Sunday, July 28, 2013

Sexual repression and exhibitism

Sexual therapist preparing to work with a male exhibitionist

The photo: A trained escort/sexual therapist wearing new patient selected and purchased lingerie arranging her hair prior to a therapy session. She will be training her patient to relax enough to improve his aim when masturbating to ejaculate between her breasts or improve his other exhibitionist skills with confidence and w/o shame.

Of course our therapists all use an effective method of contraception so when there is a psychological breakthrough and the patient’s confidence with women improves the patient can be encouraged to take the session to the next level and reach release through conventional vaginal penetrative sexual activity. In that way she can help him gradually become confident enough in his ability to penetrate and ejaculate inside her. Using conditioner in a therapist’s hair allows her to easily wash out semen which often splatters in long hair during a therapy session.

Male sexual repression: Recently I’ve gotten several comments from a reader who says he is an exhibitionist. If exhibitionism interferes with a person’s daily life then s/he may be diagnosed as having a sexual disorder called Paraphilia, but for some exhibitionists the compulsion can be a lot of fun when handled correctly. This reader claims to enjoy a form called Martymachlia, defined as a paraphilia which involves sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act. The roots of exhibitism are uncertain, perhaps beginning in early childhood from being forbidden to masturbate even when alone or from other psychological trauma at an early age.

I love men with exhibitionist tendencies as I’m a bit that way myself and because they are the only ones who have the nerve to have sex with me in public. It’s easy to do in crowds especially during the summer at races and parades where I can stand in heels in front of a partner while wearing a skirt and thong or go commando, if we are at a pool where I can wash off in the water later, and have him enter me from behind. I’ve even been taken that way on a NYC commuter train during rush hour while wearing a miniskirt and a pair of Gepetto’s custom made ballet-boots. That time I wore a thong under the mini to collect the coitial discharge after he withdrew since we were going to the races and I didn’t want semen and lube running down my thighs into my boots all afternoon. 

Sexual therapy training for escorts: Our clinic is holding a summer session for Escorts who want to specialize in working with severely sexually repressed men. You would be surprised how many men who appear to be normal and want to perform dangerous sexual fantasies with a professional escort. The course is to help the escorts who provide this service develop insight into the mind of the sexually repressed male and how to interact with him safely in a service provider/client relationship. Some fetishes that I as a sexual therapist specialize in are: lingerie, pointe-shoes, and cervical barriers.   

Risky diving and the cervical cap: I’ve written elsewhere about the general safety and effectiveness of cervical caps, the Prentif, FemCap and Oves, for contraception and as flood insurance for women divers. Returning readers will recall that for parous women caps are not advised as changes in the cervix and musculature of the vagina during pregnancy and birth cause the cap to be significantly less effective than a diaphragm. However, even for nulliparous women diving a cap with a significant void in the dome (Prentif or FemCap) can cause squeeze below 10 meters, approximately 30 feet, which can be both uncomfortable and cause the cap to dislodge, thus leaving Oves and similar designs as the only truly effective cervical cap for contraception and flood insurance while diving when correctly fitted. 

The Silicone Unitized Cap: Because the Oves cap is no longer generally available Labia Labs has developed an Oves like cap of transparent silicone that differs from Oves primarily in the design of the inner circumferential seal that grips the base of the cervix and avoids any patent infringement issues. The Labia Labs device comes in four sizes 19mm, 22mm, 26mm and 28mm to fit most young nulliparous women. The new cap was designed to be disposable, but is rugged enough for repeated use. We are currently in clinical trials with the device and my circle and I now wear it as flood insurance and some of us, like me, for contraception as well.

The snug fit and super thin silicone dome membrane cause the dome to adhere to the cervix by surface tension avoiding any possible problem with squeeze when worn during a deep dive. The only problem with using an Oves type cap is that it can’t be worn during menses and must be emptied of FCM before a dive if the wearer is fertile or the cap may be floated off the cervix. And, of course it can’t be used by a woman with IUD inserted unless the strings have been trimmed off as the strings interfere with the seal of the cap and if the strings adhere to the cap when the cap is removed it could pull out the IUD.  

The design name of the Labia Labs cap is Silicone Unitized Cap or SUC. That name has already been corrupted and morphed to ‘Sucker’, which due to the exceptional strong seal of a correctly fitted SUC is amazingly descriptive. There have been complaints from some trial users that the Sucker is too hard to remove, but for those of us who need the strongest possible seal that’s a good thing.  All it takes is for a new wearer to familiarize herself with the proper insertion and removal techniques for the device, but for women with deep vaginas having long fingers is a must.

Target market: We are getting a lot of interest in the Sucker from young women in the high-end sexual services industry, think Splash Towel-Girls and elite escorts, clients at The Lorelei, Adolph’s luxury Spa and young up-market adventuresome society women who want a back-up barrier that a partner can’t feel during intercourse that will provide almost undetectable and superior flood insurance during underwater sex. 




  1. Your post was a very happy surprise after announcing your holiday to Nonvirgin Gorda (everybody who goes there does it!). It also brought back the film The Sessions which is a beautiful argument for legal sex surrogates. There are many discussions regarding the line between prostitution and surrogacy but, really, does not the good overcome the bad in both cases.
    For those not familiar with The Sessions, it is the story of a thirty-eight year old, virgin, male poet confined to an iron lung except for a few hours each day. It is also a true story. A sex surrogate, working through a sex therapist and with the blessings of the parish priest, introduced him to the wonders of the female body, which he had never seen and taught him how great sex is. He later established a longer lasting relationship until his death leading one to believe that the surrogate was not his only sexual release but actually developed his capacity for sexual love. Not this clinical, the movie is a touching, humourous, real story of the social need for sex surrogacy. That seems to be a niche you are aiming for in helping men enjoy sex in the vagina and not just in public.
    Many physicians I have known, starting with myself, have found a need for sex surrogates, whether or not they ever “prescribed.” I actually did. The only two full time prostitutes (as opposed to seasonal visitors) in a small Scottish village were my patients. Call it pimping if you must but I did cut a special rate for male patients who needed their services. In other, larger places one can find prostitutes who specialize in servicing the disabled, whether physically so or so hung up emotionally that they could not get close to women. Some men do get over it but usually need a bit of help. I am aware of one family here in Germany who have a “woman” visit an invalid man weekly.
    One of my great medical successes was having a sexually stifled woman care-giver of twenty develop a sexual relationship with a cerebral palsy patient. They each experienced what they otherwise could never have – he because of physical disability (he lacked the coordination to masturbate) and she because of the family religious hang-ups that were keeping her home to eventually be the care-giver for her aging parents. She, in turn, developed the fortitude to put the moves on a similarly inhibited young man (same church, similar family). They were eventually married.
    This was all the result of sex surrogacy. Three lives enriched (two possibly saved from waste) by sexual intervention. I had to teach her how to adjust her clothing “to give him a peek,” the advantages of a skirt for straddling the patient whilst other family was home, as well as how to use a condom and vaginal jelly. She never was able to buy condoms on her own, so I was the supplier; her later boyfriend made those immoral purchases and that was a scandal when the clerk (same church) reported the fact to his parents. We solved that by me supplying the ring to her. I still insisted on her using condoms with the CP patient because of the frequency of urethral infections. I bought the damned condoms.
    Anyway, I applaud your attempt at healing sexual hang-ups or inadequacies through use of helpers. Sexual issues are frequently psychologically and often the scars from early bad information. Same church.

    1. I’m so pleased that you have responded positively to my assisting as a sexual therapist. One never knows how my volunteer work for my psychiatrist will be viewed by others when I write about it. It gives me such a thrill to be able to help men to reach their reproductive potential and enjoy a healthy sex-life. With a client in therapy I shift back and forth from Domme to Submissive as needed bringing all my skills to bear to ease his mind and minimize his problems.

      My therapy patients are thoroughly screened for STIs because when we advance to penetrative sex I like to avoid using condoms where possible. I’ve found that not only would most men rather not wear one, but many of my clients at that point in their treatment begin to view me as a ‘breeder’ or occasionally romantically (which I discourage), and develop a fascination with where I am in my cycle and in the cervical barrier I’m using to protect myself from becoming preggers during his therapy sessions.

      While all are grateful for my help in the progress they have made almost all patients seem to think because I’m not on contraceptive hormones I secretly want to conceive and since I’m a professional providing a therapeutic service they feel no responsibility for an unintended pregnancy. A view which I think reinforces their ardor once past a certain point in their treatment. As soon as a patient starts to become possessive I’ve brought him along as far as I can w/o developing a personal relationship and his sessions with me are ended.

      It’s such a pity that religion sometimes gets in the way of compassionate sexual care.

  2. To tell the truth, Jill, I was at first thinking to write the following.

    "Have you ever seen what a high-powered rifle bullet will do to a soldier's face if he's hit on the cheek bone from the side? Well, I have. There is nothing left but a few scraps of dandling meat and bone slivers from the nose down. The hydro-shock rips through his sinuses and blows his eyes out. He will never see, smell, chew or swallow again. Meanwhile, here's some self-indulgent pos all upset because he's too inhibited to cum on a woman's breasts. I can understand why. He realizes that he's f&^%$ing demented but loves his cummies more than sanity. Jesus H. Christ!..."

    Then I recalled your compassionate generosity towards wounded soliders. And so I believe, Jill, that you would do whatever you could for the faceless man I described, though he no longer looks human.

    Nonetheless, the guy who wants to cum on a woman's breasts? He's still an asshole.

    1. Hi Anon, thank you for your thoughts. We all have our crosses to bear. As you know I do help give pleasure to our wounded warriors when I can as well as to those more fortunate men and women who only need sexual psycho-therapy.

  3. Hi again, Jill. Formerly "Anonymous" here.

    If pounding a large nail through my hand would take back the comment I sent, I would gladly do it. Twice, if needed.

    I'm sorry (any other word would seem contrived) that I vented that horrifying image in your direction. I can only hope that I did not hurt you in any way. I think I've seen too much, and have been rewired in ways that make me unfit for human consumption.

    My outward response to my self-created imagery was thoughtless, and was an egoistic act of will, for which I take full responsibility--not that that does you any good.

    Thank you for your gracious reply. It could have easily---and justfiably--been "Go ^%$# yourself."

    You're a better man than I am, Jill. Also a better woman.

    1. Hi Stunning! Welcome back. We all have bad days.

      Your apology is accepted.

  4. Hello again Jill!

    I couldn't help but read your latest entry here and automatically think about myself and my sexual repression, haha. It almost seemed like a coincidence even! I never knew there were escorts who were trained sexual therapists like that.

  5. Stunning,
    Not really my business but I am more impressed with your heartfelt and candid apology than I was horrified at your original post. That was a gutsy step here in the anonymity of cyber-space where you could more easily gone away. May I respectfully suggest that you seek some help with your PTSD. I understand that there are good services in the States and you clearly have the balls to man-up and seek help. Good luck!

    Sex surrogacy is a hot-button issue in many jurisdictions and the laws are usually by nation (in Europe) or state (in the US). Jill obviously approves of it; I clearly stated my support. I do not know where in the States it is legal. Clearly it is ok in California with a limit of six sessions (per the movie I suggest you view). Most conservative politicians and conservative churches equate it with prostitution and I admit to not being able to define the boundaries between them. I have seen sex surrogacy (illegal, where I have used it) work wonders. I have also seen it fail but then no therapy is 100%. There are many responsible prostitutes who will provide the services and some doctors who will actually recommend them. I do not know how to find them; it depends upon your relationship with your family physician or a licensed sex therapist who may take the risk of referral.Three-quarters of the licensed sex surrogates are women serving a male clientele but there are male surrogates who work with women. On your side of the pond, many of the rules, and ways around them, are unknowns.

  6. Evening, Jill.

    I hope to redeem myself for the ugliness I sent, with something beautiful.

    Surely you must be tired of the usual classical ballet music. [I have no idea what I'm talking about, by the way.] Even that part of Swan Lake (I think it's Swan Lake), where the tune goes something like...

    Tuuummmm...tuh tumtum tuh/tuh/tummmmm. [strumpety strumpety strumpety---harp)
    Tuuummmm...tuh tumtum tuh/tuh/tummmmm. [more harp]

    Then Pyotr Ilyich goes off and has a bowl of beet borscht, leaving the dancers saying, "Well, what now, Ivana?" "I dunno, Alexi. You like my buns?"

    Well, here's something different.

    A ballerina in white from head to toe.

    J.H. Schmelzer, Ciaconna in A major. Youtube. Helene Schmitt violin.

    Performed at a memorial service, or anywhere to express inconsolable grief that, through spiralling variations, finally graces the dancer with peace that passeth understanding.

    There wouldn't be a dry eye in the house. Catharsis.

    I'd give most of what I own to see it, or even to know it was done.

  7. Well, dang, Jill,

    I’m see that I violated some blog rules by yacking off topic in response to an earlier post of yours.

    Problem is, this Hill Country Texan Lady----if you stretch the concept of Lady to include gals whose main concerns are who has the biggest bleach-blonde hair and the best headlights (Or is it the biggest headlights and the best hair? Well, no matter. I got the biggest AND the best.)----knows from nothing about ballet, dive sex (unless dive sex includes Johnny Redfern leaping from the dresser to the bed while yelling, “Cannonballs!”),or any other so-called kink.

    I mean absolutely NO offense when I say that the cowboys who enjoy my considerable charms (I can talk like Yacky Doodle when the spirit moves me, and crush beer bottle caps between thumb and index finger---a strength acquired from breaking in new diaphragms), are such sweet-lipped, skinny butt, snuggly-puppy-babies, that I fall in love with every one of them---for perhaps a week. And so, vanilla sex (laced with scratching, howling, and stiletto heels to their flanks---“Move, doggie!”) turns my worm sufficiently, at least for now. [But I intend to learn.]

    In future (as the British say), I'll stay on topic, if I can figure out what it is. Inverse relationship between blonde and brain.

  8. btw, feel free to use my name and story in your blogs. thank you :)

    Glenn Willis Masturbates in Public
    "My neighbor and her girl friends watched me jerk off. They sat in front of me and watched me jerk off and cum. They liked it. I could hear them talking about me and laughing as they watched me beating off, so I jerked off in front of them three times. Each time I came real hard. They watched me cum and it felt great. They were all gorgeous brunettes. I loved it :)

    1. Hi Glenn, For my other readers this is the reader whose similar comment on another post prompted my writing about exhibitism and sexual repression.

      Glenn, there is no point in your sending me 5 comments with similar text.

  9. Hi, Glenn, [Nice bike, btw!]

    Note: The wise exhibitionist, mindful of his audience, uses discretion.

    For example, anyone shows Mr. Howdy to a Texan lady, and she'll haul off and back-slap it into next week.

    Texan women just aren't impressed by mere dick. New Jersey, on the other hand, loves Chris Christie.

    Public service announcement from your friends at Slick "Red" Johnson's Rod and Gun, Laredo, TX. Our motto: You cum in our store, Mister, and we'll blow your nuts off.

  10. Hi Jill,
    I apologize. I won't do that anymore. Please feel free to write about me anytime, and/or to contact me if you wish. I enjoy reading your blogs, as you are intelligent and articulate. Thank you for your patience and kindness :)

    Glenn Willis

  11. There are those who talk about it and those who do it. Exhibitionists get their kicks from doing it; wannabees get their kicks from talking about it. Not too well crafted a story.

    Just turn Glenn over to Esther and let her handle him.

  12. Hi, Jill!

    I'm as open minded as the next gal, but I don't exactly get the point of exhibitism.

    I recall a 3 year old nephew hauling out his baby carrot, giving it the once over, and then sharing his discoveries with dinner guests.

    "Look, Aunt E., it's got a fireman helmet."

    "Well isn't he just precious. Put little fireman back in your shorts and move on down the road, boy. And wash your hands before you touch anything!"

    Well, maybe some males find it infinitely fascinating, like they just can't believe their good fortune.

    "Esther! Look. I can wave it around, or even point to stuff when it stiffens up. 'Over here we have a tasteless lava lamp.'"

    "Just slip this raincoat on Fireman Fred and get the pumper humpin."


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Powys , Wales, United Kingdom
I'm a classically trained dancer and SAB grad. A Dance Captain and go-to girl overseeing high-roller entertainment for a major casino/resort