexually transmitted diseases. In 2008, all the clinics started giving patients antibiotics.

"We decided we needed to make a safe procedure even safer," said the study's lead researcher, nurse practitioner Mary Fjerstad.

By the study's last six months, serious infections had declined to one-16th of the original rate.

"I think that providers are going to be pretty impressed with the data," said Dr. Beth Jordan, medical director of the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals, which plans to highlight the findings to doctors, nurse practitioners and pharmacists at its annual meeting in September.

Given that 87 percent of U.S. counties have no abortion provider, Jordan said the findings might encourage some primary care doctors to offer abortion using the pills.
"But I don't think it's going to open the floodgates," she said.

In October, the National Abortion Federation, representing 400 centers that provide more than half of abortions in the U.S. and Canada, will review the findings and decide whether to make changes accordingly. Federation President Vicki Saporta said current guidelines allow putting misoprostol in the cheek to dissolve, swallowing it, or inserting
it in the vagina, which more than a third of her member clinics do.

Saporta said abortion opponents "have been misleading people into thinking that medical abortion is unsafe," but the study proves the procedure is safe. The cost is $400, only slightly less than the median cost for an early term surgical abortion.

Since approval in 2000, there have been six deaths from sepsis, a bloodstream infection, among the more than 1.1 million American women who have used Mifeprex, most recently one in July 2007. That's a death rate of less than 1 in 167,000, according to the maker, and less than 0.1 percent of patients have needed transfusions.

Misoprostol, which is officially approved in the U.S. for preventing stomach ulcers, is sold under the brand name Cytotec and made by Pfizer Inc.

Winikoff and Saporta both raised concerns about giving a full course of antibiotic treatment to all women to prevent very few infections — unlike the brief preventive dose given with surgical abortions. They said that could trigger a rare allergic reaction, add to the problem of antibiotic resistance and add to the cost of the procedure — making it unaffordable in developing countries.

Chris Gacek, a senior fellow at the anti-abortion Family Research Council, said he wasn't surprised by the increasing use of Mifeprex.

"I don't think at this point we're going to do anything" to try to limit its use, he said. "It's hard to know whether this increases the (total) number of abortions."”

Personal comment: About 65% of the patients coming to our clinic for unplanned pregnancies use Mifeprex. The far higher rate is probably because of the much higher percentage of performers and professional women who make up the clinics clientele. Medical terminations are far safer, less invasive and the recovery time is much faster than a surgical option. And, for our patients there also seem to be far fewer psychological side effects.

Travel risks and the pill

FemCap before the removal strap is trimmed off to be used as a sports shield

Travel more than doubles risk of blood clots: study

Reuters Mon Jul 6, 2009 By Amy Norton

“NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - A study published Monday strengthens the evidence that long-distance travel can lead to potentially fatal blood clots in some people -- showing that the risk grows in tandem with the length of the trip.

In an analysis of 14 previous studies, researchers found that, in general, travel was associated with a nearly three-fold increase in the risk of venous thromboembolism (VTE) -- blood clots that form in the veins, often in the legs.

If such a clot dislodges and travels to the lungs, it can cause a potentially fatal condition called pulmonary embolism.

Several high-profile deaths have brought attention to the risk of VTE among travelers, particularly those on long-haul flights. Experts think a combination of factors -- including dehydration and hours of sitting in cramped conditions -- explains why some people develop blood clots.

However, not all studies have found a clear link between travel and VTE. To look at the discrepancy, the researchers who conducted the current review, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, analyzed 14 studies involving more than 4,000 cases of VTE.

Some of the studies compared VTE patients with a "control" group of people who had been referred for possible VTE symptoms, but were found to not have a clot -- a comparison that carries the risk of bias because the control group likely has a higher-than-average risk of blood clots.

In other studies, the control group consisted of healthy people from the general population -- which are more likely to capture the true VTE risk associated with travel, explained lead researcher Dr. Divay Chandra of the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston.

When the researchers looked only at those studies, they found that travelers had a nearly three-fold higher risk of blood clots than non-travelers.

What's more, the risk climbed along with the duration of the trip -- rising 18 percent for every two hours of any type of travel, and by 26 percent for every two hours of air travel.

But while the current findings confirm the travel-VTE link, Chandra told Reuters Health, "there is no reason for panic" because the absolute risk to any one traveler is still low.

Still, Chandra said, "people who travel long distances should be aware of the risk of blood clots and learn to recognize the symptoms."

Symptoms of a blood clot in the leg include pain, warmth, swelling and redness in the limb. If the clot travels to the lungs, it may cause sudden shortness of breath, chest pain or a cough that produces blood.

To help reduce the risk of VTE, experts generally recommend that long-distance travelers periodically move around and stretch their legs, and drink plenty of water to stay hydrated.

Certain people are at increased risk of blood clots, Chandra noted -- including cancer patients, people who have recently had major surgery such as a joint replacement, and women on birth control pills. They may want to talk with their doctors about any precautions they should take when traveling, he said.

SOURCE: Annals of Internal Medicine, August 4, 2009.”

Personal comment: Hormonal contraceptives can have some relatively uncommon but very serious side effects. We try to discourage the use of birth control pills where possible because of the added risk of venous thromboembolism (VTE) and recommend either a GyneFix IUD or a cervical barrier for St Lucy’s students. And, as returning readers know our casino’s entertainers; dancers, escorts and intimate services providers are all fitted with GyneFix implants as well as a strapless FemCaps used as sports shields for thrust buffering and over-pressure event protection.