Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Lovers and voyeurism as therapy

Red leather Capezio Aerials, Milex & 1 inch diam. Pyrex Ben Wa balls

The Photo: Three of my fetishes, pointe-shoes, contraceptive cervical barriers and Ben Wa balls. Special order red leather Capezio Aerial pointes, a silicone Milex Omniflex (coil spring) diaphragm and a pair of 1.0 inch Pyrex Ben Wa balls.

Breakthrough therapy with Marvin: In my last post I mentioned Marvin and my discussions about my feelings of lack purpose without a male ballet partner at the castle for training and sex.  As a therapist he understood completely. He told me that as much as he loved his ballerina wife he too had felt incomplete sexually while married to her. He had tried to get Jenna, his dead wife whose place I have taken in his imagination, to have sex with her lovers (who he knew existed) where he could watch to fulfill his voyeuristic desires and stoke his ardor for sex with her later, but she refused.

As far as Marvin’s current patients are concerned he will be assuming the patient load of a psychiatrist who specialized in psycho-sexual disorders in both male and female ballet dancers and who had retired suddenly when his health failed.    So when I brought up the fact that I wasn’t getting enough penile-vaginal intercourse he said that my having lovers was fine as long as I used protection and he could clandestinely watch. Then he went on to suggest I could help him with any of his patients who might have performance anxiety problems where the sex in that instance would be therapeutic for both the patient and me.

I let him carry the conversation since it was going far better than I had any right to expect. He suggested I could hold ninety minute sexual encounter sessions - with me wearing traditional ballet practice clothes or costumes or perhaps fetishwear in leather or latex - which we would call ‘physical therapy’ in the small ballet studio on the second floor of Blackthorn House in Belgravia. Or, if the patient required longer more intense therapy I could have him, or her (but primarily the problem seems to be with men) to the castle for a week so where we could have four encounters a day for five or six days if I felt the patient needed it.  I can’t imagine a patient needing less than a week of intense therapy of that sort and the isolated location of the castle is ideal to get away from the distractions of the city. I was delighted to see that Marvin is beginning to widen the types of clothing he finds alluring on Jenna since he specifically mentioned latex and leather which I have been slowly guiding him toward.

A win-win: I thought our agreement on my lovers and his voyeurism issue was a win-win as we definitely want to marry and have a child (to be carried by a surrogate) to assure the line of succession for the Barony. But we both need to satisfy our personal sexual needs as well. The amazing thing is that we agree on a way to do that that is acceptable to us both! I was so pleased that we could satisfy his voyeurism compulsion and stoke his ardor for me with my need for intense sex with multiple men. Readers who have been with me for years, when my blog was on Yahoo, may recall that I helped my psychiatrist back then treat sexual predators when I lived on the East Coast. So these patients with whom I will have the athleticism and art of ballet in common should be far easier to deal with.

Since his patients are seen through the clinic they will be automatically given full panel STI tests to ensure my safety. Of course I’m tasted monthly as well so the patient and I will share the results of our STI tests (if they ask) before any fluids are exchanged. As far as contraception is concerned I intend to take a virile disease free patient with him unprotected unless he prefers that we use condoms. I will wear a diaphragm or cervical cap depending on where I am in my cycle (I’m CD5 and bleeding freely as this is written) and whether we are having ballet or dive-sex.

His Grace called: Maya, the Russian Mariinsky ballerina Escort he has been fucking since well before Christmas is pregnant. He is sending her to me for a termination which she has agreed to, but she is feeling very vulnerable at the moment and since Maya and I got along well she wanted to come to me.  So much for the effectiveness of the IUD she has inserted.

In my December 28th post entitled ‘Yule at Crag Abbey’ I wrote about Maya’s IUD: “Maya has a ‘normal’ – 31mm x 24mm - German Medusa Goldring Ag+Au (silver+gold) IUD inserted from which the strings have been removed. She has been wearing it for a year w/o problems even when being thrown and landing jumps so she should be safe from pregnancy.” Well, she should have been, but there is no 100% effective method of contraception and this sort of an event keeps driving that point home. Chris, my male Gyn, will remove the Medusa as he rotated through a three week course on the Medusa IUD in Munich this past summer and he will also do the extraction of the reproductive tissue and then implant a 6 bead GyneFix copper IUD during the procedure.



  1. Wouldn't the leather on the toes of those shoes be very slippery on a wooden floor?

    1. They are not nearly as slippery as satin but traction for both satin and leather on a Marley covered studio floor is excellent.and in studios with wooden floors the floor is sprinkled with water before each class.

  2. I thought most pointes had something on the toes for grip...?

    1. One maker (Gaynor Minden) has an option for suede tips that are amazingly stable. However, most dancers just trim the satin off the platforms exposing the canvas beneath, for better traction and for performances powdered rosin is ground into the platforms...

    2. do you like the sound of crushing rosin, remindes me of bubble wrap or crushing bugs heh,

      have you ever crushed out a cigar with leather pointes as they would be better more fireproof


    3. Hi wws, I've never crushed out a cigar with the platform on one of my leather pointes, but I have with the sole which is hard thick leather. I've never thought about what grinding rosin into the platforms sounds like.

  3. how come never the pointe of the shoes, they are rock hard, also do the leather ones feel any differant on the inside from the satin ones?


    1. Hi jj, Hardness has nothing to do with it. Why chance the scorching of the leather where in might be seen? There is little difference jn feel though I think the leather shoes stretch quicker. The biggest differences are in the initial grip of the leather platform which until broken in develops much more friction than satin platforms and have a far stronger leather scent, especially when they are sweat dampened and the leather creaking as the shanks flex.

    2. I see, I myself like the smell of certain kinds of leather, an old coat or suede, or working with horses, my knife sheath for my buck knife smells really bad though very heavy smell, so I dont like the smell of it, but I do in general, especialy deerhide, remindes me of working in the shop doing an honest days work like a man, and the times going to a skating rink and the good times that brought years ago, had the smell of old skate boots after all, iceskates are a differant affair, they dont have the nice leather smell hockey skates anyway they smell really bad, and they say pointes develope a really bad smell, though you seem to have your fans, of it, as you mentioned in posts,

      that said Dutchess of Blackthorn, I come here as morbid curiousity, and the differant rare pointe questions, the stuff you write about is like a soap opera, at first I did not know what to think, since the terms of service are changing, I dont mean to come as judgemental, but. as someone that has a heavy catholic background teaching at a school, and going though the privet schools as you told us you did, you know how the Roman church feels about what you have admitted to doing , tempting semenary students, eating human parts, rampant sex, and murdering even in self defense, as well as taking part in abortions, and cleaning up scenes and disposing of the corpses, and being close to a dangerous person like "adolph" who would kill so willingly and with a woodchipper over small things, and his necrophilia, he seems like a really sick person, as well as his power and blood lust nature.

      I am glad you get to dance, and willing to discuss things about the depths of the human mind, and love the leather pointes, they are rare, and more shiney and durable then satin, I like the rare things in life, its what makes a hunt truly worth it like a good deal on something, or a rare eiswine, or world class tea at a local tea room, and I like the look of ballet with the softer colors and graceful but very athleatic movement, or bold strong colors of the modern period like Balancine, and Pettit, which moved more angular and used a bit of jazz and modern in some of the works used in the movies and productions. I like the softer things like flowers, cats, and silk it feels nice on the skin and very embraceable, as well as the nice costuming in ballet and theater, but you know how the church feels about what you do and an afront to what she teaches about authentic love, even if the clergy are corrupt, the truth remains and when the end of life comes for you I hope you have come to terms for the right things you did, and the wrongs you have done, that you are aware of doing.

      since you dont seem to be hunting people down or stealing information unlike the governments of the the world,
      I will tell you that I am a fan of anime, other cultures, and I am a hard core tridentine catholic if you could not tell though the years,
      and I am an internet aquantance of Paul D the ballerinas blacksmith, and my name is Jeremy

      thanks for the pics of cowhide pointes over the three years, they were pretty, though I thought you were just a fetishist or showgirl and nothing more at the beginning, and in the end I hope your choices were worth it.
      I might not be perfect nor see the amount of money you have in life, but I never did the stuff you did, but God loves you and I the same, and i hope one day you get right with the Creator, because eternity is a long long time, and in the end its heaven or hell.


    3. Hi Jeremy, Thanks for the lovely comment and your concern for my final destination. My title is Baroness, however unless presented to the Queen - which seems unlikely - I don't plan to use it very much. You have spent a lot of time reading my blog and I hope you found it instructive, perhaps in what not to do...

      Best wishes,


    4. hmm well more then I needed or wanted to know, Duchess, I am surprised you posted my response, its long and very judgemental.

      some of the stuff you wrote about I did not know what to belive, I mean it sounds like a movie, and for a span made me have distain for the really rich, I have seen and read of stories about what ceo's do dabbling in the occult and black magic, and a fear of those in power, I tell you you cant trust some of them, I too have some very connected family, not as much I dont think as politicians, but one used to be part of the carter whitehouse when younger. and their other half is a lawer, and one of their brothers works for a brokerage in a certain stock exchange, I would love to say more, but I dont want to give too much away, I dont want any visits from your aquantances, the internet after all is a trove of information and not hard to find stuff on people especialy if they do social media, or you have a name, there is all kinds of other spy stuff out there that. is not known about even more so then what the leaks have given away, and there are people soo good at reading minute patters about how people speak, type, and structure of speach that they can find a person like a bloodhound, you problably already know this, as well as problably have fluancy in at least 3 non english languages, being from a world of more privlage then most and having the schooling you have, or at least picking up things from the people you hang out with and look after.

      as for cigars I like the taste but I also like to jab things in the side, and yea I have crushed a few out, but its bad mannors as you problably know as well as the proper way to light them to get the taste out of them, I just hope you dont make a habit of stomping them out all the time, it makes a place smell from breaking the cigar open and its a slap in the fact to the maker that put the time and harder to find talent rolling it up,

      but the reason I asked in the first time you showed red leather pointes is that I figured useing all the concentrated weight would put the burning end out faster I have seen what it can do on the ground and styrofoam deeper even then it getting ran over by a bulldozer due to the track spreading out all that weight very well or how small surface area can pierce hardened materials better then something wider as armor piercing ammo goes, or shaped charges, or even a plasma cutter in metal working, it takes an ordnary gas cutting torch and ionizes the gas supercharging the energy it puts out and effectivly cutting things out cleaner and better.


  4. Did you put it out after smoking it, or was it to punish someone for smoking in the wrong places or both?


    1. Hi JJ, I’ve never cared much for tobacco especially cigars though I think some pipe smoke has a lovely bouquet. The occasion I remember when someone who had too much to drink and was trying to be smart said “Stuff this up your cunt, bitch!” So I pulled it out of his mouth and crushed it with the sole of my pointe.

    2. yea I like the smell of aromatics in a pipe and the way some of the pipes are carved its real artwork for some.

      but I can understand smoking is bad for you, but I figured it was one of the men with you that liked an in charge woman, serves the drunk right, but I just wondered the story behind that, figured happened more then once since you hang with all kinds of old and new money, and how they like nice cigars from time to time, figured you had a few when with the guys in your day I mean vegas and all I am sure you had your share of guys interested in you, and you might have had one during a poker game or playing the tables, and seeing as you say you are always wearing ballet heels or pointe shoes, but yea there have been a few times when they used to allow smoking in eateries and some lunk smokes a cigar and we just had to sit right by the boarder of the smoking section, made me want to grab the fire extiguisher and use it on em.

      Me though once in a blue moon I will have one, and I mainly do it for kicks like the old commedians, and find the biggest one I can get, or I will go to one of my known haunts and pull it out and ask you mind if I partake of this, to see their reaction as they tell me no. and I wave it around like groucho marx the comedian, he was funny and witty I tell you from the old stuff I saw of him on youtube.

      bad news from the front? I hate bad news from the front, why cant we ever get good news from the side? lol


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Powys , Wales, United Kingdom
I'm a classically trained dancer and SAB grad. A Dance Captain and go-to girl overseeing high-roller entertainment for a major casino/resort