Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The million dollar dildo


The gear shifter on a bugatti-veyron-fbg

Attempting a personal best: One of Taryn’s friends whose parents live in town likes to masturbate using unique dildos. Last night she decided to use the gear shifter on her father’s car in an attempt for a personal best involving what she called a ‘difficulty 4’ shaft while working in a very confined space and got into trouble. Fortunately she had her cell with her and called Taryn who called me and we went over to see if we could help.

Her father has several cars and the one she decided to fuck herself with was his 2008 Bugatti Veyron Fbg Par Hermès, a precision road instrument. The interior is done in Hermès leather and the price starts at $1,500,000. Dani’s dads machine cost far more than that!. It will reach speeds of 210 mph and gets a bit better than 8 miles/gal in city driving so we aren’t talking about a green machine here! It was easy to see why she chose the Veyrone Fbg. It is exquisitely crafted and the passenger seats fit like gloves while the scent of leather fills your nostrils so I think most girls have a sexual experience with something that comfortable, luxurious and powerful just sitting in it with the engine off, but of course Dani wasn’t sitting in one of the seats.

We found her in the closed garage of her parent’s home in the Bugatti with both its doors open. She was facing the rear and was impaled on the gear shifter and there was blood and urine all over the console and floor on both sides. She said she thought the shift lever itself was clean because since condoms wouldn’t fit she had pulled a balloon over it. We helped her put on a ball gag to so she would have something to bite down on and muffle her screams while we tried to move her, but the passenger compartment is so cramped that Taryn and I couldn’t get enough leverage to lift her off the gear shifter. We ended up calling Pirate who called Gepetto and they brought a hydraulic lift with an arm that would reach into the car and put wide nylon slings under her buns to lift her off. When he got there Pirate gave Dani two Percocet capsules to numb her up and she was ready by the time Gepetto arrived with the hydraulic lift. Fortunately the adjoining garage bay was unoccupied so there was no need to move other cars. We all knew that the problem was getting the shifter out from behind her pubic bone so she could be lifted off. We managed that by putting a wide nylon strap behind her butt and while Taryn and I pulled on one end Pirate pulled on the other to try and force the shifter against the back wall of her vagina - hoping that would allow the front edge of the shift column to clear her pubic bone - as Gepetto operated the lift. We tilted her pelvis a bit as though she was thrusting to give the shift column as much room as possible and with the three of us pulling Gepetto operated the lift and lifted her off on the first try! Once I saw the shifter was out from behind her pelvis we stopped pulling and I bent her over so as she was lifted off she wouldn’t be mashed against the roof of the cabin.

The good news: I had called Chuck, a male Gyn at the clinic and Taryn’s boyfriend, and he was waiting for us to bring Dani in to see how badly she was hurt. It turned out she was just painfully scraped where she had repeatedly tried to pull herself off so she wasn’t seriously injured. She is on pain meds for a few days and is supposed to have no penetrative sex for two weeks but I don’t think that will happen. And the gear shifter itself was well protected by the balloon she used as a condom.

The bad news is that having the gearbox, console and leather in the car cleaned is going to be very expensive and her dad doesn’t know yet if the car will have to be sent back to the factory for cleaning and for leather replacement. I was surprised that her parents weren’t more upset than they were. I think they were just relieved she was ok. Her mom smiled and said Dani’s incident reminded her of the time she slipped while masturbating with the floor shift of an antique ford and the only thing that saved her was being able to catch herself on the steering wheel and dash board. Her dad said he would have liked to see that. I didn’t ask if he was talking about Dani or his wife.

3 comments:

  1. Jill, there are some really fucked up people in your inner and outer circle! (I mean the fucked up as in sexed up, rather than messed up.) I have never heard about someone masterbating on a gear shifter! Talk about getting yourself revved up! The phrase, "Paradise by the dashboard light," might also come to mind. She must be able to take some pretty wide dudes if she was able to take that gear shifter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Eric… Fortunately Dani, like most of the girls who are into large men, uses a topical estrogen cream to make her vulva and her introitus as stretchy as possible because none of us want to tear while a big man is in the saddle. A girl who can take a 2.5 inch diameter man can easily take most round or oval gear shifters. She just let it go in too deep so it locked behind her pubic bone. Then she was trapped.

    Using a gear shifter as a dildo isn’t all that unusual. Of course using a Bugatti gear shifter is because there are so few of them. One of the advantages of a girl driving her dad’s antique 30s era car was that she didn’t have to spend money on dildos. Guy’s never seemed to figure out that particular attraction.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Guy’s never seemed to figure out that particular attraction."

    I would have to agree with that assessment. I wouldn't want to put something in me that is connected to something that can go 0 to 60 in 10 seconds.

    ReplyDelete

Blog Archive

Lijit Search

Labels

Followers

About Me

My photo
Powys , Wales, United Kingdom
I'm a classically trained dancer and SAB grad. A Dance Captain and go-to girl overseeing high-roller entertainment for a major casino/resort