Saturday, March 8, 2014

Sex with a Succubus - the dead wife fantasy

Jenna’s Bloch Alpha S0104 ¾ outer sole pointes

The Photo: My New psychiatrist’s, dead wife, Jenna’s, size 4 ½ Bloch pointes she wore throughout her cycle except when menstrual. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post when menstrual she wore a 5 ½ in Bloch Alphas.

The dead wife fantasy: In my experience some virile men after losing a mate to death seek solace in fantasy sex and it happens more than you might think. But they often feel guilty about cheating on the memory of their mate. Brad’s wife had been a ballet dancer with the San Francisco Ballet when they met and married while he was in med school. He has photos of her in practice clothes and costumes in his condo and she was a lovely 27 y/o with a Balanchine body (long legs and neck, short trunk, small head and breasts and relatively big feet) when she died. He has repeatedly told me how much I look like her and from the photos of her in his home I could be her identical twin.

It turns out that beautiful Brad has a very active imagination and one of his fantasies is that I’m his dead wife and when we are alone he calls me Jenna. He has given me permission to use her dressing room and bathroom in their Condo when I share his bed. And I’m encouraged if not required to wear her clothes, jewelry and perfume. Nothing in her suite had been touched, except to be dusted and her last dirty laundry was still in her hamper with her scent still on it. I went through her lingerie drawers and closets and I have very similar tastes to hers. She had nursing bras and was still breast feeding when she died so we have that in common too. And just like me she also wore LilyPadz breast pads to help with leaking nipples. 

I meet him at his Condo for our sexual and psychotherapy sessions. Jenna’s small studio with a Marley floor, barre and mirrored wall was converted from a bedroom and can be reached through a connecting door from her dressing room.  I change into her practice clothes which fit me wonderfully well, empty my bowels and bladder, insert one of her Omniflex diaphragms and my sports plug and wear her scent. I come out of her dressing room into the studio where he is waiting for me and only then put on my pointes (Jenna’s Bloch Alphas) where he can watch. All during these sessions he calls me Jenna. After a 20 minute warm-up I change into her stripping costume and back in the studio put on Beautiful Dreamer which was one of Jenna’s favorites. The routine is about 3.5 minutes long and leaves me wearing only my Alpha pointes and plug.

I had intended to wear my own pointes as she wore Bloch in a slightly smaller size and I like hard shanked Gaynors when I’m having sex on my toes since then I don’t have to worry about proper technique and can put my weight on my heels and enjoy being made love to and concentrate on timing my orgasm with my partner’s which is always special being hurled into ecstasy simultaneously. But all that changed, at least while I’m Jenna and recently when I’ve gone clubbing with Brad while dressed in her things. When I tried on her Bloch Alphas I found that I love how they fit and with the ¾ outsole how well they display my high arches! I do just a tiny glamour charm – it’s easy to do with today’s cosmetics - so to him my face and body look and feel and my voice sounds exactly like Jenna’s. When I do that he is in my power and I can do anything I want with him or to him.

His penis is massive! It's wonderfully hard and dripping pre-ejaculate when I finish stripping down to my pointes and plug. He is so ready to take me!  I let him back me against the barre, remove my sports plug and slip it into my mouth as I fondle his testicles all snugged tight against his pubic bone with one hand and caress his nipples with the other while I suck my own secretions off my sports plug before I turn, to face the barre, go on pointe in second position, bend over and grip the barre with both hands and band over and relax my pelvic muscles as much as possible while on my toes so he can enter me. Jenna was one of the few classical dancers who had started wearing plugs to intensify male interest (she was fitted at Gepettos, I checked, and she bought it 6 months before she was killed) so I wonder how faithful Jenna may have been. But I’m certainly not going to mention that to Brad. I’m using my own sports plug as each is custom made to fit the wearer’s pelvic anatomy. Sucking on my sports plug muffles my screams if he rams my cervix tip to tip.

Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex: I’ve written about this before but it bears repeating as there are readers of this blog who try to imitate my use of footwear, often to their sorrow after injuring themselves. Wearing Bloch Alpha pointes for ballet-sex should not be attempted by inexperienced women. Alpha pointes are for women very experienced in pointework advanced pre-professional students or at the professional level and then only by ones with very strong feet. Brad so wants me to wear her shoes when I’m on my toes while we make love, I was skeptical, but I’m glad I agreed to try as I love wearing her shoes! She had almost finished preparing a new order of shoes with ribbons and elastics so she has almost two dozen pairs. Many have already been broken in and are ready to go.

She had lost her baby weight and regained her stamina, I can tell from the level of her Chi, so she was planning a return to performing in the near future when she died though from her aura I can tell she hadn’t told Brad she was returning to performing professionally again. I’m so entheuastic about the Alpha style I’m going to selectively put some of my wards and women escort trainees in Alphas to increase the difficulty of their training. Both Bea and Willow have Giselle feet and strong arches and Bea could use the additional challenge so I’m going to introduce both of them to the Alpha style which I think they will like.

Channeling a ghost: I wear the same scents she wore; vanilla, Chanel #5 and Shalimar. I use the heavy spicy scent sparingly mixed with my fertile musk and dab it on my pulse points a combination that ensnares men from the slightest whiff.  Her tights and leotards fit me perfectly and she had quite a few thong-back leos for practice and to play in w/o tights or with tights over her TB leo for quick access just like I do! It is scary how seemingly alike we are! It’s as though she has gone away for the weekend and I’m just taking her place temporarily. Thought of like that everything seems almost normal for a new white hot infatuation. Over time however while the intensity of Brad’s obsession has only increased my need to test his stamina and exhaust him while I’m channeling Jenna has become troubling.

When we’re alone at his place he has me dress in her clothes. Often he wants me barelegged in a thong back long sleeve turtleneck leotard and Alpha pointes as he conducts my therapy session. In her clothes and with her Milex inserted I can feel her presence guiding me and telling me the little things she did that enchanted him so, like forcing her tongue under his foreskin to caress his glans before he becomes aroused and massively erect. He is so into that fantasy when I’m kneeling between his legs with my tongue sheathed by his foreskin as I gently caress his testicles! I’m sure that my being a ballet dancer as well as a sexuality expert was why he approached me to work with him in his study of hypersexuality. He was taught by the Psychiatrist I helped years ago when he was studying habitual sexual offenders and I’m certain my name and contribution to that study came up.  

Even at my age I can easily pass for being in my very early 30s so physically there is very little difference between the in-shape 27 y/o in the photos and me as an in-shape and very well preserved 43 y/o classical ballet dancer. Except that I’m much tighter than she ever was! I was thrilled to hear that! I don’t think he intended to tell me, but it sort of slipped out between gasps the first time I ripple gripped him. When we first met I immediately sensed he was hoping for an intimate relationship as well as an assistant since he kept telling me how much I look like her. I know I’m repeating myself, but he just tells me that over and over! He says he knows he can’t bring her back, but wants so badly to relive some of their most intense times together. However, there is a much darker side to Brad’s fantasy with me being Jenna.

Jenna as a Succubus: From Wikipedia: “A succubus is a female demon or supernatural entity in folklore (traced back to medieval legend) that appears in dreams and takes the form of a human woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual activity. The male counterpart is the incubus. Religious traditions hold that repeated sexual activity with a succubus may result in the deterioration of health or even death.

In modern fictional representations, a succubus may or may not appear in dreams and is often depicted as a highly attractive seductress or enchantress; whereas, in the past, succubi were generally depicted as frightening and demonic.”

The sex is so intense for us both that in the last few days, as I’ve spent more time as Jenna, I’ve begun to see signs of him physically weakening. He is now on Cialis and topical testosterone, which are helping his stamina to some extent. I’m beginning to think Jenna ghost is not as benign as either of us once thought because when I’m channeling her I’m insatiable! Not that I mind for myself as I’m enjoying the experience. But when I’ve drained Brad and know I should let him rest her control over my libido has me keep going sucking out all his fluids and keeping him erect for hours at a time until he is bordering on Priapism except that I’m continuously stimulating him and his penis is so sore, but neither of us want to stop. When I’m, or is it Jenna who is eventually sated Jenna aura fades and Brad will collapse and fall into a deep sleep of twelve to sixteen hours, which has played havoc his practice of psychiatry.





  1. Wow, Jill, it seems you have a little bit of a devil in you. Is it me, or does it seem that ballerinas like you have some sort of insatiable sexual appetite? I just wish I had one (hypersexed ballerina that is).

    1. Hi Eric, I’m a bit worried about how my relationship with Brad is going to turn out. Not that he isn’t willing. Mentally he’s too willing and his body isn’t getting enough time between our encounters to recover.

      Some ballet dancers are more open about our sexuality than others. I think all of us are highly sexed, In trying to keep the idealized female (or male) ballet body for as long as possible many of us have found that sating our sexual appetites give us the motivation to keep ourselves in peak condition so we are as enticing as possible.


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Powys , Wales, United Kingdom
I'm a classically trained dancer and SAB grad. A Dance Captain and go-to girl overseeing high-roller entertainment for a major casino/resort