Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The tease, the altar ego and an ANR

Teasing Marvin in a pair of my old Gaynors

The photo: Me introducing “Morning Wood” to Gaynor Minden pointes teasing him with the ribbons – tying my feet into my shoes which he thinks of as ‘ballet bondage’ - before our first ballet-sex encounter with me wearing them. He understands as few other men have how important wearing pointes is for me as they boost my confidence exponentially.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder): After watching Brad switch, change personalities, from his vanilla in-charge self when he is the professional psychiatrist helping me understand my new role as a sexual libertine, to his kinky identity when he is a asexually assertive submissive in my thrall when I am wearing Jenna’s things I’ve concluded that he has at least two distinct personalities; the eminent psychiatrist and the love-sick sexually assertive submissive.

Marvin “Morning” Wood: For a link to an article about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) article click: HERE  This article says that multiple personalities occur from some childhood trauma from which the individual is trying to protect him or her self. Nothing that Brad has told me about his childhood indicates that so perhaps he is just good at hiding it. However, I think his marvelously studly sexual  submissive identity, Marvin “Morning” Wood, began appearing shortly after his marriage to Jenna (I’ve seen letters addressed to her from Marvin Wood when he traveled so she knew of his alter ego’s obsession with her in pointe shoes) as he craved her approval for his masculinity. From what he’s said I think the ‘Morning Wood’ persona was developed fully shortly after her death as he began the search for her replacement. For the time being he seems to have settled on me and he is thoughtful and affectionate and a magnificent lover as his fetish personality suggests, and, during a sexual encounter with me as Jenna he takes directions wonderfully. I love it that when we are out together with me as Jenna he likes me to call him ‘MW’ or Woody.

He named his alter ego appropriately as I’ve never seen a harder or more ready man when he wakes and he usually needs to get off several times before his penis wilts. I’ve begun having a casino car pick me up at his place when I sleep over because some of the best sex with him is in the mornings, so I need time after I shower to get myself together before leading an early morning class at the casino. I don’t think he is violent or that I’m in any danger, but I believe he wouldn’t mind if I was able to give him such an intense sexual encounter that it killed him. I think I mentioned earlier that sometimes before we have sex he is so needy he seems suicidal.

Jenna, Marvin and pointe shoes: Brad’s alter ego Marvin was so needy when I returned from Scotland! I‘ve decided to try and gradually expand his sexual experiences with me as ‘Jenna’. And because he is so into pointe shoes I think I stand the best chance of getting him accepting new things in that area of his fixation since he relied on her to show him what she liked which influenced him. Not that he is getting tired of Jenna in Bloch Alpha pointes he still lusts for her in them, but eventually her supply of Alpha shoes will be used up so this is a good time to ease and tease him into what I hope will be a strong fascination with GMs.

I’ve already begun to limit the amount of ballet-sex I’m offering him while wearing Alphas, explaining that I’ve just found Gaynor Minden shoes which are more comfy while lasting longer. He’s not concerned about the cost of her shoes, but he does appreciate her making good economic choices. So while he was cautious about loving her in GM pointes as much as in Alphas after the first several ballet-sex encounters with me on my toes in Gaynors he became a believer, because Jenna was a believer in them.

An adult nursing relationship (ANR):  I found Marvin loves breast milk. I had meant to pump my breasts before I went to Brad’s, but didn’t have time so I took the pump along thinking he might be interested in seeing me pump and perhaps would even want a taste. When I’d made the change to Jenna and unzipped the bag holding my Medela he wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I was going to pump my breasts as they were full (32 B/C cups when they are engorged) and I needed to be milked. I was about to offer him a meal at my breasts when he hung his head and asked quietly if he could please breast feed. I was amazed! It turned out that Jenna had needed all her output for their son and then as she started to wean him she refused Marvin’s request to breast feed because she was trying to stop lactating as she began getting her body back in dancing shape again.  That I hadn’t asked him was in keeping with Jenna’s earlier behavior, but when I agreed and put my pump away he was overjoyed and we lay on the couch in his living room with me on a thick soft towel to catch any nipple leakage when he hungrily latched on switching his sucking between breasts until he had emptied them.  

So an ANR is a huge plus in my favor in my role as Jenna as he is now more invested than ever in the delusion that I’m Jenna and with him developing an adult nursing relationship with me it should make my control of him more profound.  I am going to have to watch the quantity that he is taking because I don’t want my breasts to increase in size. Returning readers may remember that I’m taking meds to limit my milk supply so I don’t lose my 32B cup size and therefore my Balanchine figure. But lactating burns calories so I can eat just about anything I want and with my ballet training regimen, frequent intense sexual activity and being gently milked routinely my weight is stable at 105 lbs.

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Powys , Wales, United Kingdom
I'm a classically trained dancer and SAB grad. A Dance Captain and go-to girl overseeing high-roller entertainment for a major casino/resort